Day 1 of NC

[byates5637]

Me and my ex girlfriend split apart about 3 months ago. We had a NC period, then a back together period, then she just wanted to be friends. (read post in getting back together for full story) Today is the first day of NC, it has only been about 5 hours since ive seen her last, but i told her flat out that we are done talking and im sticking to it.

 

The pain i feel right now is unbareable. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't enjoy anything in life anymore. I havnt been eating. I dream about her several times a night and wake up wanting to die. This forum has been helping me, but so many people on here have stories about pain that endures for months and months even into years. This scares me so much because i can't live like this for that long. Anyway, i was wondering if anyone can tell me how long it should be till i feel better. I want to hear some success stories of people who spent time in NC and the felt better, or people who spent time in NC and then got there ex back and it worked out.

[melrich]

I don't know how long it will last. Probably the answer is as long as you let it. Really though you can't just circumvent the healing process and go straight to acceptance and moving on.

 

No contact does help but the temptation to break it is always there. Good luck with it all.

[heloladies21]

Well it's different every time. It's taken me anywhere from 1 yr to 4 days (found someone else) to get over exes. Stick to the No Contact like glue, take care of your things and yourself, and start talking to other chicks. If her feelings for you are strong enough, she'll get in touch with you and it can't be so easy to get you back. That's a recipie for success.

[BellaDonna]

This forum has been helping me, but so many people on here have stories about pain that endures for months and months even into years. This scares me so much because i can't live like this for that long. Anyway, i was wondering if anyone can tell me how long it should be till i feel better. I want to hear some success stories of people who spent time in NC and the felt better,

 

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[dontknowwhattodo]

I want to hear some success stories of people who spent time in NC and the felt better, or people who spent time in NC and then got there ex back and it worked out.

 

I started NC from day one since he dumped me for his soul-searching and for peeking if the grass was greener at the other side. We only talked 2-3 times (he called) but did not meet all all for 5 months. I felt better as time passed by. During these months, I dated a few guys while (according to what he told me when we started to talk again) he over-worked. By the end of 5th month that I started to feel great about myself and happy being single again, he suddenly got out of his way and wanted to hang out. We started hanging out since then until now (it has been 6 months). I cannot say if we get back together but at least we meet and hang out almost every weekend. We are more open than ever as I don't care that much about his whereabouts or if we will meet or if I will say things wrong. He also talks more about his feelings, plans and goals in his life. And when he is acting like a jerk, I will just tell him about it and stop talking to him and then he will reach out. I like it the way it is though I don't know what future holds. At the end we may not be together but at least we have a pretty strong bond and are still friends.

 

In conclusion,

1) NC helped me feel better.

2) I have been seeing my ex.

3) I still doubt if we get back together but we date exclusively.

[Bounder]

Dont know,

 

 

How did you make that tranistion to talking without hurt and pain. How did he initiate it?

[FCTex]

There is hope. It's just tucked away..

 

 

I like your story. I'm cutting loose today. I'm going NC, and I'm dissappearing from her. She's going to have to contact me.. She'll be back. I just feel it, but I'm not hoping and I'm not waiting.

 

I sent her an e-mail to clear it all up, and to "cleanse" myself.. And tonight, while walking around the mall, grabbed my phone and said "good bye.." in a text message to her..

 

It felt good, but saddened me. I wasn't lookin for her to reply, but that word, was closure for me.. Closure for this chapter, even though I feel as those it won't ever close. I can't close it, because I still have hope....

 

 

As the song I'm listening to says..

 

"Lips Sealed and tongues tied, your secrets are safer with you than with me. This isn't how it should end, or should it end at all, and every now and then I'm gonna wait for you to call.. I've waited my whole life for you, and it's meant to be all I can do. I already know it's true, if you still have a heart to steal, I want to steal it from you. Stolen devotion, it's not an excuse. I can't even look at your eyes,-- Broken, unspoken - All your promises amount to lies. So where do I go from here? We've said our last goodbyes, and a broken smile to roam in the night skies." I waited my life for you, if it's meant to be it's all I can do. I know it's already true "Did you ever think that we could survive, you said we'd last two year,, but you said it's a lie." I'm just now a poster boy for wreckless lies."

 

 

This song is saddening, but I find comfort in it... I can relate..

[dontknowwhattodo]

Dont know,

How did you make that tranistion to talking without hurt and pain. How did he initiate it?

 

I was hurt so badly because I thought he was the one and our relationship was nearly perfect. He told me on the break up day that he didn't see me in his future and he didn't see us raising kids together. Next day he flipped when we did the official break up in person and said that I was almost the one and he just needed to see people first. All these words stuck into my head since then (and until now) and they pushed me to move on. Not only hurting emotionally, I was physically paralysed for hours after he told me that. However, if I were him, I wouldn't want to be stuck with someone whom I thought I couldn't live with for the rest of my life either, so I understood him. And to be able to move on I needed to forgive him (but of course I did not forget what happened). So, I did forgive him and thanked him for being honest.

 

I tried my best to avoid him until I was ready to talk to him again, that was how it started. During the break up, we agreed to be friends and continued to hang out, so he used that as a reason to contact me again after 5 months and asked if I wanted to hang out. He had some funny excuse like he wanted to come to my neighborhood for an art exhibition and wondered if I would be around to meet up. There were some other funny excuses but I guess they worked as we now continue to see each other on regular basis again without having to find an excuse. He will just call me up and ask if I have time and want to hang out. First we were just haning out as friends but now we are dating. Who knows where we are going, I personally do not expect anything.

 

I sent her an e-mail to clear it all up, and to "cleanse" myself.. And tonight, while walking around the mall, grabbed my phone and said "good bye.." in a text message to her....

 

Yeah, I also did send him an email pouring my heart out and wishing him a good luck in finding what he wanted on the night that he dumped me too. No answer but I was sure that he read it. Felt good after that because it was the closure that I needed.

 

Good luck to you all. The key is forgiving and moving on.

[FCTex]

I wish that your journey will happen to me.

 

I want to have that control, and I want to get back to being with them, but slowly. I want her to realize that I wont crawl back, but that we both need to work on it and be us.