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Fling, falling in love, not reciprocated, HELP!!!

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Hey all,

I have been have a fling with a man at work for five weeks now. At first we agreed that it would simply be a fling, nothing serious, so we got together a bit and did some sexual experimentation with swinging and meeting people in car parks.

He is eleven years older than me, which I don't consider a problem. Personally I am not really into the swinging scene though.


The thing is, I am really falling for the guy in a big way! I want nothing more than to be with him, and not just for sex anymore. I wanna be with him every minute of every day and night, but he has made it clear that he will not go out with me because of the age difference between us.


So today I met another guy who asked me to come and see him at work (he works nights) and I agreed. Being annoying with the guy I am seeing because he blew me off tonight when he said he would come round but didn't, I texted him saying I was going to see this guy. He texted back saying,

"Some guy?"

I didn't reply. He then said,

"Please don't do anything else. Please X."

I didn't reply as I was so angry that he didn't want me as his girlfriend but didn't want anyone else to have me either. Then he said,

"Will you text me! X Please."

No reply, then...

"I know I don't have you. But I don't wanna lose you."

That made me feel happy, angry, confused and hurt, then he sent me,

"Ok, I take the hint. You go have fun with him. Why do you do this?"

He got so angry that I wasn't replying to him and not the other way round for a change.

Eventually I replied saying,

"I'm not doing anything. I am starting to get some serious feelings for you and it is scary because I know this isn't going to go anywhere. I just want to be with you all the time and I can't. I don't understand why I am feeling this way as all we ever do is sleep together, but I am and I don't want to get hurt again."

He didn't reply.


So basically, I am confused about the way is acting. When I think of him my heart skips a beat and it really feels like falling in love which I don't want to do as I just think he'll hurt me.


So if anyone could shed some light on my situation I would be very grateful, and really consider any advice.


Thanks guys


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Don't get too angry with him - it is you who is changing the basis of the relationship from what you agreed in the first place.


Decide what you want from him. Then tell him what it is. If he cannot, or will not, give you what you want then let him go and find someone who will.


Seems like another case of friends with benefits not working. Simone one always seems to want more sooner or later, and then, very often, feelings get hurt.

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The problem with this scenerio, is you want him to be in a relationship with you now.. The truth is he's probably got a couple other girls he's seeing currently and your just in the mix of things. He doesn't want to lose a good lay, and you really shouldn't of told him nothing more than what your relationship is. Friends with benefits. He know knows you care about him and he's gonna take advantage of that most likely. Because it was friends with benefits thing in his mind from the start. Your gonna get your heart broken eventually if you really expect anything more from this guy, goodluck

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You will totaly get a busted n broken heart if you even see this guy any more, there is now way to stop your feelings of wanting more from him, you just cant tell yourself bad, go have sex with him and it all be good, 1st mistake telling him about the other guy, dont let him know that you are out with other people 2 telling him you want more...but now that you did both, i suggest you find out what you want from him now, and it cant just be sex cuz i garinty it wont work after yer feelings for him, and then you need to demand he give you that, or nothing, dont bat aroung the bush as dn said. go straight for the gold or nothing at all, set yourself up for the worst, he seems like a "player" so i say make yourself think he is gonig to say nothing, cuz more then likly he will, then it wont hurt so bad, dont show him your hurt or so much excitment either, then if he says no i think you should presue this thing with this other guy..maybe it will work...GOOD LUCK!

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