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Would like some input-fast


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This may seem silly-I feel like I am a high school kid again! I am 36, divorced 6 years, and recently dating again. I have been seeing this guy 32, for almost a month. We have a great time together and he wants to pursue a relationship exclusively. Thing is, I am leaving for the shore for 2 weeks in 2 days. I asked him if he would like to come down and he said yes and is trying to get a couple of days off-great! My parents will be there and he is nervous, but willing to meet them-great! He calls yesterday and says he wants to stay in a hotel as he wants time alone with me-he says he can't keep his hands off me and he won't be able to be with me-sexually- with my parents there (yes-no boys allowed to sleep in my room even for a 36 divorced woman under their roof-can't say I disagree). I know the answer to my question here, but want some input as I've been out of the dating scene since my 20's. I really like the guy, physically and emotionally and I think he feels the same-but I think he should be able to see me without having sex for a least a few days! If he stays at a hotel, if he can even get one at this point, my parents would also think he is either anti-social or that he just wants to take their daughter to a hotel for sex! I know I need to dicuss this with him further, but does anyone have an opinion or input? At least he's being honest-maybe it's not that big of a deal and I should let him do what he feels most comfortable with?

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Tell him if he likes you that much he will tie a knot in it for two weeks and wait till you return from your parents so you can start an exclusive relationship the way YOU want to.

if he is in a hotel and you are at your parents, you will spend more time on the road between the two of them than enjoying any type of holiday yourself.

If he doesn't want to come with you, have a bit of fun late night texting, or ensure you chat on the phone each day, but I do feel he is putting to much presure on you at a family time.

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well personally...i would let him stay at the hotel because that is what would make HIM feel comfortable. you can tell your parents that also. plus he will have a haven to run off to to unwind since meeting your parents will actually be stressing.


and i think the sex will also help with the stress. i understand that he should be able to have a few days without it...but at the same time...the best part of the relationship is at the beginning when you two cant keep your hands off of each other.


i think if you DO have sex in the hotel room...that little vacation where he meets your parents and then totally ravages you later in the hotel room...will be a fantastic memory for you. i personally say...let him have the room for both his sake and yours. you shouldnt let your parents judgment interfere with your love life. they raised you and now you can do what you please with the moral system that they helped instill. you are old enough to have sex with your lover whenever you want now....it doesnt make you a bad person.


- ivy

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I see nothing wrong with him staying at a hotel, but I would only stay there maybe one or two nights total. It will make him feel more comfortable - I mean first time meeting your parents, it is a little much for him to stay there too I am sure!



Yes he should be able to go without for a few days, but I think it is totally natural to want to be intimate with the person you like and are on a vacation with!


You are 36, and old enough to be able to have sex with a partner - I totally understand respecting your parents rules, but nothing wrong with having your own little hideaway to go to.

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I agree... it's okay for him to stay in a hotel... you guys have only been seeing each other for a month... and he may not be fully comfortable with habitation with them at this point and that's okay. I give him major kudos for agreeing to go with you! I also appreciate his honesty... some guys would have gone to your parent's home and either tried to sneak off to "get some"... or complained secretly to you about wanting to "get some"... so he's definitely acting appropriately...



Re: your parents... I understand completely for I have a mom who does not recognize that I am multi-demensional... I am a woman... and I am her daughter... so the rules of my childhood still apply... I don't like it at all, however when parents have wills of steel... tis not much you can do nor will your defiance towards them accomplish anything 'cept disaster (LOL)... so relax... spend time with them along with your new guy... and then don't be guilty about venturing off a couple of nights to "get your groove on"... and don't let any form of insecurity enter your mind in thinking that the "sex" is the major feature of your new relationship... if it were he probably would not want to be around your family yet. That's just my opinion... 8)


By the way... congratulations on finding a decent guy who does not mind being exclusive... enjoy this time in your life... you deserve it sister-girl! 8)

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I totally respect my parents' views-I wouldn't even dream of staying at the hotel with him!!!! I ended up talking to my boyfriend and he is willing to stay in the house in a separete bedroom. Thanks for the advice and input-just needed to talk it out.

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