Hating this distance

[Avalon23199]

I have been friends with this guy, (we'll call him J) for quite a few years. We were attracted to each other when we worked together, but since my interests mainly were in his friend, we both kept it to ourselves, and we didn't know until about a year after I moved back home and we were talking online one night. That was nearly 2 years ago, and we had lost contact for about 1/2 a year because he was in a committed relationship. They recently broke up and he's been back in contact with me.

 

Before we lost contact, I felt myself becoming attracted to him again, wishing that the distance between us was something that could of easily been overcome. He is now a 13 hour drive away from me. And now, once again, I am falling for him, hard. Tonight we were talking and usually we joke around with each other sexually just to get each other all rowled up, but tonight our conversation softened a little bit. It does once in a while and he shows me just how much he does care for me and that it drives him crazy also that we can't be together. Here's part of tonight's conversation:

 

Me grrr, I just wanna give you the longest, sweetest kiss ever right now

Him i want that too

ME mind you it would most likely lead to other things, but hell, all the more reason for doing it

HIM i would settle for just the kiss

HIM actually i'd settle for watching you sleep

 

I think I'm starting to fall in love with him, but can't be 100% sure. I definitely know it's a deep infatuation. My question is, should I pursue this and try to do something about the distance, or should I just try to keep it on a friend level? We do have plans of seeing each other next year at a huge festival in PA that lasts for 2 weeks.

[saint_saul]

That's a difficult call, especially sense it's such a long drive. I honestly think you should go for a serious relationship with him; if both of you develop mutual feelings for each other, the distance won't be TOO much of a problem. Talk to him about it and see how he feels, if he's willing to commit, etc. Get his outtake of things and then just go from there. Good luck.

[majickdragon]

hello

 

Long Distance relationships hardly ever work. There is a lot of trust involved and even though you may think nothing will happen, there are many factors that can change that in a heartbeat.

 

By reading your post, you see hesitant. It seems like something more than distance is holding you back. Are you currently in a relationship? If so, have you talked to your significant other about it? After all, he has a right to know if you are going to leave for someone 13 hours away. If you are in a relationship, you might as well end it. Your feelings for the "other" guy is only going to complicate things and cause a lot of hurt feelings. It boils down to a trust thing. The way you talk to "J" and expressed feelings, it does a very great diservice to the one you may currently be with.

 

Why am I saying this? I've been down this road before. I had a child with the person who hurt me. Her sex drive controlled her and when the sex was no longer good enough for her, she started looking elsewhere while using me to keep her clothed, sheltered and providing the internet access she used for the hunting while I was not home or asleep.