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Is there a reason...?


fae
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I wanted to ask if there is a reason a guy who likes you start ignoring/avoiding you all of a sudden? For example the guy tries to not contact you so you contact him and when you do he keeps the convos short like "yea" "ok" and the thing is he isn't busy or anything and he's talking to everyone else but not me, and he can't be mad at me because I don't think I did anything wrong so is he playing hard to get? waiting for me to make a move or something? what do you guys think.

 

I forgot to mention... his friend asked me if I wanted to be more than friends because the guy likes me and well I never really said yes or no and when we hang out me and him we're both shy and I don't really show that I'm wanting anything more than being friends.

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ok this is my story... i have this crush on a friend which has lasted 3 years, and at times i get so sick of always thinking about him, and wondering if he likes me and all that stuff, that during the christmas break, i all of a sudden stopped talking to him... only to stop loving him.... if he called, i wouldnt answer, if he smsed me i wouldnt reply, if he e-mailed me i wouldnt answer, if i saw him down the street, i would walk the other way... i only did this to strengthen my heart, and to try and stop loving him... maybe he is doing that to you, maybe he wants to keep the friendship but cant if he loves you... i wouldnt take it personally, wait a couple of weeks and send an e-mail or call him and say "lets catch up" go have a coffee and just take the friendship from there... do u like him??? maybe you should tell him if u do

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First, how do you know he likes you? Did he come out and say it? Did he initiate conversation with you and such things that seem like interest? Or is it just an assumption?

 

I was in a similar situation with a woman for a few days. For the life of me I cannot figure it out, we both started conversation, it was going over well. Out of the blue she kept things short and sweet if any conversation at all and tried avoiding me. Then when I withdrew my attempts to socialize as much, she came back and started to show interest again.

 

It may very well be they're individuals which believe in hard to get and see how they can push their limits. Could be a period of deciding just how far to push and if there truly is enough interest to pursue it farther. I'm not sure myself, but I think if he is ignoring you and you're trying hard to contact him, stop. Unfortunately, he may just need a rude wake up call that you're not going to play the game and he is hitting a nerve should he be interested. There is a multitude of possibilities that could be going on, I've only named a couple. You can really only cut off your contact and let him come to you in this case if he won't put any effort forth. If he is really interested, most likely he'll approach you again.

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if he's no longer interested then couldn't he at least talk to me as a friend? I don't know I just feel he's avoiding me for some reason, I never did reply if I wanted to stay friends or be more than friends when his friend asked me for him... and when we hang out we're both shy and I don't really show that I'm interested in being more than friends with him.

 

I do like this guy so I'm just wondering why hes ignoring me.

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It could possibly be that if you haven't already answered him he assumes you just want to be friends. I've known men here and there that will walk away from a friendship and try to break off contact just because they know they will never feel just friendly feelings towards the other person. So in their mind it is to avoid the pain of having to be around and having feelings and possible complications resulting from non-mutual interest.

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Well I will tell you first hand that a lot of men (not all) do play games. This to me is such a turn off that the first sign of a game from a man would have me running for the nearest exit. Also don't always trust things that his friends say. Friends sometimes don't want to hurt your feelings so they add stuff and make up a bunch of things to make you think "ohhh he likes me" and it turns out..he didnt. I would not sweat this guy. In fact..i'd move on to someone who didnt have to play immature games to get my attention. Trust me, this is not the kind of guy you want to date. Eventually if you ever did nail a chance with him, his playing games would get on your nerves.

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wow thats insane. This is almost exactly the same thing i'm doing to this girl. I'm not playing hard to get or anything, but i just don't want to push it with her. It would also help if she did make a move because i already made mine. So if hes like me, then i say talk to him.

 

whoa thats so funny...cuz some guy is doing exactly the same thing to me! he came on strong at first...then 3 days ago when i tried to talk to him he suddenly became cold and gave like one word answers....so i got scared and stopped talking to him....so ur saying u like this girl but u don't want to push it with her?? meaning you're interested but.....? and if she tries to talk to u why would u do that to her? what would u want the girl to do for you to go back to being super sweet again? lol im just trying to figure out the mentality of this guy whos doing exactly what u're doing.

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To fae, candieeeegirl and those who are trying to understand,

 

I think I can tell you something relevant albeit my story is with a girl. I'm interested in someone in class and getting some signs from her. For some time, I've been befriending her and taking the initiative in talking to her. The chemistry is good and we've always enjoyed the chats. But then she doesn't really show much signs from then on. I'm starting to get frustrated because it seems like things are not getting further and I don't want to push things with her. So she sort of leaves me hanging there midway. Now I have reached a point where I want to step back and let things cool off a bit. Just to see how things will turn out and stop myself from being frustrated.

 

Perhaps the guy you talked about is taking a step back because he's not getting enough assurance from you regarding your feelings for him. If this is the case, do try to ask him out for coffee and see how things go.

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