Is my cop boyfriend cheating or is he just really popular???

[Adutchcookie]

Okay, i am new here, but I could desperately use some help. Recently I started dating this cop. He is great, everything that I though never existed in a guy. Almost too perfect, you know? But over time, I have gotten to know his whole family & I spend every night at his house with him, so I know where he's sleeping. But lately he has been getting phone calls from several girls. One who he said he fixed a ticket for & now she keeps calling him asking how she can "repay" him. Then there's this trustee who he sees every week who writes him love letters, then there are various others, who I don't know anything about but who he seems awfully secret about He swears that he would never cheat on me, but on the same token he is extremely suspicious of me cheating on him. He said that if I even had coffee with another man that he would be through with me. Maybe this is because his ex-wife cheated on him after 27 years, maybe he really is cheating & trying to transfer his guilt onto me..

Any how, he doesn't appear to be cheating on me, but the behaviour & these women all make me think twice. Another thing that gets me is that he leaves women's numbers on the night stand with the obvious intention of me finding them & getting jealous. I always play it cool & act as if I haven't seen it. The last thing that has me worried is that when he told me about how he keeps pictures of the people he loves in the pocket in his bullet proof vest, he said there was a picture of me in there. When I looked, There were three pictures, one of an angel, one of his daughter & one of him & his Ex-wife!! WHY even lie about that? It's not that I am jealous of his ex-wife. they spent 27 yrs togeth & they have 2 beautiful kids.. but I just don't get why he would blatantly lie about having a picture of me in there? I could really use some helpful advice. Maybe it's obvious to you , but I am stuck in it & I can't see the forest for the trees.

 

Thanks!

[WildChild]

Geez, my first thought was if you were my sister, I would tell ya to get the hell out and don't look back. Somethin' doesn't seem right. Sorry, probably not what ya wanted to hear but he almost seems possessive in a passive way.

[Royltnxile]

A guy I work with once told me that there were 2 occupations that women should never date or marry. Cops and bartenders. The guy that told me that had been both in his lifetime...and he is on his 6th marriage!

[Mun]

I don't know how to say this exactly, but honey, even if he is NOT cheating his behavior is disrespectful to you. He is blatantly lying and provoking your jealousy, insecurity and anger( ?) Why are you still there? Are you waiting for him to really cheat and then be done with it?

 

I think his behavior is very telling of his true feelings for you. Words are cheap, always pay attention to a persons actions. Look at that and ask yourself if that sounds like love to you?

 

You can do better girl.

 

Chin up!

[saltwatergirl]

I always play it cool & act as if I haven't seen it.

 

You're first mistake. Time to start kickin a#$ and takin names.

 

Salt

[Strictly4MyGrind]

Now why would he give his number to someone who he gave a ticket to? just out of the blue? is that even allowed cause it sure isnt in this country.... and i reckon hes disrespecting you too and you deserve better but then again i dont know the whole story...... i reckon you should be talking to him and if he lisens hes worth your time if not find someone els!

[Adutchcookie]

Thanks everyone for your insight. It's complicated because this man in all other ways has treated me much better than any other man has & he wants to spend all his time with me. He's extremely affectionate, passionate & willing to help me in any way. he always says the things that make me feel better, but then there is that other side which I previously wrote about & which you all pretty much agree is disrepectful & inappropriate behavior, so I know now what I have to do. First I am going to confront him about it, because I really like him & his family and I really want things to work out, and if he feeds me more [censored] then I guess I will be back here asking you all for more advice on how to get over a break up. I really appreciate people like all of you who take the time to try to help someone who you don't even know. I just found this site, but there have been plenty of times that I could have used your advice before. you guys are really helping me to stay strong. Last night, by the way, ( the day I got all of your responses to my original post) was the first night in the last 6 weeks that I didn't spend the night at his place. It was rough, but I made it , and you all are giving me the strenght to keep moving in the right direction.

Thanks again!