I barely know him...so whats up with the NC?

[queenofvalidation]

So, I moved into my new home mid-april. It is now mid-august. Well, there's a really nice guy who lives next door to me. He has mowed my lawn, kissed my hand, told me I'm gorgeous and said he would be honored if I would go out with him. The thing is he gets really jealous of the thought that I may have a love interest & became familiar too quick. (he actually raised his voice at me when I told him my ex was coming over for 4th of july and bluntly asked me if I have a boyfriend who comes over to my house-uh no) I would see him a couple times a week when I went out in my backyard. Then he got a job and started hanging out at a bar after work. I dropped by his work a couple times and he said I should come by more often-I haven't & won't as I don't think it's appropriate. Since then, I haven't seen him around the house at all. Its been about 2 weeks. I think he is trying to do nc with me so that I will pursue him, but I barely know him. If he wants to see me, he knows where to find me. Any thoughts are much appreciated. Thanks!

[DN]

What do you want from him? Do you want to go out with him?

[Cadence308]

He sounds really controlling. You barely know him and he's getting jealous of past relationships. I know the type!

 

It all depends on what you want from him. If you are interested in him, why don't you ask him out? If you are not interested and he's becoming too controlling, then go with no contact. I wouldn't be into the mind games, either!

[queenofvalidation]

Thanks,

 

While I don't have a "boyfriend" per se, I do have a love interest that I've mentioned in previous posts.

 

I would only feel comfortable dating my neighbor casually but think he might get serious too quick. Which could be very awkward with him living right next door.

 

 

Yipes! Am I becoming commitmentphobic!

[Mr. Cactus]

He sounds quite weird to me, so the "NC" sounds like quite a good thing. I don't think I would be inclined to go near him actually, his behaviour is a little creepy to be honest.

[DropToZero]

Thanks,

 

While I don't have a "boyfriend" per se, I do have a love interest that I've mentioned in previous posts.

 

I would only feel comfortable dating my neighbor casually but think he might get serious too quick. Which could be very awkward with him living right next door.

 

 

Yipes! Am I becoming commitmentphobic!

 

Yea it is awkward...DON'T DO IT!! I just literally thought you were talking about me for a second because of how similar the stories sounded, but don't worry, it's not. I am ..or was...I dont know what's goin on, but I'm in somewhat of the same situation, and I know you're probably not going to listen because it's so easy to follow your feelings, but I went out with my neighbor and then pushed it further, nothing serious, but I got attached, and now it's somewhat awkward ...at least for me, she doesn't seem to know what I know...anyways...it's your choice.

[queenofvalidation]

Hey all,

I'm back today with a thought about this guy. It dawned on me this morning that my neighborfriend is possibly a commitmentphobe himself. I have been involved with a cp & know that cp's come on strong & pursue their love interest to no end at first & then when they get the response they were looking for & the thrill of the chase is over, they try to turn the "catchee" into the aggressor &/or "friend". Whatever the m.o. is, I've decided I'm not down for it.

Thanks for reading!

[queenofvalidation]

Incredible, no contact really does work! Per everybody's advice, i made every attempt not to see my next door neighbor since my last post.

 

So last night i'm sitting around watching Fear Factor when i get a knock on the door...Who was it? My neighborfriend standing there looking very forlorn, just checking in.

 

My point is that even tho he initiated the nc, i turned the tables around when i didn't chase or appear to notice his absense. i barely know him so it was easy for me to stay away. It wasn't long before he came my way, even tho that wasn't my objective. Nevertheless, It does prove a point.

[DropToZero]

Yea it does...my neighbor's been calling me and IMing me lately...or at least my away msg. She really wants to talk, but I dont really know how I want to handle the whole situation...so I havent picked up or called back. But, yea...n/c does work, even tho mine is more like 'ignoring.' Don't forget tho, sometimes ppl may give in, but if you had two ppl like me, you may never talk again...I've been able to put up some pretty decent walls lately...or so it seems.