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Problems sleeping, missing him

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I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years now


I always had a hard time sleeping cause I miss him so much, and when I lay in bed i just get sad because i wish he was here with me so I cant sleep, its been a problem for a very long time and soon it will come to an end.


I need some advice on a way to get to sleep without becoming sad and staying up

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My bf and I are in different time zones. There is a 9 hour difference. That makes it really hard to call, because when I go to bed, he is in the middle of a busy working day.


I got a TV in the bedroom so I can listen to it as a surrogate for talking with him before falling asleep. Sometimes it helps but sometimes it makes things even worse. Last night in the news suddenly there was an item that reminded me very much of my bf. I cried because I miss him so much, and I held on to the bear he gave me.

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hey sounds a lot like me. My girlfriend is in Europe and the time difference is 9 hours. It sucks pretty much to say the least!


I'm sure he'll be able to talk to you for a short while before you go to bed. I manage, I'm sure you guys can! Just ask him if it's possible. I know exactly how you feel, the nights are the worst!


To be completely honest I don't really have any other advice to give you. Just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one to be in such a dilemma! But as I said, maybe talking to him over the phone is an option, that really helps.

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Hi atticus,


We are indeed in very similar situations - my bf is in the US but close to Vancouver! Phone calls during the day are quite difficult for him now. He got a new job and moved to a new place last weekend. He does not have a cell phone yet. He calls me from the office when it is feasible, but because of coworkers sharing the office, I can not really ask him to call me during his afternoon and sing me a lullaby, can I? ;-)


I chatted with him a little bit half an hour ago, and he said some sweet things which almost made me cry too. I guess I am a hopeless case ;-)



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I hear you: my boyfriend is in Washington-state and I'm in Massachusetts. Thus, we're long-distance with a three hour time difference.


It's very hard -- I miss him terribly when we're not together. And there are periods of time when tolerating the distance is even harder than others. We talk a hundred times a day and we webcam almost every night -- so, in many ways, we get to be together, anyway. (Not the same as being together physically, of course, but it helps.)


Anyway, as you can see, you're not alone.

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Hm, that's difficult to answer. Already mentioned were the phone calling, which for the time zone is obviously a problem. I can think of two other things that might help:

1. Exhaust yourself before you go to bed by doing a lot of work, or being heavily preoccupied with something. If your body is physically exhausted from working, you will more than likely be apt to fall asleep quicker without giving it a second thought.

2. Sleep pills. You might not really like this idea, but you can get OTC sleep drugs that work wonders. Usually you take them about an hour before you go to bed, and an hour later, you're out. Just take them at a decent time and it'll hopefully shorten the period of time you're up missing him. Of course, sometimes they don't always work, especially if you're stubborn, and that wouldn't be a good combination.

Try not to let your mind wander so much before you set yourself to go to bed. If watching TV reminds you of him sometimes, you probably want to avoid that. You need sleep!

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I'm going through the same thing -- we've been together 1-1/2 years and we're 16 hours apart (it's 9:30 p.m. here and it's 1:30 p.m. tomorrow there -- it's night for me and he's in the middle of his Monday work day in Japan).


I usually just exhaust myself before I can sleep. Worse for me is if I wake up in the middle of the night (which I do a lot) and when I first wake up in the morning. He usually calls me to say good night (very briefly) every night. My problem is I worry -- I worry about him all the time because we're so far away. He thinks I'm nuts for worrying (he says I'm a "baby" and he thinks it's so cute ) but when he's working he can't exactly have a real romantic conversation (or any conversation most of the time!) -- We used to talk 5, 6, 7 times a day, but I think he got in trouble at work for it.

He started asking me not to call him, let him call me instead.


Things got so bad I rolled my car about 6 weeks ago. I was so worried about him I went out driving at 1 a.m. and fell asleep (I was emotionally exhausted). Don't ever do that, Okay? I went 100 feet down a cliff and was lucky enough to climb out to the highway for help. Stupid. And lucky.


Anyways, hang in there. I know I sound like some sort of "expert" and like I'm so calm, but right now I'm crying, if that tells you anything. I know he's fine, but I worry and I obsess and I miss him so bad. (All I want to do is touch his hand and look in his eyes.) But I know we have a strong love, so I hold on and I wait until we're together again and for good.


Take good care of yourself, Okay? PM me sometime, if you ever need to talk.

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Anyway, as you can see, you're not alone.


I hear you, Mermaid!

My bf and I are 6 hours apart - I wish it were 8 or 9, because with 6 hours it's difficult to find a time when neither of us is asleep or at work. We ususally end up talking shortly after midnight my time (6 p.m. his time) or 6 a.m. my time (which would be midnight his time). This is really bad for my sleeping habits!


I miss him more than ever because we just spent 3 weeks together....



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  • 3 months later...

hi. i know how you feel. i was forced to move 24 thousand miles away from my first love (my only love). i can never sleep at night. everynight i get about maybe 4 hours asleep. most of the time i will cry myself to sleep. i can understand what you are going through. maybe you should call him at night so he can comfort you even tho he is not there. that's what i try to do. but love is love and there is no changing your emotions.

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