what's happened to me???

[benyboy80]

When I was younger, like up until i was about 16 i used to attract girls all the time. they used to smile at me, stare at me, turn heads, I always had a girlfriend, even had girls follow me down the street, then something happened.

 

I'm 27 now but I look younger and girls don't even give me a second look anymore. I'm not shy, i'm quite confident.

 

It's like I've gone from being the swan to the becoming the ugly duckling. Is it possible to lose your looks in such a way???

 

It's really bad to have known what that feeling is like and now not have anything like that now. I can't get a girlfriend now for jack. I talk to girls at all the time, at clubs, i have tried internet sites. nothing works.

 

Has anyone had the same thing?

[BellaDonna]

Well ,from reading your post only one thing sticks out as to why this may be so.

 

At age 16 or younger, you primarily meet people at school, through friends, or in casual social settings.

 

You mentioned that you've talkd to girls at clubs or on the internet, but maybe you are your best when you are in more casual settings. Your personality probably shows through more. It's probably not that you've "lost looks", it's probably just the setting.

 

You might shine more if you meet someone by chance, in a small group, or through a friend. You'll probably find someone when you're not even trying to look.

 

I've had many single firends that have tried the whole dating scene and went out on Saturday nights with the intention of trying to meet someone, with no luck. Some of them got very frustrated and decided to stop "trying"...then when they least expected it- they met someone.

 

BellaDonna

[gersanos]

I think BellaDonna hit it on the head.

 

When I was younger and in high school, I too had a constant gf and was always meeting new girls. I was also in a contained environment with other people (high school). The setting was pretty casual inside and outside of school.

 

Being older, there are more responsibilities and stress. Also, it depends where I go to "look" for women. The club scene is not for me, and bars are ok, but I use bars as a place to go and socialize with friends. I'm sure that there are some girls that go to bars with the same intention, and possibly meet someone new, but many of the girls that I have attracted at a bar are looking for a one night stand with me and that's just not me.

 

Also, I used to go out looking for someone, and almost always came home disappointed. It's when I changed my expectations to just go out and have fun with friends that I would meet someone when I least expected it.

 

Don't worry, you didn't lose your looks probably, and am sure you are confident. In fact, I think what happens is quite normal. Most people in high school (men and women) have a steady other or just naturally attract the opposite sex. As we age, the gap widens and more people are single as opposed to with someone. I don't know why that is. Probably a bunch of factors.

[ggoman]

I would also just like to add that I had a very similar experience. I dated many girls in high school. I finally broke it off with my high school sweetheart while I was in college, and then hit a very long dry spell (we're talking years here). gersanos and BellaDonna both make excellent points, so I am not going to repeat what they have already said. I would like to add another observation though...

 

In high school, getting a girlfriend can often be accomplished by simply standing out in some way that is either no longer available or not viewed as being as important later in life (being on the varsity basketball team, hanging with the "in" crowd, driving a nice car, etc.). Usually these sorts of shallow things don't make nearly as much of an impression later in life.

You may have been like me in high school and landed girls based on some of these "trivial" qualities. Now things have changed. You say you are confident... that's great. That is a huge positive for attracting women.

I suspect you have more of an access problem than a problem with your looks. Just be yourself and try to put yourself in an environment where the kind of woman you want to meet is likely to be. That's all you can do.