How to tell if a guy is gay.

[bellasella]

hey thanks guys for your really quick replies i appreciate it!

 

yeah well me and that guy are kinda awkward friends..we say hi to each other but i dunno if ill ever get to be alone with him.

 

Id also just wanna ask the same question again..i know it doesnt matter if ur gay/bi/straight but is thinking another guy is good looking gay?? Like i stare at them for a while then as soon as they look bak i look away. Im not shy i just think its weird.

 

well im goin to a party this saturday night and that guy will be there soo any tips?? lol

 

also there is another guy(soz for all the questions) but weve been friends for years and i always wondered if he was gay. we do drama together and work out together and i always catch him staring at me and when he invited me over to his place he made some game up to wrestle?? and when he did it wasnt rough just more like us rolling round touching each other i thought it was pretty weird but went along with it awkwardly. i spose i enjoyed it cus i got to touch him.

 

also when im standin up acting he kisses the air while looking at me...he always acts like hes joking but then sometimes he doesnt laugh when he does it.

 

he also makes constant jokes about me and him doing stuff together like "i want ur babies" or "hey..lets go in that bush and have sex" and he always laughs after it...but he makes these jokes like every day ALL day!

 

 

 

[l9grl]

In June, there are lots of lgbtq pride events all over North America. Check to see what is going on in your area, and go! Get out there and meet your lgbtq community.

 

You do not have to be gay to go to pride events either - plenty of supportive and 'curious' people go. Family and friends are very welcome to attend!

 

You could invite people to go with you, especially people you think may be lgbtq themselves.

 

This is a great way to meet people - and to freely and safely express who you really are!

[ramcoro]

Ok well everyone else has been putting their problems on here so why not me? Well im 15 and gay theres a boy that i really like but ,like all the rest of you, i dont if he likes me back. i met him in the beginning of this school year but started getting close to him in the past couple months. He is in my biology class and lunch, but thats it. i have been giving him "hints" that i like him for a while now, like i've told him constantly that his hair is cute(he smiles at me), whenever he is gone from school i tell him that i missed him the next day , and we write notes all the time in bio and one time he asked me for lunch money and i told him that he is lucky that i love him! and he smiled. And at lunch we are always staring at each other its like we are having conversations in out heads.HIS friends (not mine) are always making jokes as if something is going on between us. When they say something he always looks at me seriously and i just shrug it off. One time i went over to his house he was looking at my ipod and then i said something stupid and he looked me straight into the eye and seriously asked me if i was gay and i said no and that was the end of that conversation. We then went out and played with his friends and i kinda sucked at it but he was always defending me and making excuses for me. I just don't know what to do can somebody help me?

[chiefoptimizer]

I've had somebody with similar "meaningful glances" that turned out to be either he's playful or just my imagination. His friends also always called me "B...'s 'friend'", putting a lot of emphasis on the friend bit, which was meant to sound like we were a couple.

 

BUT: He actually asked you if you were gay? That's very interesting, and makes this worth pursuing. Keep in mind he may be questioning his sexuality himself, and may eventually find out that he is straight afterall, and this was just a phase. For this reason, you need to be careful in what you say, just in case it turns him against you.

 

Take him out soon, and tell him you want to talk about something. Tell him, "You know, about the other day, when you asked me if I was gay...", "yeah?" "I think I lied...". It may progress from there, and if he turns out to be straight, and somehow homophobic, later on you can always say you were not sure, and jusat wanted to talk about it with someone. In that case, you wouldn't really want to be his friend anyway.

 

But it sounds like he might be too, or he realises you are and doesn't mind. Just tell him

[ramcoro]

I really cant see me just saying that so clear and blunt and if he does know that i am gay doesn't that pretty much mean he is gay? Because if he know that i am that i would be clear that i am gay for him and why would straight guy knowingly let a gay guy ,that is clearly gay for him, in his house when we are all alone? And i am so sure that he is gay just not sure if he is gay for me

[chiefoptimizer]

I really cant see me just saying that so clear and blunt and if he does know that i am gay doesn't that pretty much mean he is gay? Because if he know that i am that i would be clear that i am gay for him and why would straight guy knowingly let a gay guy ,that is clearly gay for him, in his house when we are all alone? And i am so sure that he is gay just not sure if he is gay for me

 

I'm not sure what you mean by "gay for him", "gay for me", you mean if he likes you?

[ramcoro]

Yea i meant like if he knew that i was gay then it would be clear that i liked him (as more then a friend) and if he knew that, why would he still stick around with me for any other reason then him wanting to be with me? (again as more then a friend)

[chiefoptimizer]

Yea i meant like if he knew that i was gay then it would be clear that i liked him (as more then a friend) and if he knew that, why would he still stick around with me for any other reason then him wanting to be with me? (again as more then a friend)

 

In fact, sexuality is not clearly defined as straight or gay for a lot of people. Some of us know for sure we're one or the other, but a lot of men struggle with the idea of being straight and still wanting some kind of physical contact with others of the same gender (which I think leads Those Who Must Not Be Named to think homosexuality is a sin).

 

My point is, the only way to know for sure is to ask him. At some point you'll have to choose between loving him in secret and him never realizing it, but you'll never get any closer than "very good friends", and telling him so that you have a chance, but risking losing him.

 

Don't tell him you like him at first. You should find out if he's gay, or come out to him, but leave romantic feelings out of it at first. Good luck, I know it's a tough thing...

[ramcoro]

Do you have like any suggestions as to how to come on to him or give him hints that i am gay without saying the words "I'm gay!" like ... i don't know certain things to do and if he doesn't get turned off by what i do then go further?

