jealousy :(

[catgirl82]

i hate myself for feeling this way but here goes:

one of my best friends in the world met this guy online and things between them are going so well. theyve been talking on the phone every day and met a coupel of times- hes moving to our city very soon and i think when he does, they will start dating seriously.

 

heres the thing- shes always sort of been my partner in crime- we have tons in common and are pretty much at the same point in our lives- except now im single and shes not.

 

i KNOW i should be very happy for her. i want her to be happy, her happiness does mean alot to me. but a part of me is jealous of her and i feel terrible that she has a boyfriend and i dont. its hard to be happy for peopel when youre not happy yourself.

 

i feel so embarrassed for feeling this way, i never wanted to be this sort of friend. ive been really good about hiding my jealousy and acting very happy for her- asking questions, cheering her on, being supportive.

 

this is not to say that im not at all happy for her- i am, i guess just not as happy as i should be.

 

to top it off, she is the nicest person and is always so happy for other people no matter whats goign on in her life

 

i feel so guilty and bad about all this

[Beec]

How you feel is natural. Acting on it would not be good, but you are not. You just need to deal with the feelings that you may, at times, be missing your friend. I would deal with this like any break up. Keep busy, find some other things to do, etc. The less time you have to think about it, the easier it will be.

[catgirl82]

its not just that im upset b/c i wont get to see her/talk to her as much. im upset because her having a boyfriend is like a constant reminder of my singlehood. i feel like im failing in that part of my life. ugh, i hate being this negative

[Beec]

OK, so what can you do abotu changing you being single? Why are you single?

 

I'm sure it is nto a one word answer, but love and dating involve a set of skills and behaviors. Analyze your game, figure out where it is weak, practice it and make it better.

[Blue Skittles]

i've gone through this with my friends all the time, one of us finds a boyfriend, the other jealous. Just accept where you are at and who you are and be there for her, cuz when she has relationship issues shes gonna want someone to turn to. Besides... being single is SOOOOO much more fun than having a serious boyfriend (trust me). You can flirt with whoever you want, do what ever you want, not have someone watching every move you make, and you are freee! its great. And besides, theres always too much pain and heartbreak in serious relationships. So, there are advantages to being single. Enjoy it!

[Paco]

Try to get a boyfriend that you can trust and deal with and then you get rid of the problem of not having a boyfriend.

[Lostinthestars16]

Its natural to feel that way. I was single for about 3 years between one relationship and another and i often found myself being jealous of my firends and their relationships. What you have to keep in mind is that it's just a matter of time before you find someone just as good for you.

[Lana0120]

Don't feel guilty, it's normal. Just as long as it doesn't affect the way you treat her and that she doesn't start completely neglecting you. I had one friend where it's like, 'I have a boyfriend, goodbye,' 'I split up with my boyfriend and need friends now, hello'. You seem like a good person and maybe you'll even meet a guy of your own now. Maybe her boyfriend has a cute friend? ;-)