please help, need advice to let someone go

[elements]

I was on this site looking through the 'break up' forum to see if there was Q's and A's to the topic of getting over someone. i found something that someone wrote and it really spoke to me. It said ----ok, well i want to get over this guy i like cause i care about him so much, but he doesnt want a relationship with me. I keep sleeping with him because i enjoy that with him sooo much BECAUSE of how MUCH i like and care about him. I actually have never wanted to try a relationship with someone so bad...so i take what i can get and i hook up with him here and there. I know im just gonna stay on this emotional rollercoaster UNLESS i do what the above says-cut off all contact!! Please help with advice, i want to know how and WHAT can i say to this guy that i really care about before i walk out of his life for good? I tried this once before, i told him that i like him so much, and i told him how great of a person i think he is and that i dont want to be mean but i cant talk to him anymore because it hurts me. He told me he'll keep calling me (because we are friends and we sometimes talk on the phone for hours-either that or we have sex) i told him i wouldnt answer the phone, so he just shouldnt call me anymore. he said he is not a good listener. well he called days later and i ACCIDENTLY picked up...swear to it. i answered my other line without looking at the caller id.....so we started talking again. i got weak when i heard his voice and he just is so great of a guy that i thought 'fine ill keep talkin to him cause its hurts so bad to NOT have him in my life-about the same as it hurts to be played by him. well now im at the point were i want to be strong and JUST DO IT. how though? i cant just IGNORE him, that is just NOT ME. what can i say to him to put closure to this? or maybe not closure but i just need to explain why i wont be his little toy anymore.

[smallworld]

Elements, I think you know deep down in your heart that this guy friend of yours isn't good for you. If NC is too hard for you right now then do the next best thing and cut off the sex. (The funny thing is I think you'll naturally find him calling a lot less if you do this.) Don't give in no matter what, because each time you do you'll know you'll just end up feeling more hurt and used (because he won't give you whatt you really want: a relationship.)

 

If he can handle being friends with you without the "benefits" then maybe you won't have to end the friendship. If he keeps pushing for more, NC is probably best. Turn of the phone ringer and let your answering machine take the messages. Stay out of the house, hang out with friends, and keep busy. Respect yourself and he'll respect you more too. Good luck!

[Gilgamesh]

If your having sex with him thinking he will somehow fall back in love with you, your very mistaken, he is getting everything he wants with no commitment, isnt that special? basically he is saying, hey girl, I dont want your mind, I dont want your love, and I dont want your dreams, all I want is your _bleep_ .

 

And this is the guy you love so much? someone that only wants your body part because its easy to get from you and he doesnt even have to buy you flowers, wow!

 

mean time since your his bed buddy, your not going to be approached by any decent guys anytime soon.

 

I have read your previous post, and I know you like the sex and all, but you know something, wouldnt it be better to have good sex with a man that respects you, loves you back, and treats you like a person and not a sperm bucket?

 

So here is a good plan, Stop the contact as soon as possible, that means ZERO sex or communication, tell him the free ride is closed down. ifyou get a lot of urges, buy a nice B.O.B. until you can get over this guy. Once you are completely over him, (could take months) then you could start looking for "decent guys", hopefully by then you will have thought back at how you were being used, and will detest any guys with similar traits.

[elements]

thanks guys!!! i really need help with what exactly to say on this "last" time we talk or the next time he calls. i dont want to just NOT answer or ever call him back. i want to sorta explain my dissappearance and HIS LOSS to him before i go, know what i mean?