Sex sex sex!!! is it all he wants?

[depends]

Hi, um im new to this but i really need to talk to some1.

Last night when i was talking to my boyfriend he was really quiet, and wouldnt tell me what was wrong, he kept saying nothing. We hung up then five mins later he called me saying his horney and was touching himself and thinking about us having sex.

 

We never have had sexal intercorse before, but we have done other things. (Ive havent had sexual intercourse yet with anyone)

This isnt the first time its happened, he always tells me that i make him horney and he constantly talks about sex and sexual activities.

When we first did anything, i lost my self-respect and i told him, he stoped for a few weeks but he still is at it.

On top of that he knows i've been sexually abused and still trys to pressure sexual activties on me.

 

Im starting to feel that he only wants sex, my last boyfriend was the same... Im not sure what to do, its like he doesnt want anything apart from sex.

 

I hope someone has some advice for me, im starting to loose it!!

 

Thanks for your help

[t-rav]

hey, no guy should pressure a girl into sexual intercourse. its not thoughtful of them. i may be turned on by a girl but i never pressure into anything uncomfortable for her. in my opinion, sex is something for marriage. that is what its all about. by having sex early you are taking away from what marriage is all about. personally i think you should tell him that him talking about it makes you uncomfortable. normally a guy will back off with a warning, if he doesnt though, then you need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible. a young girl shouldnt be in an abusive relationship, your lucky enough to have a choice.

 

make the right one

 

-travis

[depends]

thank u t-rav,

but the thing is i already have told him, he did back off for a few weeks but he is at it again!!

Does that mean he only wants sex? How do i get out of the realtionship, im scared he will tell people what we have done together and stuff.

[morethanyouthink]

hey thats not cool i see nuhin wrong w/ 2 ppl who really just want sex being together cuz then the relationship could just be about sex but if ur not cool with going there w/ him and he wont listen to you like he just wont leave you alone tell him that its not ok and if u really dont want to and he wont stop the only answer seem to be dump him i kno that would be hard but if ur relation ship isnt going neware else then find sum1 else who wont give u crap cuz of how u feel and if he spreads lies and rumors no one who care about u and trusts u shouldnt believe him

[depends]

Ok but if i dump him, he will tell people what we have done and i will look like a sl*t.

I dont want that image, and the things i did with him were pressured by him. This is really upsetting me.

[ravens_folly]

You most definitely should get out of this relationship. If he is back at it again, he will keep trying until he has gotten out of you what he wants, which is SEX, (it is, and that is all it is if he isnt respecting your wishes) and then he will drop you like yesterdays news or continue to do things that are disrespectful to you.

 

Just get out of the relationship and don't worry if he tells people what you did. He can't prove you did, no one knows, so just say its not true and that he is lying.

It is not worth your staying in the relationship to keep him quiet.

[morethanyouthink]

the fact that he would say sum stuff about u only shows how u need to end it if he wont stop and think if he wont stop and u ever do give in and then u break up the rumors will only be worse

[depends]

Thank u ravens_folly and morethanyouthink, Its making sense. I now need to work up the courage to break up with him...

Thank u again.

[morethanyouthink]

netime im glad sum1 took my advice instead of just disregarding what i have to say cuz im only 13

[Iceman26]

Sounds like you guys want different things. Hes ready for a physical relationship, and you aren't. Move on to someone who will share your same point of view.

[morethanyouthink]

if u dont mind me asking DEPENDS how old r u?

[depends]

morethanyouthink, im 19years of age.

Iceman26, Ur right, I guess thats the case with him. Thanxs.

[Fantasy_]

Stay strong, you honeslty dont need guyz like that. Your 19, you dont need excess bagage on her head, go out and have fun, enjoy your life. You will meet someone who wont treat you like that and as Iceman26 said, someone on the same level.

good luck!

[Tigris]

I understand what you are going through right now, because it happened to me. A man, who was old enough to be my grandad was trying to persuade me to do things I didn't want to do when I was 13!

 

From 13-16 I had a relationship with my boyfriend. The relationship was great until I got to 16. He was now 17 and was constantly trying to persuade me to have sex. Eventually, I became so uptight that I no longer wanted to be around him! My mind was working overtime! 'What happens if he forces himself on me? Am I strong enough to push him off?' By now he was a lot bigger in height and weight. In my mind I wouldn't have stood a chance! I couldn't deal with the situation anymore so I told him our relationship was over.

