knows she's wrong..but ...

[parvati]

Hi everyone,

I've read a couple of your threads but don't know where to place this.

Well here it goes....its abt a friend of mine. She confessed to a lot of things and I don't know what to tell her.

A couple of months ago, she was invited to her husband's office party. She loves to dance but her man can't dance. So they sat for a while at a table and ordered drinks. Later his boss joined them. They had met quite a number of times. He later asked her for a dance. Her husband said ok and they both hit the floor. The first number went fine but he started complimenting her figure. She was drunk and enjoying the attention till then. She admitted that she was getting excited the same time, as he was touching her at times. When she felt she coudln't hold on without getting too weak on the knnes...she tried gettng away saying she wanted to go to the rest room and he escorted her till there. She did but it was occupied. She badly needed to go to and he suggested that she check if there was one upstairs. He helped her up...

Well, to cut it short. It ended up in more than touching. She promised that they didn't go all the way .....but a lot happened.

I am not sure if I shud be saying all that here.

They have been keeping in contact since then, tho she knows she shudn't be...

 

What can i tell her?

[DN]

Tell her she is cheating even if she is not going all the way. She is betraying her husband and jeopardising his marriage, his job and his happiness. There is absolutely no excuse for her behaviour and she should grow up, concentrate on her marriage and if her husband ever decides to find another job do nothing to discourage him.

[Mrocza]

Agreed.

 

"even though she knows it's wrong".

 

She shouldn't have to come to someone for advice to justify her actions. If she loves her husband, she'd respect him enough to try to keep it in her pants. She's jeopardizing her relationship, his JOB...what is she thinking?

 

Tell her to grow up.

[WildChild]

I agree with both DN and fairie16. Not only that fact, even though you two are friends, she has put you in a position that not too many people want to be thrown into. She is seeking attention from another man, maybe because she doesn't feel this attention from her husband. BUT, she is playing with fire when it is her husband's boss. I would tell her she better think good and hard about what she is doing and the havoc she has now created. There is no turning back now. If her husband finds out, they are all up a creek without a paddle!

[annie24]

I agree with DN, fairie16, and wildchild! (This is turning into a chain letter!) She has put you into a bad position. Be firm, tell her to stop it, and don't help her cheat on her husband. Don't tell her husband about the affair, but don't let her use you as an excuse to cover up her affair! ie, if she says, "can you tell my husband that you and I were shopping this afternoon?" (if she was out messing around with the boss), say, "no - I will not lie."

[WildChild]

I agree with DN, fairie16, and wildchild! (This is turning into a chain letter!)

 

LOL LOL Well, so far all four of our advice is a consensus.

[annie24]

Tell her she is cheating even if she is not going all the way. She is betraying her husband and jeopardising his marriage, his job and his happiness. There is absolutely no excuse for her behaviour and she should grow up, concentrate on her marriage and if her husband ever decides to find another job do nothing to discourage him.

 

Yeah! You may want to point out to your friend that if things should ever go south between her and her husband's boss, he may find a superficial reason to fire the husband as punishment to her! Is she ready to sacrifice her husband's career for her selfish pleasure?

[ShySoul]

Was this an isolated incident or has it become a regular thing? If it was just that one time then it isn't as bad, though still bad. But if it has happened since then she seriously needs to address this issue as it is going to completely hurt the marriage.

 

Either way, the husband needs to know. If you say he probably won't believe you. Which is why you need to convince her to tell him, by appealing to her love for her husband and sense of morals. Don't condemn her or look down on her, be supportive and understanding. Say it was wrong and he needs to know about it.

 

Also, the husband may find it troubling that this is the guy he is working for. If he would mess around with an employee's wife, what does that say for his ethics? The husband may wish to find a new job he is more comfortable with. And is there anything that can be used against him? His actions shouldn't go unpunished or unnoticed.