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i saw my highschool mates on myspace

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And, they're all doing well. Most of them have careers in music, (the popular, more sociable career) while I am furthest away from what they're doing (construction) and to make matters worst I will be leaving my city to move somewhere else (so that I can finish my education, get a good career and then move back home in X amount of years).


Anyways, I saw that myspace had a page for my highschool alumni, and I decided to browse through it. The result: I now feel regretful that I didn't take advantage of the golden opportunity back then in highschool to make friends and social networks for the future. Has anyone felt this way?

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I have always been a quiet person, unfortunately that's my flaw. In elementary school I wasn't the one who was genuinely curious to know about the other kids in my class, or interested in starting a game of four-square with some kids that I wanted to know. And I was always in denial about my loneliness, which is why the thought about going to a social counselor or a psychiatrist never entered my young, stupid mind. My parents wanted me to go, (especially since I had temper tantrums for no reason) but I never followed up.


My loner attitude in childhood was prevalent in any type of social environment my parents introduced me to (because they hoped that somehow I would make strong friends with other kids). Middle school was worse because I was ignored by many kids, AND got into fights. I was a nerd, and treated like one. This continued into highschool.


Except that in highschool, everyone was more mature about my "nerdish quiet personality". People ignored me because they were more interested in their own cliques or people who they liked from other cliques. Yet, they were nice. In fact, my social environment in highschool was hospitable and I didn't even know it! I don't know how but back then I wasn't aware that keeping to myself would be detrimental to my four year experience in highschool. The others knew.. every guy and girl who wasn't in a relationship was either on the football team or in some "signature" group (the drama crew, the AP classes clique, the backpack hip hoppers, e.t.c.)


I also wasn't aware that there were people who WERE JUST LIKE ME. I could've made some friends in the engineering club..who actually did alot of fun things together that had nothing to do with building robots and transistors.

I'm quite sure that if I had showed a little interest in other people, become more adventurous, talked a little more, then maybe I would've ended up with a few good friends from highschool. But, I have none.

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So where does this leave me?


I'm still in my twenties, still young and I look forward to going to school full-time so that I can literally start my social life over. From ground zero. One thing I learned from community college is that 95% of the time you won't make life-long friends like you would in highschool or staying as a resident at a 4 year college.


In the meantime I can only feel helpless when I see that a former classmate's Myspace page is crammed with positive comments from long-time friends and associates..such as "happy holidays" or "that performance was really cool last Thursday!" Those people are living their lives along with an extended family of friends who still stay in touch with them constantly.


One goal of mine is to try to stay in touch with people..harder than it seems though. But for potential friends or associates it's important that I do it. Ultimately I look forward to the day when I finally by accident meet up with someone from highschool who used to have all these misconceptions about me, (thanks to my lack of socializing) and hopefully some cool will come out of it. I'm sure that will bring me peace.

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If it makes you feel any better, I was fairly popular in HS and had lots of good friends. However, I've moved away to University, and I only keep in contact with a handful of people from HS...and it hasn't even been a year since I've been gone.


Long story short...high school friends aren't all they're cracked up to be, and many relationships from HS don't last anyways. They tend to be very superficial in alot of cases. Make friends now, and learn from your perceived mistake of not meeting more friends earlier

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