In a bind... I Like a girl with a boyfreind.

[RayF]

I've become close to a girl i go to school with, we started gradually talking and I've come to realize that i've never connected with somebody so well. In fact I've spent the better part of two years trying to get over my ex, with other girls in-between and this is the first girl that has really sparked my attention.

 

We talk for hours and hours and flirt often but she does have a boyfriend. We've made plans to go out and he's come along and i've made an effot to talk to him and get to know him to ensure that he dosn't think i'm after his girl and because i want this girl to know i respect the fact she has a boyfriend.

 

Because i'm really not. she's a great chick and he seems like a nice guy and she seems to like him (i don't ask her too many personal questions about it) but i can also feel an attraction with me.

 

So the bind i''m in is we talk and hang out often. we connect REALLY REALLY well i want her in my life as a friend because people you connect this well with don't come around too often. But i can't help but feel the way i feel, i'm very attracted to her and really do wish i could have more with her. I don't know if i should back off or what. I don't want to confuse her and become an obstical in the relationship. thus far i've been very low key about it but when i talk to her for 6 hours straight i feel weird about it. But i don't know if i should.

 

What should i do?

[ofealia]

I'll say it before someone else does:

talking for hours and hours on the phone puts you smack dab in the FRIENDZONE.

 

especailly if she's comfortable enough to have you go places with her and her boyfriend...if I had a boyfriend and liked someone else...the last thing i'd want to do is hang out with them at the same time.

[registered]

she's a great chick and he seems like a nice guy and she seems to like him

You are a friend and nothing more.

 

That "attraction" and all those things you do is friendship. If she wanted to be with you she would make it much clearer. And if the boyfriend felt threatened he'd tell you to back off.

[ShySoul]

talking for hours and hours on the phone puts you smack dab in the FRIENDZONE.

 

Tell that to the girl who I can spend hours and hours on the phone with (think it was 6 hours straight one time) and who not only likes me, but says she loves me. Friendszone? What friendszone?

 

The issue here is that she has a boyfriend. As long as she is involved with someone else, you can only be a friend. You wouldn't want it to be anything else because that would just get messy. Really, you say you are comfortable with the friendship, so enjoy the friendship. Who knows what can happen in the future. But as long as she has a boyfriend, you can't have anything else.

[Dating Coach]

Talk is talk, actions are another thing all together. People can say what they want but if they really meant it, it would happen.

[atraceofblood]

Tell that to the girl who I can spend hours and hours on the phone with (think it was 6 hours straight one time) and who not only likes me, but says she loves me. Friendszone? What friendszone?

 

The issue here is that she has a boyfriend. As long as she is involved with someone else, you can only be a friend. You wouldn't want it to be anything else because that would just get messy. Really, you say you are comfortable with the friendship, so enjoy the friendship. Who knows what can happen in the future. But as long as she has a boyfriend, you can't have anything else.

 

I agree with you. I'm kinda caught in the same situation as you except, I've never had the chance to talk to any girl 6 hours straight!

 

Just be her friend and be there for her as a friend.

[kholdstare]

I'll say it before someone else does:

talking for hours and hours on the phone puts you smack dab in the FRIENDZONE.

 

 

I'm a little confused as to why this is????

[ofealia]

I'll say it before someone else does:

talking for hours and hours on the phone puts you smack dab in the FRIENDZONE.

 

 

I'm a little confused as to why this is????

 

ok...when i wrote this, I was feeling a little out of sorts..and didn't mean it to sound as 'final' as it did.... I figured someone else was going to post the same thing based on a lot of posts that I've read in the past month or so...this theme seems to be pretty common.

I agree with it in some aspects and don't in others...on one hand, when I like someone...I want to talk to them allll the time...even about random things like what I'm shopping for at the mall. On the other hand...if it's someone that I have a romantic interest in, hopefully I will want to spend physical time with them...

I've also been in situations where I've talked to someone so much on the phone, that once we're together in person, we have run out of subjects.

 

something that I read/heard one time..that actually makes some sense, if you think about it is: Guys are only friends with girls they want to sleep with...and girls are only friends with guys they don't wnat to sleep with.

I know this seems a little harsh...but in a lot of cases, I think it's true

again...sorry I sounded so harsh....

[Dating Coach]

something that I read/heard one time..that actually makes some sense, if you think about it is: Guys are only friends with girls they want to sleep with...and girls are only friends with guys they don't wnat to sleep with.

I know this seems a little harsh...but in a lot of cases, I think it's true

again...sorry I sounded so harsh....

 

I agree with the Friendzone statement, but a lot guys can be friends with a girl and not want her. I have a few female friends, and they're great! However it is VERY common for guy friends to have secret crushes. I think that is what you were referring to and you would be correct to say that it is very common. Not always.

[Cathy86]

hehhe i was too lazy to read all the replies but to repeat ShySoul, yeah as long as shes in a relationship with some1 else and they are committed and all involved then u seriously cant do anything about it nomatter what, nomatter how harsh it sounds...thats how it works

Cathy~

[Bobo]

Im in a similar situation but the thing is the bf lives several hundred miles away! Uumm, I guess you should just show the two of them respect and that... Be there for her if anything goes wrong with her and the bf. Im afraid that all you can do, if she and her bf seem to be getting on perfectly fine at the moment...