should I even care, at all?

[hockeyboy]

i think your assesment is a little drastic and quite a bit off. fact is she comes to me a lot and does not just hang out with me when it is "convenient" for her. Last week I was sick for example and she came over twice just to be with me and take care of me. Others called her to go out and she said no, she wanted to stay with me. I was also with her all weekend on a trip. She calls me as much as I call her and we're pretty much 50/50 on calling and asking eachother to do things.

[annie24]

I wouldn't really say it's true that a woman would bend over backwards to spend time with a man she liked. You know, stuff comes up. Work, friends in town, blah blah blah.

 

It seems like you two have a connection. Give her the benefit of the doubt. How would you react is a friend or casual acquaintace did this to you? You'd be a little annoyed, but you'd let it slide. But, if she starts doing this on a regular basis, you may want to reconsider your feelings for her.

 

good luck.

[Cecelius]

 

i think your assesment is a little drastic and quite a bit off. fact is she comes to me a lot and does not just hang out with me when it is "convenient" for her. Last week I was sick for example and she came over twice just to be with me and take care of me. Others called her to go out and she said no, she wanted to stay with me. I was also with her all weekend on a trip. She calls me as much as I call her and we're pretty much 50/50 on calling and asking eachother to do things.

 

Then what's the issue that's pushing you to post over this girl? If she's pretty much doing everything okay, I think you may be just overreacting to the times when she doesn't want to hang with you.

[hockeyboy]

well she just called and explained things to me. she apologized and now that i understand what was going on im fine with it and its all good.

[djedix]

ok but i'm not going to let this go...

 

Look what you did to yourself all morning.. look at what you posted.. Do you feel at all that you over reacted? do you feel kinda embarrassed/stupid the way you were talking this morning?

 

I'm just asking because when I freaked out infront of my friends over the last ex, i kinda made myself look like a giant {censored}.. and i felt really embarrassed. I kinda learned from all the times i did that... that you just can't act like that, esecially over a girl.

 

I'm not attacking you or anything, i'm just trying to make you realize, kinda like i did.. that over reacting about stuff... isn't good.

[hockeyboy]

I didnt get the full story. I overreacted to the fact that she didnt call or come over and what not but I am still a bit angry because she did make plans with me twice last night and copped out both times. First, we had plans to go out to the movies and she copped out and then she was going to come over my place to stay the night and she did not do that either.

 

Yes, its going to happen from time to time, but she also needs to know im not about to put up with somebody blowing me off a lot. She hasn't done much of it as of yet so its not a big deal but i want to make sure she knows im not okay or comfortable being taken for granted.

 

This applies to everyone, family, friends, etc...not just her.

[annie24]

Alright, so, what would you say to a friend or a co-worker who did this to you? If it happened to me, the next time I tried to make plans with that person, and they sounded like they were wavering, I would say, "Ok, it sounds like you're not 100% sure about Friday night because your cousin is coming into town (or whatever). Why don't you call me when you know you have a night free, and then we can hang out?" That way, you're firm that you don't want to put up with "maybe" plans and that you have your own life to live, and that you're not waiting around for her.

[hockeyboy]

Alright, so, what would you say to a friend or a co-worker who did this to you? If it happened to me, the next time I tried to make plans with that person, and they sounded like they were wavering, I would say, "Ok, it sounds like you're not 100% sure about Friday night because your cousin is coming into town (or whatever). Why don't you call me when you know you have a night free, and then we can hang out?" And then tell her politely you need to get off the phone. That way, you're firm that you don't want to put up with "maybe" plans and that you have your own life to live, and that you're not waiting around for her.

 

that all sounds reasonable to me.

 

others have asked me to do something tonight, so i may do something with friends instead of her, not to sure. one of those "others" is my ex. Although my girl does not care that i am friends with my ex i am not going to sink low enough to do that...but some of my buddies isnt out of the question.

[annie24]

well, don't waver with your friends either. Don't do to your friends what this girl is doing to you. I usually just make plans with whoever asks me first.

[hockeyboy]

Oh, i dont at all. Thats something we've talked about actually. Both of us, in our past relationships, spent almost everyday with our ex bf/gf. We both agree that is unhealthy.

 

Things actually went good last night. Saturday is her last night here. I had suggested we have a small party for her but she asked "can't we just spend it alone?" Basically she went on to say how she wants to turn the romantic volume up a notch. Thats fine with me, it tells me something.