not self-disclosing interests enough

[sfboi415]

A while back I was talking with a date and she said the following words, but I didn't pay her words any mind.

 

"Don't you have any interests?"

She smiled when she said this, but now I think she was doing her best to hide her frustration. The reason why she asked this question to me was because she still wanted to know if we were compatible.

 

Is this correct?

 

 

When is it the best time during a date to self-disclose the majority of your interests? Is it best to tell off a list of what you like to do or talk indepth about each of your interests to a girl?

And, what particular interests that guys and girls can both share instead of the interests that most guys would like? For example, there are women who play video games, but a small bunch of them like only the most violent and shocking of video games.

 

Maybe the reason why girls choose not to speak to me anymore (and then react hostile when I make attempts to speak to them) is because they don't see anything in common with me. Physical attraction wasn't there, personality wasn't there, but she then finds out that commonalities aren't there as well and so she moves on to the other guy. Who eventually becomes her boyfriend, lover, or guy friend.

[arwen]

Hey sfboi,

 

I think the basis of telling your interests, hobbies etc. is a good conversation in the first place. In other words, the way she formulated this question to you, was a negative, like her assumption was that you don't have any particular interests.

 

I am not familiar with the whole dating thing the way it is in the states, in Holland we go on dates after we already know something is there, I guess. Maybe it's better to ask a girl out after you already know you have things in common.

 

Don't list your interests, just find a topic and go with the flow. These things come out best naturally. Maybe you went to a particular country once and you can start telling about the trip and the experiences. Maybe you went to a concert of a band that you really like. The interaction when you tell, will tell you if she shares the passions and vice versa. It could be that she was telling you things that SHE liked, and you were too unresponsive to her taste.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

[Beec]

Well, maybe your lack of common interests is an issue. Women bond more by talking, men more by doing things together. She may want to know what are you going to talk about and do together. You need to do something together to bond. We bond through shared experiences.

 

So, if you need to develop another or more interests. Consider intersts that don't go together too.

 

And forget the rest of the stuff, except pay attention to how she feels, listen and be confident. A confident elephant man covered in manure would have more success with women than an insecure Brad Pitt.

[Miss M]

A while back I was talking with a date and she said the following words, but I didn't pay her words any mind.

 

"Don't you have any interests?"

She smiled when she said this, but now I think she was doing her best to hide her frustration. The reason why she asked this question to me was because she still wanted to know if we were compatible.

 

Is this correct?

The last time I asked a guy a question like that it was because I was doing all the talking while he only smiled and nodded. We went out a few times, but always it was I who decided where we went, I who initiated the conversation, I who told the jokes that made him laugh. It felt very lopsided, like I was just on a date with myself. And whenever I tried to invite him to participate in the conversation, to share some of his thoughts and interests, he couldn't come up with anything. It got boring to the point of feeling painfully lonely and we soon parted. And he was a very nice gentlemanly guy, but no personality whatsoever.