 

For me this was the safest option!

 

I'm still friends with him and his family now. Recently, we talked about that relationship. I told him that I'd felt under pressure that he'd wanted sex. He apologised for his immaturity, and said that he would never have forced me. I explained that it was because of my immaturity that we never talked about it.

 

My advice is to finish this relationship immediately.

 

I'm sure there's a lovely guy out there who'll be sensitive to your situation and will abide by your rules. Someone who's patient and wants you for more than just sex.

 

You're welcome to PM me anytime.

 

Good luck and take care.

[t-rav]

hey,if he wont leave you alone, its time to tell him to hit the road. this guy is a serious jerk. and on one of the last posts notes, guys are naturally stronger than girls (with a few exceptions). if you ever feel that a guy is into you for your parts you need to get rid of him. yeah, so we find the opposite sex attractive, but that doesnt mean that it has to lead to anything physical. i truly hope that the farthest i ever get with a girl before im married is a kiss. partners ought to be chosen by their personality rather than looks. looks have something to do with it but shouldnt be the main focus.

 

good luck still

 

-travis

[depends]

Yeh, you guys are all right!!! Thank you everyone!!! I guess the first and hardest step would be telling him i want out...

[playfull06]

If he is pressuring you to Have sex or to do sexual activities or anything that isn't the best boyfriend for you. You have a better respect for yourself and you demonstrated that by saying you didn't like it and for him to back off. Leave him, if he talks stuff then let him. Nothing you can change about that, but YOU will know the truth and anyone close to you will know it too. Be strong and just kick his sorry butt off to the side of the road. Good luck...

[depends]

thanxs playfull06... u put a smile on my face when u said 'Be strong and just kick his sorry butt off to the side of the road.' hehe

[Stari]

Your bf is doing nothing wrong by wanting to have sex with you. Do not attack his character because of this.

 

As well as saying that he is not respecting your wishes of not having sex it is equally true that you are not respecting his wishes of having it. Having sex is important to your bf while not having sex is important to you. You and your bf are not compatible.

 

You should both seek other partners.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Your bf is doing nothing wrong by wanting to have sex with you. Do not attack his character because of this.

 

As well as saying that he is not respecting your wishes of not having sex it is equally true that you are not respecting his wishes of having it. Having sex is important to your bf while not having sex is important to you. You and your bf are not compatible.

 

What? The guy is not listening to her and HE'S PRESSURING HER. He may be a gentleman in other respects or maybe this is out of character, but it's no stretch to say that this guy is not acting like a gentleman right now, that's for sure.

 

Your post gives the impression that just because they are dating, that she is obligated to give her body to him. Sex is never an obligation.

 

You were right on about seeking a different partner, but the tone of that post was just...how do I put this...unbelievable.

[t-rav]

what the hell???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

of course its wrong of him to expect sex. sex without both parties consent/agreement is rape, even if its just him pressuring her. while it may not be seen that way by society today, it is morality that counts in the long run. good luck in your future relationships.

 

-travis

 

life is like a garden, dig it. -my wonderful friend tyler greg

[apollocreed71]

Well, I feel safe to say men think about sex more than women. I cannot remember what research article I read about that. but I think in general it is true. The question is what to do if you do not want to have sex with a guy. then don't do it. Sex is relaxing, it is a release, and quite fankly event though women get horny, they do not have a woody, you know, hard on. they suck. no sex can lead to the end of a relationship, just the same as having it can also do the same. it all boils down to what type of relationship you have. If you have a strong belief in his character, etc, then it may be okay. but if it will hurt you mentally, then just end it. all in all, if you are not getting it at home, you will go elsewhere...thats just reality, and it works on both sides.

[t-rav]

it is a fact indeed that guys think more about sex. its the way we are wired. but that doesnt mean we should all just give in to temptation and lust. we have a role in leadership, but we shouldnt abuse it. girls trust in us, and i think it lowers their respect for a guy when he gives in to temptation. a true man, can resist and see a future, not just pleasure for the moment.

 

-travis

 

death is not the end, it is simply an eyeglass through which we see what the future holds for us.

[Stari]

good luck in your future relationships.

Thanks. I sleep better at night knowing that I have your blessing to fall back on.

[t-rav]

lol no problem. thats what im best at blessings. and its not that im good at that. lol. im just bad at everything else.

 

-trl