We broke up but now...

[laclarita]

We had NC for about two weeks, been technically broken up since the end of June. I've been starting to feel good finally, was feeling real crappy for the first week, but have been eating well, doing yoga, being committed to my work, meditating, etcetera. Starting to feel positive and letting him go.

 

He sent me an email apologizing for his behavior during our relationship about a week ago. He owed me money and sent me my check in the mail.

 

I sent him an ecard telling him thank you for sending the money, and then said some things about my weekend in Seattle and school and all, and then told him I missed him and appreciated the things he taught me and the ways he changed my life.

 

He then sent me an email saying he'd thought about me over the weekend and that he really does love me and that he hopes I find lots of love in my life and good people. And then he said he wanted to meet up sometime, maybe for lunch.

 

We were going to meet today, but then because our selection is limited for lunch (we both work near each other) he said he'd prefer to meet me for dinner or to rent a movie, and wanted to know if I wanted to meet at his house or mine?

 

So... I kind of got nervous about that one and sent an email saying I didn't have much time but I'm free any time other than Thursday but didn't tell him what I preferred. I wasn't sure if that was such a good idea. We have a LOT of sexual energy between us and even if we didn't do anything, I think I'd feel a lot of desire to do something with him. And at the same time, this whole thing is breaking down my whole "moving on" thing and making me think about things again.

 

I know really I have to wait until we meet up to see what he is really thinking of, but does it seem like he is trying to hook up again? I feel nervous about it.

[doug]

Who is the dumpee in this situation ?

 

To give you first hand advice, I went to a movie with my ex a couple of weeks after splitting up and it seriously affecting my healing process.

 

It was nice to see her alone but I never knew exactly knew what she was thinking - which incidentally hurt.

 

I would seriously think about this one.

[laclarita]

Well, I dumped him and we were talking about getting back together and then he decided he didn't want to. It was pretty firey when that happened, he was kind of mean about it. I don't think we'll get back together at all. That's isn't in my vision at this point.

 

Of course, I'm thinking about it, but I have a feeling I'm going to go, for curiousities sake.

 

Any pointers?

[doug]

Well since you are the person who ended the relationship, you have to respect that he is hurt and confused.

 

But if you want him and you can prove that you want him then give it another go. Seems like you guys have a chance of reconcilling.

 

The ball is in his court now though.

[laclarita]

I guess I don't know if I want him. And he might not want me. Dunno. Our break up was really firey and he was really mean, and during our relationship he was controlling.

 

So if we were to give it a go again, it'd have to be completely different than before and I don't know what the chances of that are really.

 

So, I guess I just feel confused. I like him when he isn't mean. But it also does get a bit boring because he always wants to do the same things. But then I do feel a connection to him. So I dunno, this whole things is confusing, but really deep down I don't think it's right for us to be together because of the way the break up was. I feel nervous about meeting him, but I also miss him.

 

So I'm confused.

[scottfromoz]

i am in a similiar situation not at the stage of going to the movies or dinner but yeah i broke up she considered it then said no, she couldnt at the time, anyway my point

go to the movies or hang out if you are sitting here wondering what to do a part of you really wants to do it. Dont go expecting it to change anything but go try be friends see how it goes it may hurt like hell but you dont want to sit around your whole life going what if i had of done this...

anyway im currently doing the same trying to get back a friendship and who knows from there, no contact although helped me a bit and was necessary to let things cool down at the start it was making things worse in the end, so yeah theres my 2c of advice