is that what i really want

[dimp62003]

k me and my ex have been best friends for like 4 years and we went out when we first met. but i'm starting to like him again and hes liking me too and this is really hard b/c i have a b/f and we have been going out for 2 years but hes starting to treat me like crap and controls me and im just sick of it. but i love him and i dont know what i would do without him. but on the other hand i really really like me ex like a lot and right now at this point in time i want to be with him just cuz he makes me feel good about myself and tells me things that my b/f doesnt tell me, like that i look good. when i get around him and cant help to smile, cuz like last night my b/f was mad b/c i was hanging out with a girlfriend and was throughing a fit about it and i was so mad at him but then i got around me ex and all i could do was smile b/c he makes me feel good.....

i just dont know what to do

[misery12]

Well, what was the reason you and your ex broke up?

[darkblue]

'Same question as misery12'.

[dimp62003]

i really dont remember i mean that was 4 years ago i think that i broke up with him b/c i didnt want to be with somebody but we only went out for like 2 weeks

[RooferGirl23]

been there, done that 2 times! it all stems back to the original reason you broke up in the first place. the problems you may have had then seem non-existant now, but beware! i still love my ex... and we tried to make it work over and over.. but then i'll find myself right back to the reason we broke up, and i ended up ending it for good. but we are still friends and do things together. so its not a total loss.

[Beec]

It seems that you have two problems. separate them and deal with them individually.

 

First, if your bf treats you this way, then decide do you want him? If not dump him. If you do, then accept the behavior or work to change it, maybe by not tolerating it. If he throws a tantrum, walk away, or let him yell, and ask him calmy when he pauses with a slgith smirk, "are you done yet?"

 

Second, if you dump him, fine, Figure out if you want your ex, and if so go get him.

[Adelle]

been there, done that 2 times! it all stems back to the original reason you broke up in the first place. the problems you may have had then seem non-existant now, but beware! i still love my ex... and we tried to make it work over and over.. but then i'll find myself right back to the reason we broke up, and i ended up ending it for good. but we are still friends and do things together. so its not a total loss.

 

 

Thats all very valid, but I'm not sure if it is necessarily true in this case. Dimp62003, you were 13 years old when you and your ex broke up. At your age now (17), you are a hugely different person than you were at 13... and so is your ex. This isn't the same thing as if, say 4 years ago at 18 I went through the same thing. Now at 22, i'm not a completely different person, but even that is not a good example (think 23 to 27 for example, unless you're schizophrenic, you're not going to be an entirely different person within that time frame)... because I believe people don't really form their true personality (don't really become themselves) until a certain age. For me, I feel like now I've been 'me' only for the past few years now. THis was not the case at 13. And I think same for you. You were a little child then. And you are still a kid now, but at 17, you're a much different person.

I dont know if all this is making any sense, lol. But basically, my advice... your current boyfriend sounds like a jerk. If he treats you like this, just get rid of him there are so many wonderful guys out there as much as us girls joke around about how they're all scum. Thats not true and we know it. But your boyfriend sure doesn't sound like one of the good ones out there. Your ex, from what you've mentioned, does sound like one of the good ones though. Don't know the details, but perhaps its worth a shot. You've both changed and grown a lot since 13 ... and I dont agree that the reasons you broke up then are extremely valid now. It was obviously not even significant enough that you cannot seem to entirely remember why you broke up, right? If you have somebody that makes you feel so good, andyou enjoy his company, and he's a good person in inside ... honey what are you waiting for? (!!)