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Advice needed!

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My boyfriend is really going through a difficult time right now. He is having car trouble which is effecting his job, which is effecting his income and he is just really down lately which is effecting out relationship. He is feeling liek he is disappointing me. I am always there for him and he knows it, but I want to do something special for him. If anyone has any ideas of romantic things I can do for this weekend to get his mind off of EVERYTHING please help me out. thank you!!

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Since your boyfriend is feeling inadequate, let HIM do something for YOU. Ask him to help you with something you need help with. This could be rearranging your room/house, fixing something around the house, helping you make your slow computer run better, or anything that you know he can do and do well.

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Well there are so many things you can do. What works best will depend on his personality. He sounds like he really needs to relax and totally forget about the pressure in the outside world.


One idea:


If he's really stressed you can make him a nice meal (I personally hate cooking with a passion- but even I'll do this for my hubby when he's stressed)


After the meal give him a really long massage. Massage releases stress and tension in the body and mind. Full body massage is the ultimate stress release. It's best if the room is warm, you light candles, and use oil...play tranquil music if you'd like. It does not have to turn sexual- but it can if you both want it to, but if so- save any sex for the end, because you'll want him to enjoy relaxation for a while.


When a person is stressed they tend to hold the most tension in their head and neck, and shoulders, so really focus on those areas. Don't forget the hands and fingertips either. Men are usually not used to being pampered in this way- so you can really send him to heaven and fill him with a peaceful feeling, if he's relaxed/comfortable enough to let you..


Good luck,



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Go rent or purchase the movie "The Gift of the Magi". It is a wonderful story that emotes a message like no other. I would some it up as "It's not what you can give someone, it's what your willing to give up in order to give." This is a tough time of the year to be struggling financially and many are in the same boat as your BF. Let him know that you are with him because of who he is not because of what he earns. Spending money on him may make him feel worse, write him a poem. Let him hear, see, feel and touch your words. Find that movie, I'm telling you the message will stick with you for the rest of your life. Good Luck.

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Something simple to get his mind off of stresses.

Let's incorporate some ideas from other posters:


RC's - You could rent a movie, and just spend a night with him, cuddling up and watching a movie.


BD - A meal and a massage - sounds great to me, too.


Chai - Let him help out with some things, and just generally spend time doing things together; so as he feels that he is helping you out, too, which in turn would boost his feelings of inadequacy.


Whatever you decide to do - enjoy!

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Relationship Coach, I haven't seen the movie, but I read the short story. You are right, that message does stick with you.


pklove21403, it doesn't have to be anything big or special. It could just be a romantic night out at your favorite restaurant, followed by a luxurous bath (for two ), and um.... a game of scrabble. Well, I think you know what I mean, I just wanted to keep it clean on the board. Basically, you want to help relieve the stress, and to make sure he knows you love him and appreciate all he does for you.

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