[BluePanda]

Well I'm in a similar situation. It definitely is difficult to be subtle about it. You need to be discreet enough for him to think nothing of it if he isn't interested. This is sneaky and manipulative so if you don't want to follow this method then I suggest pulling him aside and telling him the truth, after you've gotten close to him of course. As another poster said the situation really is a catch 22. You tell him and you risk losing his friendship, but you also have a lot to gain even if he doesn't swing your way. It can help you get closure if he knows since it won't be a secret anymore, plus you can go about telling him you need space for recuperation.

 

You can try many things. Look at him in the eyes for longer than what is normally expected and study his reaction. Friendly pats on the shoulder are always welcome and don't seem suspicious. Ask if he has a girlfriend. If not, ask why. Inquire about past girlfriends. Try to get his opinion on gay relationships in a casual manner.

[chiefoptimizer]

Do you have like any suggestions as to how to come on to him or give him hints that i am gay without saying the words "I'm gay!" like ... i don't know certain things to do and if he doesn't get turned off by what i do then go further?

 

Tell him all about your (imaginary) gay uncle. If you find out he's also gay or at least very gay friendly, you can then come out to him, and also tell him you lied about the uncle, because you didn't want to lose his friendship and still wanted to tell him.

 

edit: Another thing that gets the job done very quickly:

You: "Hey, you never told me, do you have a girlfriend?"

Him: "Yes" (the end.), or "No"

You: "Did you have one before?"

 

Him: Either: "Yes, but we broke up" - You "ooh, I'm sorry, what happened?"

or: "No, I;ve never had one."

You (smiling, and small laugh): "Oh, do you have a boyfriend then?" (as if in a teasing way)

 

He would either tell you "nah, I'm not gay" or "I don't swing that way", or maybe he will get very shy, and maybe blush...or who knows, he will come out to you

[ramcoro]

Well i know for sure that he has never had a girlfriend (Which is so weird because he is so good looking!) I asked him why one time and he told me that "i get shy around girls" and that was the end of that. But he wont let me come over to his house again his excuse is that he just wants to be alone ,or he doesn't want to do anything other then play on his computer. Then he asks me why do i want to come over and i just say "because it will be fun!" But the thing is I do have a girlfriend and he knows that do you think that she is the problem?

[chiefoptimizer]

But the thing is I do have a girlfriend

 

I thought you were gay?

[ramcoro]

I am gay but i only have a girlfriend because thats just the "normal" thing to do in high school

[ionZero]

I am gay but i only have a girlfriend because thats just the "normal" thing to do in high school

 

I think as long as you have a girlfriend then he will assume you're straight. You've said you think he could be gay, etc.; maybe he is attracted to you but believes you're straight because you're attached.

 

Besides, if you're gay, I don't really think it's fair to the girl you're with.

 

I think if you want to make any more progress with this guy then your girlfriend needs to be out of the picture. It would probably be better for both of you (possibly all three!

[ramcoro]

Your probably right because when he did ask if i was gay i told him "please i have a girlfriend" and he said "yea I'm starting to doubt that now!" then i just shrugged it off ... but other then the whole girlfriend thing do you think that it could work out?

[chiefoptimizer]

I think as long as you have a girlfriend then he will assume you're straight. You've said you think he could be gay, etc.; maybe he is attracted to you but believes you're straight because you're attached.

 

Besides, if you're gay, I don't really think it's fair to the girl you're with.

 

I think if you want to make any more progress with this guy then your girlfriend needs to be out of the picture. It would probably be better for both of you (possibly all three!

 

Need I say more?

[ramcoro]

No i know that havin a girlfriend was the wrong chioce and i did brake up with her but what i meant was what do i do NOW because im still confused

[chiefoptimizer]

No i know that havin a girlfriend was the wrong chioce and i did brake up with her but what i meant was what do i do NOW because im still confused

 

erm... you said he showed interest in you, right? are you guys still meeting? alone or with friends? ask him out to lunch someday maybe?

[ramcoro]

We are always with his friends and thats the thing when i ask him to hang out he always says "no there will be nothing for us to do" and he always acts differently around his friends.

[bostonbruins24]

That's a million dollar question.

 

It is never the same for each gay individual. There are no symptomatic giveaways, despite the popularly perceived stereotypes illustrating gay men as effeminate, flamboyant and mincing and gay women as butchy and man-hating.

 

The bulk of gay men are very much ordinary looking individuals indistinguishable from any other guy. You'll get become more adept at figuring this out as you come accross more and more gay people. Good Luck.

I don't agree with this.I am not making a judgement,I don't particularly care if someone is gay or not but I can usually suspect that a guy is gay by the way he acts.

[jimmyvanbeck]

well put yourself in his situation.

 

He might be a different kind of person, like me.

 

Recently i wuz supposed to go to the movies with 3 friends, one being the guy i like. One of them said they they prolly weren't gonna go after all so i didn't really want to go because he is the closest of the friends to me and i don't even like him, and yes i do like the other guy that was going but i just don't really like the idea of us hanging out because of exactly the same reason the guy you like gave you.

 

So don't let that worry you too much.

 

Your situation is hard to figure out (by the way i'm in a similar situation). Let's see, his smile, how does it look to you? I mean, can you read what it says or expresses? and what color are his eyes? are they light? cuz you could try the pupil trick.

[ramcoro]

His eyes are so dark its so hard to tell. But every time he just stands there do nothing he would smile when i start talking or i don't know ... i have had my friends tell me that we look cute together because when we walk together we are always smiling at each other.

[folie_a_deux]

excuse me, but where did the guy who started the thread go?

[1WayTicket2Norway]

some threads die after a couple of months, or even days, because OP's don't return, or they have moved on. you can't expect them to run forever... besides, this is a really old thread.