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HELP i WANT to ASK this GUY out

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so ive had my eye on a guy in college for about 2 months. I am very very attracted to him and i always joke with my friends saying "oh i saw my boy in the hall" "i want him he is sooo cute" i said all of this thinking that he is so good looking and proably gets hit on all the time and even thought im told im a very attractive girl....still.....i figured id never talk to him or get the chance to hang out, hook up, go out with, this guy. well the other day some classmates planned to meet at the bar and he was there. His roomate introduced him to me, i shook his hand and then kinda turned around to order my drink cause i was nervous. then he was still there but i didnt know what to say, i just couldnt believe he was right there by me!!! His roomate was buying me and my friends drinks and then he said that they were gonna leave cause they have class in the morning. i said, no u guys cant leave, the party just started!! they (he and the guy i like) agreed to stay a little longer and i talked for bit with the guy i like and he seemed interested, kept laughing and smiling when i was talkin to him. And he didnt like walk away or try to get away or anything....not that i thought he would but if im not interested in someone i find a reason to go to a diff spot in the bar, like ill take off to the bathroom or something. So i guess i didnt get a bad vibe or anything but i wouldnt say i got a real great one either. Now his roomate did mention that the guy i like is really shy and he doesnt drink a lot. well now that i met him i am gonna see him in school. we dont have a class together but i see him around the building. i want to ask him out sooooo bad. i want to get to know him and see what he is like. im not positve that he doesnt have a girlfriend but i dont think he does, cause i told him roomate that i thought his friend was really cute and then i said "dotn tell him!!!" he said he wouldnt. but i did it on purpose cause im sure he'll tell him and then that would be cool. well his roomate didnt say to back off or stay away, actually he was kinda telling me about him, like how hes shy and stuff. SO HOW DO I ASK THIS GUY OUT???!!! Im Really scared to ask him out cause ive never done that before but i guess im mostly scared about what he will think of ME asking HIM. i know some guys like it but he is shy and maybe ill freak him out. im afraid he'll think im desperate or weird or overly confident. that night i met him, a whole bunch of guys were talkin to me and flirting so im already wondering if he thinks im a "you know what" or a big flirt or player or something. Please help me with what to do or say. Ive considered asking him what his plans are for labor day (i have plans already) but just to see what type of stuff he does. then i figure after labor day weekend ill ask him during the week what he is doin for the weekend like if he has to study or what and then if there is an opportunity ill ask him out....i keep thinkin ill say 'wanna go out sometime?' but that is too vague. or "wanna go get coffee sometime?' but that seems boring and i was told he isnt a big drinker so i dont want to say lets meet up at a bar. usually that is what i do, ill say to a guy im going here, u should come meet up with me and my friends but what if he hates the bar scene? i did meet him at a bar but that is cause we were all there to meet eachother as like a school thing. im going on and on but i just need help on what to say!!!! and i dont want him to think im nuts!! if he is shy he might (????) think im crazy for askin him out, like if i were shy i would probably say NO just cause i would be scared. any opinions???

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Hi elements,



When I was in college, I was a lot like this guy you are describing. In fact, my first 2 girlfriends came from women hitting on me; I didn't really do anything to get them other than look attractive to them. Here is what I can say: if he doesn't have a girlfriend (sounds like he doesn't) and if you are as outgoing and attractive as it sounds like you are (and trust me, most guys do not have super model standards here... I'm sure you are good-looking enough), then I can almost guarantee that, unless he is gay, he will be more than happy to go out on a date with you. If you come up to him and ask him out, it is overwhelmingly likely he will say yes. At the very LEAST, he'll be flattered that an attractive girl like you wants him bad enough to go ask him out. You really have nothing to lose. Go for it.


The only other thing I would add is to just keep in mind how little you know about this guy. Now, I'm not sure what you're looking for (serious relationship, casual dating, etc.) but if you are looking for anything serious, it's gonna take a lot more than good looks (on both your parts) to sustain a healthy relationship. 'nuff said. Good luck.

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kept laughing and smiling when i was talkin to him
Good sign, he was probably nervous but happy you wanted to keep talking to him .


i know some guys like it but he is shy and maybe ill freak him out.
If your hot like you say, no way lol, unless he's a closet gay. A hot girl asking out a shyguy is like a dream to these type of guys lol.




im afraid he'll think im desperate or weird or overly confident.
Don't worry about it.


He's probably going to say yes anyway, it's just weird for a guy in college not to want to go out. Don't worry about it and ask him out for coffee.

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