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Help!! I cant get over him!!


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I cant get over him... I broke up with him about 5 days ago now.

He and I were constantly fighting over sex. He wanted it, I hated it. I just never found it to be something I enjoyed. I didnt mind it, but I hated it when he started acting like he was gonna die without it. So, He basically said "Put out or Get out". He said that if I wasnt gonna let him "express" himself in that way, he would go out with someone else so he could. I am totally heart broken. I havent been able to eat or sleep since then. I find myself being very angry with him, and yet crying everynight for a good 3hrs. I just cant seem to find out how to stop thinking about him. I think of all our good times and I get very depressed. I try to keep myself busy so I dont think about him, but it doesnt work.

I find that when I am at school, I am okay. Even though he is in most of my classes. I feel like I am not going crazy when I see him. I feel like I am alright when I talk to him on my MSN Messenger or at school. I feel normal. But when i am at home in the evenings and I dont get my regular phone call, I am just devistated. I went out with him for about 2yrs. Not very long. but we spent a lot of time together and I always adored him. When we had sex we both enjoyed it until he started wanting it more and more. That was when I got sick and tired of it. Sex totally ruined our relationship and now, I hate it.

I dont know how I can keep my mind off him and accept that he is gone. He left me for sex. I feel like I am in a bad dream but I cant wake up. I feel like I am lost in dispar. A neverending spiral that just doesnt let me get up. my first boyfriend hit me all the time,and now my second made me choose between my happiness and his own. I had to do what made me happy, and yet. He made me happy. Sex didnt. so I lost in both ways. Sure I'm happy that I dont feel obligated to have sex, but I'm sad because I have been with this guy since I moved to this small little town and he was the only person keeping me here. Now I have to finish up my schooling and I want him to be around still. He is moving to Winnipeg and I probably wont ever see him again. I dont want that. I care about him and it wont go away. How can I get over the fact that we are not together anymore and how can I handle the fact that he is moving away? Help!!

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Well you have to accept that the two of you have become different. You shouldn't focus or feel bad because it was sex. Sex is very powerful. It can have great influence on alot of things. Feel good that he told you his feelings and not moving on to another to get sex while he was still with you. I noticed that you sad you hated it quite a bit. Do you really hate it? Are you sure that you just don't hate the idea of always conflicting to do it with him.

 

Perhaps you should talk to him about making the environment different or coming to a comprise about the sex. Two years is a long time to throw away. Are you married? Not being married can be another reason that you two are going through all of this. But knowing know what you are up against is a great thing.

 

Think things through and talk to him before your relationship is finalized. Good luck.

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  • 4 months later...

Yep, I am the guy that wanted the sex. She was my first, I am hers. When we lost our virginities to each other it was awesome. We are high school sweethearts and have made much mistakes. I think it all started because of sex. I think I became addicted to it. We were really enjoying it and it was erotic and amazing and I started to need it, i think. She began to feel that-that is all I wanted her for. This started a lot of fights. When she didn't want to, I began to get upset because I wanted to express myself in that way too. She felt that was all I wanted her for. I think things between us would be so great if we went to couples counseling and took care of this problem at the start but we didn't. I never had sex w/ anyone while we were together, but I kissed someone. I felt too guilty to want to have sex, but that is cheating anyways. She never found out until recently (it happened a year ago) because I finally told her. I feel like I am a little addicted to sex and that it ruined my life. I love her very much but I wish that we did something about it sooner. I'm sorry if this doesn't help, but I think you guys should get help if you both are still willing because I really wish we did.

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