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I'm So Frustrated and Confused......

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and for a while we weren't getting too serious, just 2 people who really liked each other, but now our feelings have started to develop and for the past 2-3 weeks it seems like he's 2 different people...sometimes he's extremely corny and sweet and he'll leave me these cute little notes saying he misses me, he'll tell me how beautiful I am and stare into my eyes for like an hour, and he says "I love you" to me all the time...but then there's this other side of him that will call me 'dude' and he'll treat me like I'm 'one of the guys', it almost seems like he doesn't even love me...like I'm just 'a buddy'...is it meee? Am I being a horrible girlfriend or something? It's just it makes me feel...i don't know...not special...I know that he can't be sweet and mushy all the time and I do understand he is a guy, but maybe I prefer to be the one at home saying, "Have fun at the game." Instead of actually going with him and feeling like I'm not his girlfriend. Am I overreacting? Does he still want a relationship or a friend with benefits?

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Hmm, well from what you're saying, I think that you're just overreacting. He can't be that way -all the time -! I mean, like you said, he's a guy. I don't think you should expect him to lose his testosterone or anything. I think he probably really cares about you and -does- want a relationship, based on what you said, it seems like he loves you. I wouldn't really be too worried about him doing "guy" things and having fun. However, if he's totally blowing you off, maybe you could ask him for some attention or ask him to spend some time with you. I wouldn't be too worried.

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I'm going with overreacting a bit also. Part of a good relationship, what makes it last, is also having a friendship and it seems that's a bit of what is happening. It's important to find a balance between being romantic and being comfortable, and I've found that evolves rather naturally in most relationships. It sounds like that's what's happening here.


The important thing to remember is that it is possible to get too comfortable, so make sure the romance doesn't stop entirely from either one of you. It's okay for it to become a bit less frequent though.


As far as the end of your post, if I'm reading it correctly he invites you along to ball games and such and you dislike that? I don't think inviting you along to something like that is necessarily treating you like a friend. I think that's him trying to share something he enjoys with someone he enjoys spending time with. If you really hate going that much then I'd tell him when you just don't feel like going and suggest he bring a friend. I wouldn't stop going entirely though. It's probably something that he's excited to share with you and I would suggest you go for the chance to spend some time with him while he's doing something he likes, if nothing else.


Reverse the situation, say you wanted him to come with you to see a play or the ballet or something like that. Wouldn't you feel kinda bad if he refused to because it's a "girl" thing and he doesn't want to seem like just a friend?

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