Girls & Masterbation?

[SlipperySammy]

My question is how frequently do women masterbate. I know every one is different, and thier probably is no norm, but my girlfriend has NEVER touched her self in any sexual way and I think that is kinda messed up.

 

I asked her why, and she says she just never has. I think she actually said she tried it one time but didn't like it.

 

I guess I am just trying to understand her better and I have hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that in 23 years she has never touched her self like that.

[pizzachick13]

i don't want to sound like a *beep* here but i don't think that she's telling the truth. just about every woman i know masturbates... even i do. i think it's hard to imagine a woman who doesn't... i mean, c'mon. what are you supposed to do when the man/woman pool is dry for a while? not bother??

[sweetheart4ever]

Then again, i know a girl who thinks of it as purly descusting. i mean..just how you look at things, she is allso scared of penis's so..it could be true..but idk..most wemon/girls do do it. some may stop for certian reasons. but they do it sooner or later..

[dancesinquicksand]

This is a very touchy subject with some women. Unfortunately there are alot of outside influences that could be stopping your friend from feeling comfortable enough to masturbate. It has long been assumed taboo in our society for women to give self pleasure. And unfortunately even today when we are more sexually open a lot of people still harbor that feeling that it is wrong. Did she have old fashioned parents. What religion is she. All of these things can play a factor in how comfortable we our with ourselves. The bottom line is, that there is no right or wrong when it comes to masturbation. If she is comfortable with her sex life and feels open with a partner then she is not out of the normal if she does not choose to masterbate.

[sweetheart4ever]

And if she feels that the sex life is bad so she does do it, how she going to tetll someone she loves?or even..

 

If she tells you she does masterbate she might feel that you would think she does it cuz you arnt good enough n she doesnt want that..

[cichlid]

I don't masturbate. I have in the past, I will admit that, but I stopped because it got boring and because it is sinful (my church's opinion...and yes, I try to follow my religion as best I can). You guys can tell me all you want how you don't think it's wrong...but I won't listen. LOL!

[Lexicon85]

I didn't masturbate once until I was... eighteen, almost nineteen. The reason I didn't was that I didn't know how. When I was raped, I decided I had better get control of my body now, and never need a man... I figured out how to give myself an orgasm and since then it can be anywhere from 0 to 3 times a day, but I suppose it averages out to once a day, unless I get play that day., of-course. Does your girlfriend know HOW to masturbate? Can she give herself orgasm? I know this is a sensitive subject, but are you sure she isn't deceiving you or herself about orgasm? I was that way before I figured it out.

[Shadows Light]

Well.. I think I found myself at a young age... maybe... 12/13 or so...

and... no one told me about it. It was nature taking its course. Did I think it was wrong... YEP. Why? Well you hear kids at school make fun of other kids.."Jerking" off and you think its wrong. Kind of like ... hmmm picking your nose.. or passing gas...everybody does it... no one admits it...and keeps it private. Sorry for the analogy but its the best I can think of.

 

Is it possible that a person doesn't masterbate...????????? Yes.. suppose it is... there are posts here that sight religious reasons... BTW. The reason the bible say's is wrong is because its spilling your seed to the ground. It was written during a time when your job was to propogate...and to "be fruitful and multiply".. in the old testament there is a reference to (I forget the passage and whom).. a gentlemen spilling his seed to the ground. Well... what should have he done??? found the first female and impregnated her... ??? hmmmmm. I think he was better off spilling his seed than being sexually frustrated and who knows.. committing a worse "sexual crime"... taking by force. but thats my opinion. Sorry.. I'm a history buff..and religious beliefs are a pet favorite of mine... where they came from.. why... etc etc. "Be fruitful and multiply" may have been a good idea for those times...but in today's society... we've got enough mouths to feed. (the end of that tid-bit).

 

I don't see anything wrong with Masturbation... but its a personal thing.

What may be the norm for one person is not for another. When I was younger.. hmmmm what was the "NORM" depends... on what time of the month it was... what my libido was doing at the time... and whether or not I just read a Romance Novel or seen a movie that flipped my lid..and I needed to channel the energy somewhere. GRANTED.. I'd rather channel my energy with a man these days...but if there's none around when the NEED strikes... You gotta do what you gotta do.

 

incidentally... would not bother me in the least knowing my BF did what he had to do when I wasn't around. I'd rather he did that.... then.. ummm find other avenues to release on.

[RayKay]

It is quite possible for a woman not to masturbate - there are times it is due to "religious" reasons, but other times it is simply a fear, or lack of awareness about the normality of it, or that it is healthy, or even just a general lack of understanding about their bodies. A lot even think sex is dirty, their bodies are dirty, so masturbation is dirty.

 

Masturbation is perfectly normal, and very healthy. Not only does it get you in touch (no pun intended!) with your likes and dislikes, it feels good, gets your endorphins going and has other side benefits (is great for relieving menstrual cramps/stress for example). And of course, it allows you to be able to show your partner what you like - I think often women "expect" a man to just know, and sure, many will "know" where the clitoris is, or such, but every woman is different and what works for one, might not work for another! Some might like more pressure, some might prefer penetration for orgasm, others constant friction on the clitoris, with fingers exploring other areas and so on. I think it is unfair to think that our partner should just "know"!

 

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with it (unless you miss your entire teenage/adulthood locked in room masturbating and never see another person again!). As Shadow cited above, even the "religious" reasons are often taken at face value, and not interpreted for the times.

