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love my bf, hate his lifestyle

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i love my boyfriend to death. Our relationship is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I am 28 hours away from home right now. I made a post 4 days ago saying my boyfriend was drinking a lot since i left. I have now found out that he indeed stoped his drinking. I guess he just wanted to be wild for a few days while i was gone.

Ever since me and my boyfriend started going out I realised how much i hate his lifestyle. for example... He's a drug dealer, his best friend is a stripper who does tones of drugs, and the rest of his friends are really into drugs too. I am against all this, but since we have been going out he has always put me first. I haven't straight up told him that "hate his lifestyle" but i have told him that i don't like the drug dealing and i don't like some, or most, of his friends. I think he got the hint though because he turns his phone off when we're together and when he wants to go out with his friends he will make sure i come along.

My boyfriend has made it very clear that i am more important to him then anything and his friends know it too. But 3 days a week i work, and thereforeee he goes out with his friends without me. Of corse I'll let him go out with his friends, but I find my sellf terrible stressed out and worried whenever he does. When I'm done working i will call my boyfriend and ask him how his night was, and everytime he tells me one of his friends tried to get him to do ecstasy, or mushrooms or something else. He never would but it makes me TERRIBLY angry... however i always keep my anger to myself for i am lucky to have such a loyal boyfriend. BUt the anger and hatred i feel towards his friends is huge and sometimes makes me feel like i can't go on with this relationship. I'm selfish for feeling like this, but i just feel like he has to move on with the dealing and his druggie friends, but he wont and he is at the age where he has to start making decissions in his life. Thanx for reading. if you have any advice i'd be glad to hear it.

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To be honest, I wouldn't date someone like that, but the choice is up to you. If you cannot handle his lifestyle, then you may have to stop seeing him. Look at it like this.


-You want him to change (hard to happen)

-He doesn't

-You hang around giving him a chance.

-He goes about his normal thing.


Dealing drugs can get you into a lot more trouble than doing drugs. Just think about what you may be getting yourself into.

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I'm selfish for feeling like this, but i just feel like he has to move on with the dealing and his druggie friends, but he wont and he is at the age where he has to start making decissions in his life.


No you are not selfish. I don't know...is he going to be a drug dealer all his life? Is that to be his profession? If you are thinking this maybe a long term relationship I think you should be telling him it's the dealing drugs or you.

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I don't think you are selfish at all for not wanting to deal with that. Frankly, just dating him you are at risk. I've seen first hand the effects of drug dealing in my life and it can be extremely dangerous and destructive.


I would suggest telling him what's going on first. Give him a chance to make a change but set a definite date where if he has not changed by then you leave and if he hasn't changed by that date, LEAVE. He gets no excuses or extra time, no matter his reasoning.


This is not something you want to be involved in. Even if you aren't doing the drugs yourself you can still end up arrested if the cops get involved or worse if it's another drug dealer.

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I completely agree with all of the above posters...his drug dealing can get you in problem. There was this chick that came to our church before she was going to jail and told us about how her bf was a drug dealer and how he was free (went to Mexico) and she had to do jail time. I don't remember all the details but she was innocent except for knowing about it and not doing a thing. Anyway...he needs to stop that if he loves you.

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omigoodness lol i know how u feel....i used to "hang out" with a guy who was a drug dealer too, except he didn't put me first, he puts his drug dealing before me, and like for example we would be in the middle of talkng/eating then he would get a call and he'd be like "i gotta run out and do something"...and usually when there's parties or whatever he would do that like 3 or 4 times during the party...heading out in the middle of the night. and yea it annoyed me to death so i finally stopped seeing him. and his friends would hit on me and offer me drugs when he wasn't around. it was horrible. i said goodbye to that lifestyle and i think you should break it off with him if you don't want to get dragged into that lifestyle.

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