The Whole Ex Factor!!

[SharaRose]

Hey all, im new to this so here i go……

I've been with my boyfriend for about 7months... it hasn't been an easy relationship to be in, meaning my mother doesn't approve of him. It's mostly got to do with he's nationality and age.

Besides that everything between us is fine, we enjoy each others company. It's like we've known each other forever.

 

He hasn't been in a relationship for the last 4 years so once we got together.

He's ex girlfriend, which he dated when he was 19, then on and off since then, now wants him back!! She was his first love which u always remember! and I understand that.

But she never reciprocated the same feelings he felt back then...

Now after 9 years she has realized that she loves him! which at the time he told me before we started dating, he could never get back with her coz of the history that they have.. she's hurt him several times.

 

And at that time i really liked him, so i started dating him. I knew deep down. What am I getting myself into?? But I still took the chance and knew the consequence if it didn't work out....

She basically told him not date me and for him to wait for her....

At the moment she's in England for work, she's been there for 2 years so they haven't seen each for a while.

We haven't spoken about her since, when he told me that she wanted him back and that was like 7months ago.

 

The thing is I want to take things slow with him he's 28 and I'm 21, he wants me to move in with him, which at this point of time im not ready for that sort of commitment. But of course she is ready for that commitment.

So we had a fight the other night and of course he brings up he's ex!

By saying if u cant commit don't waste my time my ex comes back next month!!...... Which that hurt me so much for him to say that...

I was totally upset and told him get back with her then. Im not going to sit here and compete for you... he was sorry for what he said, and that he only loves me.....

Once he's ex gets back next month he wants use both to meet up with her and let her know we r together.... I DONT want to really meet up with her, but I don't really want him going alone... his told me she's very manipulative, and im sure she would play with he's emotions.... he recently got he's own apartment and of course she's asked if she can stay for a bit till she finds her own apartment....I've basically told him how I feel about that, and he totally agrees with me on it..

 

I've spoken to a couple of people and they think, I shouldn't go with him when he catches up with her, just keep away from the whole ex thing... I totally trust him, I don't trust her, especially the things he's told me about her..... one of my work mates told me u can never change the heart the way it feels about someone, so I guess im just going to have to wait and see once she gets back how he really feels about her......

 

Do you guys think I should go with him? Or let him go alone with her?? I'd appreciate any advice. Thx~ sorry that its long

[sidehop]

She DOES sound very manipulative...but I just don't see the point of you going with him, don't get me wrong, it may be the safest choice even though you trust him. But if his girl is wanting him back so bad she'll do anything to pull him away from you. You already mentioned she's his first love. That makes things little more complicated if they were serious.

 

I just have a feeling he's put himself in a spot where he's confused. If I were you, I would take it slow and perhaps back off to see how he really feels. If he truly loves you & cares about you he will do the right thing...