His gran just die what do i do?

[sazzle]

I met a lovely man a few weeks ago. The problem is we have not had much time to see each other because we have both been busy. Then the worst thing happened and his grandma died. I knew she was ill and text him each day to offer my support and help. I did not hear from him and asked him if he wanted to leave the relationship. He said that we are over cos he just needs to be with his family right now and cant be in a relationship in the foreseeable future. What should I do? I offered my help and said stay in touch. I like him so much and want him back when things are better for him.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Hi Sazzle

 

I think you did the right thing. He needs time to grieve and needs the support of his family and close friends.

 

Offering your support is the best you can do until he is ready to approach you again. It is immensely painful to lose someone you love and not something that you just get over, but be patient, and make sure that he knows you are there for him.

 

Until such a time as he is ready to start something with you, I guess you'll need to be patient and respect his request for space.

 

I hope this helps, and sorry it's not the advice you want to hear!

 

~Seren~

[annie24]

I dunno.... you've had some problems with him that you posted recently about, haven't you? I don't want to be harsh, but I think he gave you the kiss off. Think about it - if someone close to you died, wouldn't you just want to cry in the arms of your boyfriend? Well, it depends on person to person - everyone grieves differently.

 

I think if he were crazy about you, he would have said that he needed to take a break from the relationship for a few weeks, but then would be back after an initial grieving period.

 

That his grandmother died, and he decided just to break up with you... it sounds to me like a "he's just not that into you" excuse. Sorry.

 

You two only dated for a few weeks, right? That's really early in a relationship. People are still figuring out their feelings for one another, or if they even want to keep dating. And you wrote that earlier post about how you came on too strong "in the beginning" and pushed him away. Well - a few weeks is the beginning. I think this grandmother thing is just an excuse to break contact with you.

 

I'd move on. Don't contact him. If he realizes he's made a huge mistake, he knows how to reach you. You've already offered your support, and if he just wants that, he can find you also.

 

good luck

[WildChild]

I have to agree with Annie on this one. I know you really like him, but there are some factors from your other posts that may have helped put the final nail in. You offered your condolences and support should he need it. But given the whole pushing to see him when he dislocated his shoulder, I think if you push things further this time around given his grandma died, you will come accross as the person you were sorry you came accross as last time...ya know what I mean?

[Mun]

I wondered one thing, because you said you texted him every day, would he respond to the texts..or call you back?

 

I agree with the others, it's time to move on.

[Bethany]

Respect his wishes, he really does need to be with his family. His Gran dying is ALL he can think about right now and he needs to support his Mum, Dad and close family.

 

And I hate to say this but you are the last thing on his mind so leave him be.

[sazzle]

Thanks for your replies. I agree with what your saying about giving him space. I dont think it was an excuse not to see me. We were both really into each other. He was crazy about me. We only dated a few times so I understand I am the last thing on his mind at the moment. Its too soon in the relationship for me to be around when he just wants to be with his family. I just dont understand why he broke it off completely. On Sunday morning he text me about 20 times telling me how much he liked me and missed not seeing me. He was going to come over that day until his gran took a turn for the worse. I did actually ask him what he wanted to do, whether he wanted to call it off and he said he needs to be with his family right now and cant see a relationship happening in the foreseeable future.

[annie24]

You two really didn't date each other very long. You said that things went "downhill" after a few dates.

 

Let me tell you - I've been in your shoes before. You really don't know him well enough to know what's going on. It may not even have anything to do with you! He may have met someone new. Maybe his ex-gf that he's been madly in love with for the last 2 years decided to come back to him last week. Or, maybe his female friend that he's secretly been crushing on for 3 years finally kissed him this week.

 

You just never know what happened. There are a million explanations.

 

I personally don't trust the grandmother thing. Mun knows this - I met a guy over the summer, who suddenly started acting strange, said his grandmother was very ill... It really kind of sounds like, "My dog ate my homework."

 

Of course, this man's grandmother could have really died, but he may just be using that as an excuse to stop calling you.

 

No matter what - I really think this issue is more about him than it is about you. I say - go back to meeting more men. You'll find one who's feelings don't fade after 3 dates