First Date Opinions Needed

[heartbroken23]

Hi all,

 

First date with a girl. I was thinking of bringing this girl to a nice restaurant on the water, and the maybe take a walk on the beach. What do you guys think? It is about a 45 minute drive from where we live. Any thoughts? I deas? Reccomendations? Ideas of what do do while on the beach..(It may be dark)?? Just thinking now

[confusedgrl23]

wow thats nice! I want a date like that!!

 

Even if it is 45min drive, it will give you guys time to chat. Just make sure she knows that the place is 45min away...

Goodluck, I like that idea!

[Beec]

It sounds to me like you are trying to create a wonderful, romantic date that will impress her. Frankly, it is a bad move. Take her to decent, reasonably priced place, with some, but not much atmosphere.

 

I live in NYC. getting out of a restaurant for anything less than $40 a head is cheap. My favorite first date spot is a simple Italian place (everyone like Italian) that serves basic Italian dishes. It has a cold antipasta plate that I like to roder for when she chooses to have nothing before the entree. I order it and we split it, or both pick at it. I have never spent more than $80 on any one dinner there. And I have gotten out for close to half of that. It basically has never failed me as a first date spot.

 

Try to make it fancy and impressive, and you are trying to impress her. Trying to impress her, well that is just a bad move.

[lady00]

Beec...could you elaborate? Why don't you like his idea? You seem to think it would backfire, I'm just wondering why. If I were the woman, I would really like what he has planned actually...but maybe you have had different experiences?

[heartbroken23]

Beec,

 

I see what you are saying, but the restuarant is not too overyly priced. Entrees run 20-30 dollars a piece...and I live in Fairfield County in Connecticut, so that is basically common. I jsut dont want treat her like an ordinary girl and bring her to a chillie's or somthing. I like the beach idea because it it different and there is nothing like that in my town. i don't want to do the Dinner and a movie thing...just somthing different and not too common.

[Beec]

First, you can work to impress a woman, but never on a first date. A first date is a getting to know you thing. If you work on "impressing" her, then it seems like you need to buy her with gifts or toher things. The idea of a guy showing up with flowers on a first date may sound good, but it is not. The diea of taking her to a fancy French place on a first date is also awful. It should just be the two of you sitting down to decent meal, and it should not be took much else. What you say and how you act are the important things, and for that take a look at one of my recent posts, it's from this morning and the guy is seeing her Sunday.

 

Your attitude is much more important than your wallet. You want her to be attracted to you, not what you buy for her.

 

BTW, I grew up in the same area. Moved away in the last decade.

[Day_Walker]

It seems too heavy for a first date. I see that your idea is to take her to a nice place and make her seem like she is special but you want to see how she is going to think of you doing this. Since its a first date why not keep the date to something fun and light. The problem with your idea is that it comes off that you are trying to impress her, the 45 min drive and the romantic setting, then a walk on the beach seems more approrpriate when there should be romance and thats after you know the person.

[Beec]

It seems too heavy for a first date. I see that your idea is to take her to a nice place and make her seem like she is special but you want to see how she is going to think of you doing this. Since its a first date why not keep the date to something fun and light. The problem with your idea is that it comes off that you are trying to impress her, the 45 min drive and the romantic setting, then a walk on the beach seems more approrpriate when there should be romance and thats after you know the person.

 

BINGO.

[heartbroken23]

ok...then what do u guys reccommend besides "Dinner and a Movie"

[heartbroken23]

OK it seems like the guys are telling me one thing, girls another thing..... Keep any thoughts coming...girls and guys.

[lady00]

Every girl is different. Personally, I would be happy to have a first date like the one you described. Others will feel differently.

