Teach me about confidence!

[HajiMaji]

So I have a friend who lacks a lot of confidence. She is an amazing person. Shes very caring and smart and she is attractive.

 

She has some crazy talent and I really want to help her in some way. Maybe point out a book she could read or something. I dont imagine i can magically teach her self confidence, but i just dont know where to start. I havent had this problem in my life, so i dont really know what to do.

 

I mean im still offering my support and everything, but is there something more i could do? I was hoping yall might be able to help me out!

 

Oh, and her self confidence issues arent related to boys, they are more related to her on a personal level. Like shes self conscious about her future and her ability to do certain things.

[smallworld]

Hey HajiMaji, it's really sweet of you to try to help your friend acquire confidence. Well the truth is you can't talk anyone into better self-esteem. It's one of those things that they have to "earn" themselves by setting goals and accomplishing them. You can help her though by pointing out what qualities you admire in her. Be her "mirror" so to speak and help her focus and make the best use of her strengths.

 

It would also be really helpful if you just listened to her concerns and try to help her see small things she could do to make progress towards accomplishing things that are important to her. Encourage and celebrate with her when she makes positive efforts towards accomplishing those things. Because ultimately accomplishment is the only thing that will help her build her self-esteem.

[HajiMaji]

Well said smallworld. I will be sure to do that some more. One of the hard things is she doesnt 'believe' me when i throw her a compliment or something. Maybe just continued support and time will help that. She use to think i was 'just being nice' all the time, but i think shes starting to believe it a bit more

 

Does anyone have any other ideas? Maybe a good book or two. She loves to read and i think she would be more then willing to read something that would help (she knows this is her problem). Is a book a good idea? I will definitely continue trying to be a 'mirror' for her.

[gosay0110]

Positive Mental Attitude: Not very often!

 

The prerequisite to winning!The real challenge is to maintain a positive attitude when all is not right. After all, when is everything right? Not very often!

 

*this article has been brought into light in reference to our past article on eight fold path, were we have seen about right views, intentions,

 

first of all to start or to head a target we need to ask a bunch of questions like ; will i grow from this goal ? is this goal going to help me become better person? will this act will bring in harmony or distortion? when we have some positive answers to the above will automatically bring in lot of strength to our goal, here also one should be aware that they should not be working on a situation in order to change world, they should be in an attitude of giving the best contribution of them, and the result is never a criteria of doing the work. but still we face few common problems where we unknowingly we make few mistakes which are discussed here below,

 

 

 

The list of excuses that detract from optimum performance is almost endless. It runs the gamut from the ridiculous to the sublime. The following is a list of my Top Twenty Excuses:

 

 

 

I didn't have time to practice

 

I don't understand the tasks

 

I don't have the best glider

 

I don't have the best radio

 

The tasks are too daunting

 

I hate runway landings

 

My glider isn't trimmed right

 

My servos don't center

 

My linkages are loose

 

My eyesight isn't what it use to be

 

I've got a terrible headache

 

I can't get focused today

 

I can't deal with the pressure

 

I don't enjoy flying at this field

 

This contest isn't important to me

 

I can't get a good timer

 

I don't have a clear frequency

 

I can't beat him

 

I don't like to compete

 

The CD is a jerk (When all else fails, blame the CD! )

 

 

 

Do you notice a common thread that connects these excuses? Actually there are two: The bad news — Negative Thinking; the good news — all can be corrected with Positive Action.

 

 

 

Look what happens when we replace the negative phrases such as I can't, I don't, I hate, etc., with the affirmative and see what a difference it makes. Also note the difficulty involved in actually putting the affirmative in action. By the way, if you have read my previous articles you know that having the best equipment — while certainly an advantage — is not mandatory.

 

 

 

These obstacles (excuses) preexist in our mind before we even start the contest. I'm not saying these restrictions aren't valid and don't impact our ability to compete. However, we have dominion over these types of impediments and they can be corrected before the contest even begins. These excuses are really a reflection of our commitment or resolve, or lack thereof. These barriers are nothing more than our mind giving our body permission to fail — they're a pre-existing justification for poor performance!

 

 

 

* lets try to find out who taught us about problems? we tend to accept the problems many of time at least in the initial stage from the other persons perception, but if some person who has been successful in the same situation means a person who believes in his strength, so he made use of his equipments god gave him, the ability to think, but we also have but not used to the fullest, so in short i would like to say that re programme your mind, so how to do that ? We can use some of the same techniques that have proven successful in professional competitive venues such as visualization, self-hypnosis, biorhythms, etc.

 

 

 

the most important thing a person also need to do is to meditate , mediation will do lot of background work which might not be seen to us , but will bring in lot of changes in once emotional states, then mental states and then physical states too. by meditating he is preparing himself to execute the right weapon of thoughts at the right time or the requirement, my meditating a person tends to not react out of emotions but out of calm head, by meditating a person has excellent patience and analytical skills, by mediating he is guided.

 

 

 

positive thinking is not for success, its is the correct path for your journey, success is related to the material world not the spiritual world, positive thinking is not for getting fame or encouraging our ego but its is for the happiness of not thinking low.

 

 

 

the positive or negative thinking comes out of the deep routed belief systems of a person, where if a person have more believes that he is convinced than which are not convincing for him then he thinks more positive then negative and vice versa. because the strength to a thought comes from the emotions and a part of emotions are directly proportional to the persons belief system, so its all interlinked, and once a person loves to do any thing, that is here we can see that he is convinced to a great extend , he can do anything, and will convert anything as his weapon to get his love, so what we have discusses or analysed is an automated process in everyone but, we rarely do things which we really love, if you love a girl what will you do to get her, any thing and will give-up anything to get her love or to make a relation with her, did you read this kind of article any where before going to do what you did, no. so every one has some success story to speak loud proudly, access that memory , and see what worked there, now see how to replicate that approach now.

 

so go-ahead and do what you love, give your best, and you can do it. and continue doing what you love till your k/joule of your energy in you.

http://www.gosay.tk

[sandman47]

Very good post gosay0110! Self confidence is something I want to improve. I need to be able to trust my abilities.