She called twice. Unexpected Happened!

[Royltnxile]

Okay, for any of you out there wondering if they still think about you..blah blah blah, or wondering if they lose your number and don't miss you...blah blah blah....

 

They do. And that's why the NC is important and no one should be intimidated or worried that they (ex's) are going to think you have left the planet. After 3 months of NC on my part, guess what?

 

I got a phone call on my cell last Tuesday at 930am from Sharon (ex). Some of you remember that my last dealings with her were 3 months ago when we talked about doing lunch together and when I left it in her hands to call me to set it up....she never followed through. So I let it lie and have left her completely alone - no calls, texts, cards..etc.etc..since mid-September. Haven't heard from her and she let my birthday pass without as much as a text, call, or card. No contact put into serious practice on my part.

 

"Hi Jon, it's Sharon, ..would you give me a call when you get this message please...(recites her phone number), ..thanks" Her voice was pleasant and soft spoken...no sense of urgency, yet she wants me to "call her when I get this message". ?? Very strange, so now the following questions are churning in my mind:

Why at 930am on a workday?

Why didnt she use my work #?

What does she want, and why not mention it specifically on the voice mail? ..ie...sorry I missed your bday or "I have your dvds"...etc..etc...

My gut tells me that was a very calculated, postured, and scripted phone message on her part.

Maybe she has truly reached the point where she is missing me, the holidays, my birthday..etc.e.tc...(this time last year was total "honeymoon" period)

Is she baiting me hoping that I call her back?

Maybe she feels like she is losing me totally....(after this last period of NC)?

Perhaps she has been dating someone and just got dumped, or dumped them and she want's to feel out my interest and availability?

I have no idea and kind of wish she hadn't called. I had just settled into the idea of letting the holidays go by without contacting her too...that's the ironic thing. Just last night I showed an old friend a few snapshots of Julie, who I have been dating for 4 months, but I'm not in love with her. I'm about 70% healed I would estimate...yet I am damn curious about what she wants.

 

Call her back?

Ignore the call?

 

She called again 2 days later and left no message.

 

Aside from seeking guidance on my current situation, I just wanted to say....to all of you wondering about the pro's and con's of NC, I'm a firm believer in just leaving them be and leaving them alone. Don't worry about them "forgetting". Been 10 months since break up, 3 months of strict no contact,....and...she knew how to get ahold of me didn't she? God only knows what she wants.

[DN]

Ignore the call - if it is really important she will leave a message and say why.

[Cooperstown]

Seems like your doing well without her, like DN said if it is something truly important she would have left or message or she will call you back. She just looking for attention, you probabl provided her with the feeling of sought, wanted, and needed and she's probably missing that feeling.

[Relationship Coach]

I second that, ignore the call. She's baiting you and probably figured the call would go to voicemail. I wouldn't return her call even if she said she has some information for you from the CDC. You have done well with the NC, you have excelled in the healing process and have met someone. Enjoy your time with Juile, you are not ready for love any ways. Remain strong and avoid this entire situation, she had an agenda.

[Lady Bugg]

Hi Roy!

 

Consider the worse case scenerio....maybe she wants to borrow money? lol

 

Ok maybe that's harsh.....but it will keep you frm callig back. Hold onto that wallet!!!

[Jut]

Its simple. SHe felt bored and wanted to gauge whether she has a support system(read a doormat) in place on which she can walk over whenever she wants. I wont even bother picking the phone if she calls again, leave alone calling back.

[Royltnxile]

I think you guys are right. Until she brings something to the table and offers up specifics, I'm not calling her back. I'm dating someone else now anyway. I just think it's funny how they always wait until you are truly letting go before they start calling you. It always happens like that.