Help My Life Is Argh!!!!

[SilenThunder]

My Ex and I have become rather close (not too close) since I have had troubles with my girlfriend.

 

Little Background Info:

• I Broke up with my ex about 14 Months ago
  
• Have been dating my current girlfriend for 8 months

Since I have had troubles with my girlfriend, I confided in the only person who would talk to me or pay attention to me without freaking out - my ex girlfriend. I felt she understood me and thereforeee could provide good advice based on our past relationship and such.

 

Well, I soon-after realized how much better of a relationship I had with my ex than I do with my current girlfriend. I had it all with my exgirlfriend but I became confused after our 1 year and I had no idea what to do so I broke up with her thinking I didn't love her anymore. It hurt alot, but I figured that was just how it was after a breakup so I just pushed through it.

 

Well, My ex and I have come a long ways since then and now can sit around and have fun, make jokes and such without anything be uncomfortable.

 

The only thing between me and My ex is my best friend who started dating my ex 5 months after I broke up with her... It infuriated me and I expressed that both to them, actually I shouldnt call him my best friend, I denounced our friendship and now he just treats me like garbage wheneve ri see him ... jerk

 

Anyways, aside from that being a problem I feel like my ex never wants to confide in me if she has a problem but as much as I want to be her friend... She never really talks to me about whats going on her life - like good friends do - so what should I do about it? Should I even be friends with my ex? Is that okay to do?

 

I guess my third problem here is my current relationship is crap, I'm constantly getting sick and tired of my girlfriend complaining about everything and always getting stressed out over nothing. We always fight and because we're both so busy we rarely get to have good moments. Because of this, and reflecting on my past I realised I made a huge mistake with breaking up with my ex because It really was probably the happiest thing that ever happened to me and... as much as I want to tell her I want her back and I made a huge mistake, I know I could never and should never say that.

 

We've talked about our breakup and we both came to the conclusion it could have worked out if we both went about it differently and we'd have found ourselves happy here today.

 

But I find myself confused because I feel liek I want her back or... Not even her, I want that relationship back.. I was so happy, everything was great (aside from the breakup) and I dont know, iw ish I could have that with my current girlfriend but my current girlfriend comes from a mentally (not literally) messed up family and that goes about everything in a messed up way.

 

I dont know... I could break up with my girlfriend, but that still leaves me alone and having to find someone else... I can never find a girl to make me as happy as my ex did, and I dont want to feel like i'll regret this the rest of my life... I had what i ever needed, what the hell is wrong with me to have let it go like that?

 

I'm just about 19 year old... I"m not immature, I do my best to approach everything in a mature manner, I realize i will meet other people and life will go on, but I have alot of trouble socializing and it feels like non of my interests match other peoples... My dislikes seems to be within every girl i find, excet my ex... Who was well - perfect with one exception (she was whiney and dependent which I didnt mind too much)....

 

This post is really confusing I think.... But If you can make any sense of any part of it and can throw any advice my way i would very much appreciate it... I know I have life ahead of me, But I want to find myself in a secure relationship in my 20's... Not be single in my 30s... I dunno, I want to be happy is all...

[Mrocza]

If you're not happy with your current relationship, why stick with it? Your interests obviously lie elsewhere and it's not really fair to your current gf to drag it on If you're serious about the relationship, and your current gf, try to work it out. You are young, but why waste time when you're not happy.

 

Your ex gf...does she show signs of being interested with you? Is she happy with her current bf? Although your feelings may have changed towards her, she may still regard you as just a friend. Unless she makes it obvious otherwise, I wouldn't suggest saying anything for the sake of your friendship. However, you never know. She could be secretly waiting for you to mention something (Again, I don;t know HER situation so these are just hypothetical)

 

Why don't you talk to your ex about your current gf...that you're not happy and are thinking of ending it...that it's not what you want in a relationship. That what you want in a relationship you messed up before because you didn't know what you wanted then (hint hint) See her reaction.

 

Good Luck

[SilenThunder]

I talk to my ex about my relationship, she helps me out alot with it too...

 

My ex loves her relationship with that jerk of a guy... Unfortunately I will probably never get back together with her because of it.

 

She knows I regret breaking up with her because I've told her that and she just said "I kinda figured that out"

 

So I dont know, I'm stuck here... I have good moments with my girlfriend but I know we wont last for very long... If we make it 1 year I will be surprised.

 

So i just dont know... Thanks for you advice... Anybody else have any?

[melrich]

I could break up with my girlfriend, but that still leaves me alone and having to find someone else...

 

That's no reason to stay in a relationship.

[Mrocza]

I agree.

 

Breaking up with her doesn't mean you have to find someone new. And being alone isn't that horrible. Perhaps being alone is what you need to figure things out for yourself. You're not happy in this relationship- get out of it, and figure out what would make you happy.

 

Don't compare things to your ex. It's a past relationship and she's happy now. She's moved on and theres not much you can do. You can accept her friendship or move on yourself. Now you know better for the future