 

When I was single, I probably masturbated about 3-4+ times a week, and first learned about it when I was about 13. Now, I live with my partner, so it tends to happen only while he is away on business/athletic trips or I am away myself or something like that, and then it might be once a day or so.

 

It's too bad your girlfriend is like that, Sammy, it might be part/tied to the other problems I know you two have in that area, though knowing "why" she feels that way, because it must be more than she "just never has" - either she has never desired to and has a terribly low libido, or has other feelings around it that give her reason not to. I am not sure how she tried it and how she did "not like it" - maybe she should look into a small vibrator and a book of women's erotic literature...I don't know how one could NOT like that

[chai714]

I'm surprised nobody addressed the fact that she could have been sexually abused as a child. Often times, this distorts ones view on sex in general and often times sexual abuse survivors are grossed out by sexual activities including masturbation. Usually, women who were sexually abused as a child either go to one extreme or the other - completely grossed out by sex OR just completely and overly promiscuous. The psychology behind her being overly promiscuous is her subconscious trying to make the sexual abuse less significant. But in her case, it could be the opposite to where she was so traumatized that she doesn't want to reconcile with the deep feelings she's keeping inside.

[SlipperySammy]

No sexual abuse...atleast I am almost sure.

 

It isn't the biggst deal in the world to me that she doesn't, but since we have had trouble in the bedroom in our relationship it makes me wonder if there is a coeralation. I also would just like to know her better and and why she might be like this.

 

She told me that she NEVER even tried or touched herself until age 22, when I asked her about it and I said it was kinda weird that she didn't. After I told her that, she tried it one time and said she 'thought of me' but she wasn't into it. I have casually encourged her to try it more often, and some times when we are fooling around I encourage her to touch her self but she either says "it feels better when you do it." or she only does for a second.

 

 

PS no religion factors either, she is agnostic, and her parents are casual church goers.

[SlipperySammy]

Also just an FYI it I am not all stressed out about this or anything, I am just bored and this crossed my mind.

[dancesinquicksand]

Men are typically more open with there sexuality. thereforeeee taking the leap to having her touch herself in front of you might be a bit too fast.

Now the question is does she reach orgasm with you . I know its hard to tell if she is indeed, or just faking it. But sometimes it just takes time to be comfortable around another person before you are able to open up completely. Maybe try other things, like having her touch herself while you touch her as well. Take some of the pressure off of her. And most of all try not to make her feel abnormal if she is not masturbating. Sometimes it just takes time.

[SlipperySammy]

She reaches orgasm with me but not every time. If she initiates (which is rare) she probably will...if I Initiate she does some times, but alot of the time I have a sense that she isn't turned on enough... If she doesn't she tells me it still felt really good, but what is she going to tell me...it didn't feel good?

 

I tried the 'touch yourself while I touch you thing' she will do that some times, not in a while though.

[MetaRidley123]

Well my girlfriend has only done it a few times, and she just seems to think its wrong, but just last night I got her to try out phone sex, and she just started masterbating and reached her climax. But she told me the only reason she could do it was because she knew I was on the other line "motivating her" and it just got her to doing it. My point is that some women may just feel uncomfortable with it and rather not masterbate. As a guy, there are times when I go weeks without doing it. I guess it just depends on the situation. Don't force her into anything, but I believe by slowing giving her support about it will eventually allow to her to open up. Once you have felt pleasure, you only want more.

[ComputerGuy]

I don't masturbate. I have in the past, I will admit that, but I stopped because it got boring and because it is sinful (my church's opinion...and yes, I try to follow my religion as best I can). You guys can tell me all you want how you don't think it's wrong...but I won't listen. LOL!

 

Your honest, determined, yet cynical/sarcastic attitude is quite intriguing

 

There are lots of things that influence this such as personal experiences, upbringing, religion like cichlid_chick pointed out...There is no real right and wrong in this matter, it's a personal issue and it comes down to how the person feels themself about the issue (or doesnt feel themself as the case would be

[itsmenicole]

I started when I was 15 and like someone else said I didn't really know what was up I just happened upon it accidentally. And I haven't stopped since. That was 14 years ago! Maybe your g/f doesn't enjoy it but I bet she's at least tried it. I hate that you haven't had the pleasure of watching her do it. My b/f loves that!

[SilenThunder]

my g/f just told me last night she has never masterbated in her life... Nor has she had any sexual experience with a guy beyond kissing! She's 19!

 

I have to believe her, we were having a very serious conversation and for her to lie to me at that time... Just wouldn't happen... So... I'm befuddled

 

To top it off, she's is very attractive, great body and constantly hit on by guys... Super outgoing... It doesn't add up! lol

[WildChild]

I guess I didn't really actively masturbate until probably a year and a half ago. I had experimented a few times but did not feel comfortable doing so. My primary reasons were because of how people perceive that it is "sinful" and I felt "cheap" or wrong for doing it. Since I hit my 30's I have found it more satisfying. Of course I wouldn't announce it to people let's say if I walked into a bank LOL LOL but I would discuss with people I can trust. I guess I've learned to really enjoy it and I find it makes my sex life more fulfilling. Since I've become more active, I've tried new things, climax everytime my bf and I have sex and feel sexually satisfying for both myself and my bf.

[arcane5]

I hate that you haven't had the pleasure of watching her do it. My b/f loves that!

 

Yeah, I have to side with your boyfriend. Recently I convinced my girlfriend to use a vibrator on herself in front of me... that was a huge turn-on even though I had no contact with her. I guess it has to do with the intimacy involved.