random dating thought, comments welcome

[goodquestion]

Hey Everyone,

 

I really don't know where I am going with this posting, but maybe I'll reach somewhere eventually, lol.

 

Back in Oct 2004, I dated a girl for a month ... this girl had been in an physically abusive relationship for 4 years, and has a young son (currently 2 yrs). After a month, when I called for a date, she said she would have to get back to me, and never did. This happened twice. I stopped calling her.

 

In March 2005 I moved 3 hours away from her, because I couldn't find enough work to support myself. I've since bought a house, and the job is going relatively well.

 

At the end of May 2005, she contacted me, and said she wanted to see me. I'm no pushover, so I said, "what is different this time?" She said she knew what she wanted now, and got scared before, yada yada. Well, I said ok, but stipulated that I didn't want _ANY_ drama, and if she ever had to "call me back" I didn't want any mind games. She apologized, and agreed.

 

I seen her a total of 5 times since mid-June, and things were good. She brought up the distance at the end of the 4th date (don't women ever think of this from the start?). There was a bunch of "guy doesn't understand what girl is asking" and so I thought it best to break it off. In normal speak, she wanted to know why I didn't call more, and what direction I wanted from this relationship.

 

After I figured this out, I called her back and explain that I cared for her (I didn't go overboard crazy here), and that this was not a fling for me. I told her I would call her more often, and said I would like to see her again. She agreed.

 

The last time I seen her was Aug 6th, and we had a blast. When it was time for me to leave, she kissed and hugged me like no tomorrow. Maybe this was her way of saying goodbye.

 

The next week I called, no return call. I called again and got ahold of her. I said I would come down on Saturday, but she said she was going to the cottage. I said cool, I'll just go to the dragstrip and race for the weekend.

 

Well, I called twice this past Monday (1.5 hours apart), and once last night. I've got no return calls. She doesn't have voicemail, but she has call display. I generally don't leave messages anyhow, I don't like being passive waiting for someone to call.

 

Anyways, I always try to stay positive about things, but something is telling me she has gone "scared" again ... it seems every time this girl develops feelings for me, she gets scared. I'm really not hurt, but I am disappointed, because I thought there would be enough respect there to just deal honestly, I guess that was too much to ask.

 

I guess she still has alot of emotional baggage to work through from her abusive relationship, and having the bit of distance doesn't make it easier ... she was always attentive, and in my personal space, smiling, would cuddle, etc. so I believe there was something there ... but ...

 

My plans are to call one more time tomorrow night, then forget about it. The kicker is, I mistakenly left one of my insulin pens there (about 75$ worth) with insulin in it. Last time I talked to her, I told her to put it in the fridge, guess I should have went back and got it before heading home, eh?

 

Anyways, thanks for listening,

later.

[swimraider04]

Hey, Just from reading your post you sound a little un-emotional. This could be untrue and just the vibe I caught... But for her.... It sounds like she needs someone to lay it all out on the table. Tell her what they feel and really shine their soul from the inside out. She's probably scared because she doesnt feel she can trust you. I don't see how she could really trust anyone anymore. I give her credit for even dating man. It doesnt really seem like you care ENOUGH for her. If I'm wrong correct me. But she deserves someone who is going to care for her 100 times better than whoever tried before.

[goodquestion]

Reading my previous post, it may sound that way ... but I don't feel I am un-emotional. She picked up last night, and she said she was at her parent's place monday and tuesday, and at her nanny's wednesday. I trust her with that, I'm not one to make accusations. When I told her I cared for her, I really emphasized that ... I try and be as supportive, caring, and understanding as I possibly can. The time we spend together is quality, we cook together, I brought her flowers last time ...

 

I just have to be patient with her, I know this ... and I have to look past the possibility of being hurt myself, which I realize everyone always thinks about.

 

I would drive 3 hours to spend 5 minutes with her and her son ... I will take what you say to heart. It's been many years since I've found a girl that I click with so well. Everyone always has the fear of being jerked around, and I always try to push that into non-existence. I will be wary about coming off as un-emotional ... I know she deserves tonnes better than the last guy she was with, I can't even imagine what she went through ...

 

thanks

[MrSalsa69]

It sounds like she needs someone to lay it all out on the table. Tell her what they feel and really shine their soul from the inside out. She's probably scared because she doesnt feel she can trust you.

 

The best way to get a woman that you are seeing to trust you, is to completely open up to her with your feelings. You will notice her eyes sparkle with love.

 

I don't mean tell her your sexual fantasies, there is another time for that.

[goodquestion]

thanx for the info ... I appreciate it everyone.

 

peace, later