confused about what is going on

[Blue Skittles]

Really, I have no reason to be confused. He likes me, and I like him. Its obvious, I mean, we've shared a lot of good conversations together, hes a very nice guy, and lately the way things have been going, well, i mean we give each other hugs a lot, not just a quick hug, but like a long embrace, he holds me, and i feel secure, and i feel a lot of chemistry, that i've never felt with ANYONE else before. We've gone out a couple times, we haven't had the first kiss yet (i'm kinda scared to initiate that), and he always tells me how wonderful of a person i am, and i feel the same way about him. He messages me in the morning to tell me to have a good day, that kind of stuff...

 

So, why I am I confused. Well, for one, we are both busy people. There is no time for us to see each other! We have opposite schedules, honestly, the only time it could ever work is if i meet him for a couple hours in the morning and I've done that, nights are never good, we just don't have time for each other, plain and simple. Secondly, I'm not used to things moving so slow, the last few guys i've been with it moved really fast, and I'm ok with things moving slow, I'd like it better that way, but it makes it confusing on my end. Thirdly, I don't know how he feels about me, does he just want some 'action'? (I don't see him being that type of guy but i guess its possible). Or a good friend? or a potential relationship? Who knows.

 

The thing is, I think I'm really falling for him. And I have so many (well not a lot) but some other guys interested in me, and I just don't care, all i can think about is HIM... The last time I got this excited over a guy was in 8th grade. lol Before that things just kinda happened. Now, its all of a sudden exciting again. I get so excited when he calls, or when he messages me, when he stops in to see me, that kinda stuff. And when he doesn't, i get so disappointed i feel like my depression starts to kick in again. I don't know what the HECK is wrong with me.

 

I dunno, so I'm trying to take things slow. I try to step back and let things happen.. i dunno, he message me twice today and I message him and told him to call tonite if he is not busy, but, no call tonight.. and i really want to talk to him, i have so much to tell him, but i don't wanna call cuz i don't wanna bother him.. ya know? I told you, I'm going insane.

 

A friend of mine gave me some good advice last night and he said to just appreciate things going slow cuz that means there is always something to be excited about. He also told me, that too much contact is a bad thing, cuz he might get tired of me. He also told me that once a relationship progresses into a relationship, what happens, after a few months it is boring. And so its good that this is happening.

 

Its just making me sick. See, a very big part of me wants to put an end to what is going on cuz I don't like having these feelings over a guy, its JUST A GUY, and i'd rather not put myself through being hurt later. I'm very afraid to get hurt. I'd rather be alone. I think maybe tomorrow I will talk to him and tell him we cannot continue to see each other anymore, and just put an end to this, and honestly, I am fine with being alone for the rest of my life, i think it would be a better life. At least i wouldn't have the pain of having a reltaionship or a marriage to work on. Most nights, i just lay down and listen to my music and cry, because I don't know where my life is going, and it seems like it is spun to the point of where i was at 2 years ago, with the suicide and all that. I dunno though, its all not just over this guy, its over A LOT Of things in my life, career, where i want to live, a lot of tough decisions right now.

 

Well, thats about it... sorry for all the venting, i'm just tired, and its hard to find good people to talk to nowadays. I'm really depressed.

[darkblue]

Hey blueskittles,

 

Really, truly and honestly - you are making too much of a big deal out of this. You got it spot on when you said "He's just a guy!".

But you cannot control your feelings.

 

You are having fun when you are with him, so have fun!

This is the fun phase, with electricity, passion, confusion over intentions, etc.

It won't always be like this - so make the most out of it

 

I think, the main point here is to see what his intentions are.

You say that you don't think he is the kind of person who just wants 'that' - then don't be worried about it. Trust your intuition.

 

I know you have been hurt in the past - but this is new, fresh and untainted. Treat it like that.

 

You are both two busy people. That is obviously going to play a role in how much you can see each other.

Set out as much time as you can to see each other.

Plan in advance, and make them special days.

Build up that excitement - and for God sakes, Kiss Him!!

 

He is a very busy man, but takes time to message you!

Takes time to call you!

Takes time to see you!

 

Make room for a man, in your cat-filled-life

 

P.S. I never did get that email - remember that I'm always here, and I check my emails religiously

Take care.