contacting an ex on their b-day

[cingularity83]

I'm thinking about sending an ex an e-card just saying happy birthday....but not quite sure if its the right thing to do..also I am hoping that she dosen't reply to it...because even if she did reply to it I have no intention on replying back...and it will be the last time I contact her for a very long, long time...last time I heard from her was thanksgiving day...she sent a text simply wishing me a happy thanksgiving and I replied wishing her the same and that was the end of that. Its been 8 months since we last saw each other...but I don't want her getting the wrong impresion by me sending her a b-day card that I still want her or anything like that...most of the hard feelings I had have for the most part dissolved away...and I wish nothing but good things for her...so my question is will it be a good idea to do it or should I just let it go....

[melrich]

Are you thinking of sending it just to be polite? If you have no other motives or expectations I think it would be OK to send.

[ocrob]

That is a tough one. I am wondering if my ex will send me a birthday e-mail and if she does, will I respond. It is hard because we really want to achnowledge these things for people that have been special to us. I think, if you do not want her to respond, then maybe you should not. And if she does not respond that might make you feel bad. After all, you don't talk anymore so my acknowledge her?

[cingularity83]

I have no intentions at all....infact I don't want her replying to it really.....just a little something to show her that I care about her ( not in a romantic way ) and I meant it when I told her before she moved back home that she'll always have a special place in my heart no matter what happened between us...

[cingularity83]

I understand what you are saying ocrob...but if she was nice enough to send me a text on thanksgiving wishing me well...why can't I do the same for her b-day..we are not at war with each other as far as I know...and her not responding if I send her won't make me upset...if anything it will only show what type of person she is....but its not enough a reason to make me get mad at her tho....

[annie24]

Are you thinking of sending it just to be polite? If you have no other motives or expectations I think it would be OK to send.

 

I agree. Nothing wrong with the e-card, as loing as it is simple and unemotional.

 

Good luck

[ocrob]

I say that if it makes you happy, then you should do it.

[acuraman]

Don't send it if you expect a reply that you are not going to answer to. What do you expect to accomplish by doing so?

[novaseeker]

It's tricky.

 

My most recent break-up (just over a month ago) was literally a week before my ex's birthday and three weeks before mine. So I certainly did send him a birthday e-card (a non-emotional one), and he thanked me for it. A few weeks later when my birthday came, he also sent me an email wishing me Happy Birthday, but it was an odd feeling for me ... I was happy to see he had remembered, but nevertheless annoyed by the intrusion. To his credit he did keep it simple and not in the context of a long note or anything, and I did send a brief note in response requesting "low" contact, which he has kept to pretty much since then. But as for next year ... I don't know what I'll do. It seems like a long way off.

[cingularity83]

I get and understand your point acuraman....but thats the whole idea...I am finally at the stage where I don't care anymore... nothing she says or does is going to bring me up or bring me down...I mean its just a simple happy birthday...if she takes it the wrong way... then she obviously has some issues she needs to deal with...I've been fighting hard the last 7 months to get to where I am at now emotionally...and even though I am not 100% there yet I'll be damned to let anyone take me back down...