help?

[RLJ82]

I do not what to do with what I am currently dealing with in my relationship. Let me give you a bit of a backround to work with. I met my fiance over this website i frequent we have been together for nine months. He lives in Scotland and I live in the US. We just spent an entire month together and everything was perfect it always is when we are together. This is a really hard relationship to grasp in more then one way. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but there is a slight problem. I just found out last night that he attracted to his friends who happen to be female. After I was told not to hangout with a friend I am not attracted to who happens to be male. Then the conversation progressed and he told me about his best friends Brian and Claire. Well he told me he slept with Claire a bit ago when her and Brian were on the outs of course they are together again and have been since then. He told me he was 90% sure it was before we started dating. Well today I talked to him and he told me the date which was the 22nd of november. We started dating the 24th. We were talking seriously before we started dating. So I do not know what to think or do or even feel? I am hurt confused and angry with him. Another big thing is the fact that this just comes out and we have been together for 9 months. I do not know what to do? I have to file our Visa stuff next saturday and I am so screwed up right now. Can anyone help me or give me advice please?

[loveydovey]

So you want to be 100% certain that he does not have any ties with this woman? If you trust him with your heart, then you have to believe that he loves you and won't intentionally hurt you. Am I to understand that it was last November that this occurred? If it is, then is it at all possible for you to trust that all of it is in the past?

[stolenshadow]

Hi, I don't want to scare you but these are the signs: he makes you stop talking to a male friend, perhaps he thinks you're capable of cheating with friends? (see projection), he sleeps with his BEST friend's girl, does the friend knows this?, and then he's "90%" sure he didn't cheat, how come?, he forgot what he did?, he either cheated or not, why the other 10%?.

 

You have a right to feel angry and confused as he possibly (or 10%?) was being serious to you at the same time he was sleeping with the girl.

 

I don't know the guy so I cannot tell you he cheated or that he has done it before, so you need to talk about this more with him, ask him why he did it or why he suddenly decided to tell you, if you have doubts, if you think you can't go on or need time to re-evaluate things SAY IT, don't let all the time and work you have put into this relationship stop you from ending things if it's necessary.