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Hi folks,


I posted on this thread last October after I really bad break up with my ex.

He was pressuring me for sex when I wasnt ready. I basically gave in one day and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was physically painful and when I asked him to stop he barked "Either you do it or you don't!" He was very angry that we didnt go all the way so I broke up with him because frankly his behaviour scared me. He wasnt tender, patient or kind. I had never had sex before. I'll spare you the details but he was so rough during the act that he injured me up there. Stupid me felt guilty and thought the whole thing was my fault, so I tried to get back with him. But he blew me off, saying he would call but never did, called me "gorgeous" in his texts, then promised to call one night but sent me a mail instead saying he moving on and had met someone else. He was the one talking about marriage and kids only a month into the relationship,even though I kept imploring that we get to know each first before making such plans. I can't believe I didnt see this as a red flag. By the way we had only seen each other about 4 times at that point. We met over the internet and lived in different towns. I decided to start NC. I also had a feeling he was desperately looking for a wife would never contact me again.

Well since then I have met a fantastic guy that I love so much! We have been seeing each other for about 6 months and I am so crazy about him! I am so happy I waited for him to come into my life. I had a few issues about our sex life, ironically, but it's gotten better, because we both worked at it and he makes me so comfortable!

Last week guess who do I receive an e-mail from. My ex. He says he wants nothing from me but to know that I am ok and apologizes for what happened over 10 months ago. So I wrote him back a very short e-mail telling him how happy I am and ask him how he is doing. No response.

The point of my post is. I was in the darkest place after my break up with him but I resolved not to call him or contact him in anyway. It was hard but I started to focus on my life. I found a new job and moved to another town, where I met my current love. At the time I felt so sad and never thought I would recover, but I did and I am so happy. Getting an e-mail from my ex only reinforced that feeling. Why he contacted me I don't know. I want you guys out there who are hurting to know that you will get better. Take it from me! I am not some spectacular person, just an average gal from around the way. If I can do it so can you!!!!!!!!

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Thank you DoorMouse! Best wishes to you too!


I've just been reading all these posts and so many of the posters sound like me not so long ago. I want to stress that I am not happy only because I met a man I care about, but because I am happy with myself!!! I've proven many things to myself over the past few months! No one can truly make you happy, you make yourself happy guys. I know it seems so painful now, like you are physically ill and you want to get better but you feel like you can't. This isnt one of the those just get up and get it together pieces of advice, because there is no quick cure for how you feel. I just want you to know that you will get through this no matter how long it takes.

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Good for you!! It is always uplifting to see the positive posts! You lean on people and this forum when you need it, but ultimately, it is all YOU and you are a stronger, wiser person because of it!

I was just thinking about this very topic this weekend. Thinking to myself, " You never know what will happen as there are no guarantees in life. But I do know that I would be able to get through whatever happens." I thought back to what I have already been through in my life, as we all have, and realize that it always gets better.

Anyway - I am glad to hear that you are up and over!!! Good luck with the new man!!!

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