Orgasm for her, nothing for me

[Hello90]

Hello,

 

My girlfriend and I have a small problem. After kissing for about an hour, I usually finger her and bring her to orgasm. Well, the problem is once she has one, that's it! She doesn't want to kiss any more or pay attention to my needs. I try talking to her and she just doesn't feel like it (obviously, she just had an orgasm). I am wondering how I can fix this? Any suggestions on how to approach it without demanding anything.

 

Thank you for any replies!

[darkblue]

Welcome to enotalone.

 

Have you tried not fingering her first?

[lady00]

2. Don't let her orgasm until she's taken care of you. If she's still not getting the idea, bring her really close to orgasm and then stop completely. No kissing, nothing...just stop. If she asks why you stopped, tell her you wanted her to see how frustrating it is.

 

Yikes! That would be pretty obnoxious too . I think the above is what I would call game-playing and it's a pretty immature thing to do. I suggest that you talk to your gf outside of a hookup setting cause she's more likely to be really listening to you at that point and really hear what you say. Tell her what bothers you in a calm, non-accusatory manner. You might want to suggest switching things up every so often, instead of always trying to satisfy her first, maybe you guys can switch roles and then she can satisfy you first. If she still doesn't change her behavior, then it's probably time to part ways.

[Tigris]

Do you know if she's had experience in satisfying a boy/man's needs?

Is it possible that she doesn't know what to do so she's scared to try in case she gets it wrong. Why don't you just get it out and show her what you want.

 

Whatever you do don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

 

Good luck, take care and have fun.

 

 

[Hello90]

Hey, Thank you for all of the replies!

 

I don't think I'm going to stop right before orgasm, that would be mean. She's done that to me before, as well.

 

She doesn't have a lot of experience and that must be part of it. I will try not pleasing her first, even though I really like to, and see if that changes anything.

[RyanWhite]

Communication... That is what it is all about. If she refuses to even hear you out, dump her, and I am being serious.