How am i going to finnaly get over this? help please?

[pete89]

ok wel i hate the shyness i have it kills me sometimes and in a way i dont think its a shyness its basically every time i see a girl i want to flirt with inever ever think of something to say to her or anyway to get a conversation going and im geting mad cause a lot of girls think im hot and mny friends tell me how i could have got a girls number if i talked to her ot something like that

 

basically i watched my friend once and he invited 3 girls over his house one who he only met one time before so he wasnt close with her yet and never met the others wel to make it short he liked the one girl and to get close to her he made casual conversation with everyone for like 5 minutes then he started throwing pillows at her and she started throwing them back and they were both laughing.....he eventualy put on the tv and sat down next to her and just put his arm around her and basically from tehre he was making out with her....... i dont know how it works for him but it does so can anyone help me out with something like this?

[DoorMouse]

Just try and be yourself. You don't have to be something wonderful to impress a girl, you don't even really have to impress her. Start off basic, walk up to a girl you think looks cute, say hi, tell her your name, ask her what her name is, and then move from there. Ask her how she knows someone else at the location, what she likes to do. You don't have to be a 'pimp' to get girls, you just have to be nice.

[atomic]

My friends laugh at me because I'm the complete oposite, I'll talk to anyone!

 

Just think of it as a game though, the worst that can happen is they will tell you to go away (I've had that a few time but that is the bottom line!

 

Almost everyone has something about them you can comment on in a non-threatening way, maybe a funny hat (make sure it's a deliberate joke), perhaps they've just got some nasty 4 shot green mixer and you can just say "out for a good night I see ", just find something to get the conversation started - do not use chat up lines - and you'll find it just flows.

 

It's a game... play it, and enjoy it. I had a friend who was very shy, but I also knew he was very competitive. Once I explained how I did it, I picked out a really nasty bunch of girls and said "You've got 10 seconds to go chat them up or I'm doing it for you"... I got to 3 before he was mixing it up with them! Subsequently, he was hitting on some of the hottest girls in the place and even scored with one of them

 

It is definitely something you can learn though so just practise and as with anything force yourself to do what you don't want to and gradually it gets easy and then enjoyable!

 

Oh and finally, not everyone will want to talk or be hit on, just learn when you're flogging a dead horse and move on!

[Beec]

OK, you need ot learn how to talk to people, and you need to learn that we do not signal our attraction to each other using words, we use body language. How we look at each other, stand, gesture, etc. I've been at a party, had a woman look at me a few times and knew I was going to connect with her. We did nto say any words to each other, but teh body language was so clear.

 

I recommend first reading as many books as you can about body language, then try to read books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.