Aaarrrr! Ex Calls Out Of Nowhere!

[moondog627]

People, I never thought this day would come. I was on the phone with my mom when I get another call, to which I can't view on my caller ID. And who is it? My f*ckin ex. We haven't spoken in over 4 months and I NEVER EVER thought she would speak to me again. God, I'm shaking while writing this now. I'm elated and filled with rage at the same time. WHY COULDN'T YOU F*CKING LEAVE ME BE?!?! I was healing so well. We talked for about 25 minutes, just caught up with each others lives and wished each other and our respective families a happy holidays. And then I wrapped up the call. I was a little nervous at first but came off cool, collective, confident and even funny at times. No hint of weakness. I'm not looking into this call for some deeper meaning or sign. I just wish it never happened.

[Cynder]

I have noticed so many threads like this lately. Maybe it's because the holidays bring out the sentimental side of people.

[Mrocza]

You sound like you handled it well.

 

Don't stress too much over it. Pretend it never happened. She was probably trying to justify something to herself by wishing you all the best, unaware of how you would potentially take it.

 

You were doing fine and you ARE doing fine. A mere phone call can shake you up at bit, but can't change that.

[capricorn85]

I think you did pretty good. My ex has been calling me lately, check out my thread people left some good advie on there! If her calling begins to affect you do not pick up next time she calls....

[Bigbilly]

Damn man, that sucks. Here's hoping you get over it quick.

[healinginnyc81]

Well, it's good to know you don't want her back. But I think you handled it well by ending the call when you decided to. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with bringing up those emotions since it's only been 4 months.

[moondog627]

Thanks everyone. I'm actually not hurting as bad as I thought I would from the call. I'm trying not to think about it or analyze it because when I do it only fills me with confusion. Ah well, whatever. Here's to moving on in 2006.

[novaseeker]

Yeah it's a pain. I got a call from my recent ex about 2 weeks ago out of the blue ("just to see if I was okay" ... right), and it was annoying, but I kept it to 5 minutes and after a day or two I was back to where I was before the call.

[Jut]

Great Job Moondog

But i would advise you not to pick up her phone again. You never know what the agenda could be.

[moondog627]

Well, I'm not anticipating another call. I just assume she's getting sentimental due to the season. We always did have the most amazing Christmas'. But if she phones again I'll call her out on what her motives are. Or I won't pick up at all. Still, I don't think she'll call me again.

[Lion-Guy]

Hey man I am sorry you had to go through that. I haven't seen my ex in 2 months since we broke up. You guys are right. The healing process works much better when you don't talk to them.

 

If my ex calls me down the road, would it be better to just not answer? Or does that take too much self control. I haven't been there so I don't know. But at least I can prepare.

[novaseeker]

Hey man I am sorry you had to go through that. I haven't seen my ex in 2 months since we broke up. You guys are right. The healing process works much better when you don't talk to them.

 

If my ex calls me down the road, would it be better to just not answer? Or does that take too much self control. I haven't been there so I don't know. But at least I can prepare.

 

If you have caller ID, yeah don't answer. It's still annoying because even seeing the name flash there or the recognized number is itself a "contact" and will start the mind running again, but it's better than having a conversation because that will probably set you back a few days at least. And if a voice mail is left, don't listen to it. It's not worth it.

[alphonsefa]

Hey Nova,

 

I got that same kind of call from a girl that broke it off with me 3 times! At the last break up, the 3rd one, I called her a sick (4 letter word that starts with F) for going back to an abusive boyfriend, which she did everytime she would leave me. And I also told her at the break, "next time you get depressed, don't call me"! Three months later she calls, just to see how I was doing...lol. Yeah Right! So you are mad at me for what I called you, and have no interest in us anymore, yet you call to see how I'm doing??? Did she think I'd buy that? I hate her for doing that to me because it set me back just when I had stopped thinking about her. When they do this to you it's just their way of testing the water to see if you're still on the hook for them. I should of told her to go pound sand instead of being friendly to her.

[novaseeker]

Yep. You've got it.

[Lion-Guy]

What if you get a simple:

 

"Merry Christmas and Have a good new Years, love always (xxxxxx)" e-mail?

 

Do you just ignore it or be nice and write something along the same lines back? Like "thanks you too."

[healinginnyc81]

I think "thanks you too" is a great answer. Just don't add anything else to it.

[moondog627]

I agree. Just write something along those lines.

 

As for me, haven't heard from my ex since she called last week. And ya know what? I don't give a damn. The confusion only lasted a couple days and now I'm back to peak performance and lookin forward to partying my a** off this weekend.

[healinginnyc81]

moondog, great to hear man, I hope you have fun.

I'm really trying to get myself in good enough emotional condition to have fun new years eve. I don't want to be the guy who's just sitting around and saying nothing because I'm afraid I'll start whining.

 

Here's hoping everyone has a great new years.

[moondog627]

I hear ya Bk. It was really hard for me to enjoy going out at first. But if you're gonna go out you owe it to yourself to have a good time. And the only way you can do that is by making a conscious effort to leave any thoughts of the ex behind. Save that for later. Concentrate on yourself and just having a good time. I'm sure your friends will be able to help you out. And I don't plan on thinking what my ex is up to or who she is with. To hell with her. Our ex's don't provide our happiness. That's up to us. I'm gonna make this the best New Year's yet.