[bbgriff44]

I think the most important thing is that you are comfortable on a first date. You have it easy. FInd something that YOU like to do and that will make the date 10 times better for both of you - a place where you feel relaxed and where she will hopefully miror that feeling. If you enjoy the beach and fine dining, go with it. If not, ask yourself where you would be the most comfortable. My personal favorite, b/c this is what I like to do, is showing my date something she has never seen like a stream hidden in the woods or a restaurant that has amazing food and local culture. Itend to ramble...I'll stop

[Beec]

I think the most important thing is that you are comfortable on a first date. You have it easy. FInd something that YOU like to do and that will make the date 10 times better for both of you - a place where you feel relaxed and where she will hopefully miror that feeling. If you enjoy the beach and fine dining, go with it. If not, ask yourself where you would be the most comfortable. My personal favorite, b/c this is what I like to do, is showing my date something she has never seen like a stream hidden in the woods or a restaurant that has amazing food and local culture. Itend to ramble...I'll stop

 

Unique, different is very good, but it should not be weird. I like to do two things on the first two dates. One, usually the first date is just talk. Dinner is a good time to do it. The second thing is to have fun. Romance is not something I try to insert in a first or second date. If you are attracted to each toher, the romance will come.

 

The favorite Italian place I mentioned has a pastry / coffee place nearby. I like to have dinner, tell her to not order dessert there and then take her for coffee and dessert at the pastry place. Works well. Not sure where you can do that. I remember a place I used to do it with in Greenwhich.

 

With something fun, you can mix them into your dates at any time. I have taken women ice skating, which is a bit romantic, but it is also not some place where I can be putting moves on. If you go to the beach, why else would you go there, but to be romantic. And if she is not comfortable getting into a make out session with you, then the walk on the beach won't be successful.

 

As much as you needing to feel comfortable, she also needs to feel comfortable.

[chai714]

I tend to agree with Beec and Day_Walker on this one.

 

I dated a woman for a couple months, and never went to the movies. For our first date, we went to dinner at an Italian joint then to play some miniature golf. It's good to have an activity date because it give you something to do while you talk. Any "downtime" is normal and there are no moments of silence because you can watch others play or watch her play. Remember, you don't want too much too soon otherwise you're setting the standards for yourself way too high. Also, that level of romance on the first date would probably cause some discomfort for her.

 

While your idea of romance would seem idea to most any female, in reality it's not what women want (on the first date). There's no need to fancy someone you hardly know . . instead, fancy her later if she makes the cut. Also, pay attention to her likes and interests . . .learn about them, and use them on future dates.

[heartbroken23]

Ok guys...well I am kinda leaning on scratching the reataurant on the water an beach thing..maybe another time. How about the driving range and getting some dinner, then ice-cream. Maybe go to the park? I guess my main goal is for it not to be your predictable, typical date.

[Beec]

A combination of the driving range, a nice but reasonable dinner and ice cream, well that just sounds pretty good.

 

If I could, I would try to set up the dinner and ice cream to be within walking distance. Why? So you could walk there, of course. The thing is what you do on the walk there, and it is a thing I call the hand bump, which I describe in this thread:

 

link removed

 

The thing with moves on her is that you do not want to be timid, but you also don't want to plow right in without having signals to go ahead. By use of body language you ask and she tells you yes or no, but it does not get said in express language. If the answer is no, you accept the answer and keep going as if nothing happened.

 

And to read about how I think you should act during the date, take a look at my post from this morning in:

 

link removed

[heartbroken23]

Sweet Beec..i got you. I think I have a few ideas in mind on where to go. thanks bro

[bridget74]

It does sound like a nice date, but I almost agree with the too much for a first date theme. I might feel intimidated and think you were too into me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but sometimes ppl get nervous if they think you are more into them then they are ready for. I like dinner, and movies is bad for a first date because you can't talk. If you don't think dinner is enough, then maybe dinner and an activity like mini golf (still nice and hot weather in CT). Icecream is good too, unless ofcourse you guys are still full from dinner. I agree with your not wanting it to be common, so find a restaurant better then a chain. You can always check out link removed for ideas.