Can I ask your opinon

[Barney]

Hi folks

Wondering if you could help me out here.

I met this girl online 5months ago,we live in the same city and have met up 2 or 3 times.

I have a great time with her and we talk about everything,we are very comfortable with eachother.

Personality wise we are both what we are looking for in a relationship althou still friends.

I know she would like to be my girlfriend because she has told me in the past.

And my problem is I dont think she is the most attractive girl I've met,althou she is not terriable looking, she's quite okay.

I dont want to feel shallow because of this.

But I think this is keeping me back from starting a relationship with her.

Sometimes I think im too picky and I want everything to be perfect in a relationship I guess thats why I dont date much girls.

 

But what do you guys/girls think I'd like to get some help on this one?

 

Much thanks.

[smallworld]

Hey Barney, if you have any doubts, it's better to keep things as they are then to try to force yourself to feel attracted to her if you don't (and thereby risk hurting her at some later point if someone else comes along that you'd fancy more.) If you've ever been strongly attracted to someone before, you'd know that there's no doubts or hesitations. You just want to spend every second of the day with them.

 

Don't worry about being shallow. Worry about doing the right thing for her and you. If you don't find her attractive, there might just be someone else out there who'd adamantly disagree with you. And doesn't she deserve to be with someone who thinks she's beautiful just as she is and who has no doubts that she's the only one for him?

 

You deserve the same, but you'll never find it if you settle for what's "safe". Just a thought...

[some-guy]

I have a sinilar situation. I work with an amazing girl that I really like a lot. I think she is pretty , but she is overweight and I am not physically attracted to her.So , I am not sure either.

[Barney]

Thanks folks I get what your saying.

I dont really like to base relationships on just looks I would'nt drop someone like this girl that has such a great personality and that I have such a good relationship with just because some one really pretty comes along Im not like that I would'nt risk losing her you know.

[Mun]

Attraction is very important and I think you should just make sure you don't lead her on about this since you don't really want to be with her. Be clear that you want only friendship.

 

If she is such a catch she will find a man who loves her EXACTLY the way she is.

[RayKay]

Well, only you can determine what is attractive to you or not, and your criteria.

 

If you feel doubts, then let her be, and keep it as friends (just be VERY clear with her on that!). Do not lead her on, and decide later that you were right, and cannot be happy with her.

 

Because there is someone out there you will find beautiful in every way, and someone out there who will find HER beautiful in every way..."looks" are not everything, however attraction is very important. And attraction varies from person to person...someone whom is plain in your eyes, might be gorgeous in anothers, if everything fits.

 

Personally, I want my partner to be attracted to me wholly - personality and appearance, and I don't think its shallow to realize that you need more than personality alone..