Is this a game or somethink more, please help.

[barryttt]

Hi I posted my story, but to cut it ex dumped me about 1 1/2 months ago. Think she still hadnt recovered from her last relationship and she had a few other problems. I tried to be there but ended up getting hurt and had the normal I hate you and you did this too me etc etc. Since then she had been out with 1 other guy which lasted about a week and think she was meeting another guy and not sure whats happening with that one. We seem to have a cycle, she would contact me about somethink and I guess I took this as a good sign but nothing would become of it. It normal ended with me getting upset and asking her to get back with me. This wouldnt happen of course and we ended up not speaking to each other (she working next to me so we do see each other everyday).

 

So 2 weeks ago I just though f@#k it and did what you guys advice people here. NC and I changed my mobile number. I didnt want her contacting me and wanted to move on. Been keeping busy and going out with work friends. Got some new clothes and started to go the gym. I do feel better and think other girls are looking interested, might just be wishful thinks but it feels good. A few people have said I look happier and think I do. When I see my ex I just smile and say hello and nothing more. Before this I just looked sad and when I saw her just looked at the ground and walked past.

 

Well 2 days ago my work had a party (I asked for advice as she was going, but did know what she would be like). I guessed she would get drunk and try to kiss everybody in the place. A friend helped alot and drilled me before I went. Told me to look happy and if she speaks to you dont be nasty and be polite. Got there and of course she was there and you know what I just forgot about her after a few drinks. She called me over and said she didnt want to argue tonight and I was nice and offered her to buy her drink she said thanks and I got her one and returned to my group of mates. A girlfriend of mine has just split up with partner and I was talking to her alot. There where other people with us and it didnt look like anything just a guy and girl talking like friends. My group of friends left for some food.

 

Now when I got in i had 2 text messages on my new number from my ex. Not sure how she go it but it would not had difficult. One was sent during the party see knows another girl is after me work and made it into a joke. She knows I wouldnt go out with this ever so nothing of importance there.

 

Then another sent after I left and this is what is troubling me. It said R U with some please answer me. I didnt respond. The next day I get another text message ask me about somethink again not important, I didnt respond and then she called my phone later that night. I didnt answer. I did send a reply, it was about a friend she wanted to know somethink. Just answered her question and said goodnight at the end. Ive saw her since and have maintained my feel good look happy attitude, smiled and said hello how are and then went into work. I do feel better and still love her but not sure whats she up too. Whats going on, please help guys.

 

My first post is here: link removed

[heloladies21]

She's just playing games with you and trying to see if you're still interested so she can have that security blanket. She's not showing you anything serious. If she shows up on you front doorstep at 2 AM crying and begging for you back, then MAYBE she's serious, but until something ridiculous like that happens stay in No Contact. Don't even say hi to her.

[suprema99]

I agree with helloladies. There's to many guys in the scenerio on her part. If she really liked you, it should only be about you. So probably games are being played there.

[Antimyth]

Nice work on changing your lifestyle and getting back on top of things, it seems this new attitude has caught her off guard. I reckon you keep it up and just maintain the no contact and keep improving yourself.

[barryttt]

Hi guys thanks for your advice, think I know she is playin a game. The funny thing is, is that she has contacted me a few times. Not sure if she was looking for a reason to contact me about her friend. You see her friend who I know and my ex had a bit of an argument. I sort of knew somethink about it and she texted me asking what I knew. I didnt really know much and told her that in my reply. Again I have been keeping my head up when I have saw her and said hello and smiled nothing more really.

 

Yesterday was a bit strange. I went the pub after work again my two friends came from work. One male and one female. The female was also at the work party and I chatted to her most of the night and as far as I can tell we didnt display any of the your my new girl signs. Nobody else thinks where going out but I am sure my ex does. Anyway she came over the pub with her friend, they seemed to be talking now and sat with us. I was friendly to my ex and really talked to everybody not showing any signs of weakness. I even bought my ex a drink. Me and friends left.

 

Later in the night my ex texted me saying she and her friend are ok now. I didnt reply. She then calls and I just left it. Then she starts to ask why am i ignoring her. I just didnt see the point where not together and I dont want to be set back by us staying in contact. She then asks am i with this girl, she says it clear the way we where acting in the pub and we didnt do anything, nobody else thinks it so why is she. I did speak to her after her calling me a few times and I told her we werent, she then says iam not bothered but why are you lying about it, i just though it was funny and i did tell her i wasnt.

 

We did have a friendly chat and i made her laugh a few times but didnt stay on the phone too long. Normal i would stay on the phone for ages but it was me for the first time ended the call. This was the first voice call since i start NC, and it has been her contacting me. Still no hint of want she wants from me, but i remained friendly on the phone. Do i stay in NC mode, i do want her back but she has too do all the work, and if she doesnt then i move on. The days are getting better for me but I am trying not too jump the gun and get my hopes up.

[suprema99]

Hey barryttt. She's is playing games cause it obviously makes her upset that she thought you were with another girl and she was questioning that. I think if you want her back, give her some attention for a bit, but like you said, don't get your hopes up too much and don't go full force. Also, I would say making her do all the work is questionable. Cause she might think you totally don't like her though anymore, and maybe do what she thinks your doing. I think you proved your point with her. I would try to keep it 50-50 and it sounds like she still has feelings for you if she got jeleous. Goodluck

[barryttt]

Hi thanks for the reply. I am not sure what my next move should be. I am a bit scared to stay in contact in case things dont go as planned. I made NC yesterday nearly sent a text but didnt. I dont want to seem needy and weak. Another thing i forgot to tell you was that when she was texting me the day before she did seem to get more angry when i didnt respond back right away to her text messages and then i think that was why she started to call. She is just trying to figure out her next move, thinking of reason to contact me again. Also do you think she is also fishing, what i mean trying to find out what iam thinking about her. Do you think its best she contacts me, and i respond and keep it upbeat making sound like i might move on from her so she has to play her hand quick. As i said i am not sure what shes thinking at the moment, but dont want to ask as i feel i will be handing my control back over to her.