I feel tempted to call her but...

[patience]

...I'm smarter than that! So I'm going to hang out and post here instead!

 

I hate these moments! About once or twice a week I get this strong urge to call, and I have to restrain myself from caving in.

[lunatic]

Suck it up and tell yourself that you are NOT going to call. Do something that gets your mind off her and you may lose the impulse to call her.

 

Stay strong you CAN DO THIS!!!!

[patience]

Calling her isn't going to change anything. If she wanted to talk with me, she'd call. If she was willing to work on things, she would contact me.

 

The part of me that is still 'attached' to her still longs for her sometimes. Even though I know better, that attachment still lingers. I have to keep up with the NC so that I let go. Contacting her would be like betraying my own well-being. I just can't do that to myself anymore.

 

This woman does not love me (or at least not enough) and she isn't interested in a relationship unless it is solely on her terms. I cannot abide by that. I deserve better. I know that I deserve better...we all do!

 

It still baffles me how people toy with other people's feelings so tritely!

[patience]

I won't call. It's just a temptation. The impuse will fade if I stay focused on me. I am learning how to resist!

 

Thanks hubman.

[moondog627]

Same here. Especially since I never got closure (which still bothers me somewhat). But I'm not about to break over 3 months of NC. She doesn't deserve to hear my voice again.

[patience]

Wow! Three months! Good for you!

 

I don't have closure either. I have to find my own closure somehow without talking with her. It's tough sometimes, because I come up with all of these possible scenarios, and I wonder what the truth is. Not knowing the truth is the worst part really...at least for me it is.

[moondog627]

Yup, and in all honesty that 3 months feels like 3 decades. It hasn't been fun. Part of me wants closure because I actually strive on constructive criticism. I'd like to know what EXACTLY it was that made her fall out of love with me so I can improve for the future. But after much reflection I realized that love should never be this difficult. There is someone out there that will love all of us, faults and all. So while it does distress me somewhat to not know the truth, the simple truth that she no longer wants to be with me anymore is closure enough.

[lunatic]

I can tell you from experience that sometimes it is better not knowing. Sometimes curiosity does actually kill the cat.

[novaseeker]

Yeah my ex and I had a bunch of communication right at the time of the breakup and shortly thereafter where each of us was able to clarify the whys and wherefores ... not in all the gory details, of course, but the broad strokes and enough detail to provide some understanding. It was useful at the time, but it certainly is not worth breaking NC over at all.

 

Think of it this way: every time you break NC, you will hurt yourself and set yourself back. The memories will come flooding back, the pain will come flooding back and for a little while at least you will be back where you were feeling before you started NC, and that just isn't worth it. I have blocked my ex on all the internet communications we used to use. He did call me once about 10 days ago and I didn't answer the phone, but just the fact that he called was irritating enough from the perspective of NC ... but I'm not changing my number. I doubt he will call again for a while. But aty the end of the day you have to remember that you are in charge of your own life and your own NC, and you can exercise that power to help yourself heal and move forward.

[lunatic]

Thats because NC is a tool for you to TAKE CONTROL back from the ex. Good for you stick with it and you will one day look back at this time and shake your head about the whole thing.