really like this guy at work..

[midnight]

Theres this guy at work, hes not really that cute, but I think he is cute, he has a great personality, is an awesome guy, and we have so much in common. He always talks with such a gentle voice, and lately he and I have been really flirting. So I"ll give the details just cuz I want someone to analyze the situation to see what they think and what I should do...

 

So, at the beginning he didn't talk much. He is very shy. I didn't say much to him, but we got to working together and talking together and now we could go on for hours and not run out of things to say. He always is happy to see me, happy to be working with me, when we get off at the same time he always asks if he can walk with me cuz (sometimes) he goes the same way home as me. Well, I say about half the time he asks to walk with me, sometimes he just takes off... but now that we are closer, well yea. Ok. So theres that. Then the other day he started showing concern with me because I had this meeting with the managers and he was all asking "are you ok? Is everything ok? I hope you're not in trouble" and i was like "oh no, its just a meeting, everything is fine", and he was like "are you ok though?" and I was like "yea, except for this headache I've had for 3 days". And then he asks me all about my headache and if I'm stressed and why I'm stressed out and sounds really concerned. We flirt a lot, just like making lots of jokes with each other and lots of eye contact, and smiles, and laughing, and he is a great guy. *sigh* Been a good while since I've had a crush like this.

 

Ok, so the problem is, 1) i'm not entirely sure he likes me. 2) Know he won't ask me out cuz he's shy and I'm a big flirt anyways so I flirt with a lot of people but he might not know i'm REALLY into him. 3) I will have to ask him out - so how should i go about doing this, i tried asking him out for drinks after work and he said he can't... i don't think he really drinks, which is why he said no. but there is a couple company events coming out that we can hang out at that MIGHT give me a bit of an in.

[RooferGirl23]

the fact that he shows deep concern for your feelings and health is a good sign for you that he getting more into you. Being shy that he is, it can be a very hard thing to muster up courage to go out, so have some patients with that. Mabe if you toned down flirting with others around work, it will show him that the treatment he gets from you IS special.

I think you have a good thing going here, and my best of luck for you both!!!!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

From a shy guy's perspective:

 

Say he likes you, and you flirt with him. He thinks you like him and he probably tries to gather up the courage to ask you out. But if he sees you flirting with others, he will take it as you liking him as much as but not more than the other guys, thereforeeee he eliminates himself as a potential and sees himself as among the whole bunch. In other words he will feel like, in your eyes, he is nothing special.

 

If he is something special to you, I would suggest you telling him or showing him before he locks his "nothing special" thinking in his mind. A shy person generally has low self esteem and needs a pick-me-up to get him/her going. We need some sort of special attention even though we do not ask for it. If you flirt with him then flirt with another guy, how is he to feel special? If you let him know, then the other flirting won't knock his esteem down.

 

I would tell him. I believe he likes you but sees himself as nothing special, thereforeeee he will bottle his feelings up. It looks like it is up to you to make the first move because chances are he may not.