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Difficulties...How do you tell someone you cut...?


Lost1n7heDark

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These kinds of forums are getting slightly unorthodox...but...

I've been cutting for what, about almost a year. The first few times, then I stopped for over half a year, then it just happened again. It just kept on hapening, I stop against for about 6 weeks, then it became even more consistent than usual. My wrist has become so crowded, I cut now on my upper arm, so that a short sleeve will cover all of it. I've gone through this whole time, and nobody's noticed, thankfully. But now I really do believe I need some help, my cuts have been steadily getting deeper, and bloodier, I'm sad to say...

I'm just asking for advice, how do you tell someone you cut, and need their support? I know some people I trust enough, but I'm just not sure how I'm going to break it to them, considering that cutting isn't usually an open thing. I prefer head to head confessions, not email or letters, but seeing that I'm not exactly a people person, I'm afraid I'll back out in last minute. I just want to be sure of myself before I can ask them for their support. I'm not sure if I'm ready to stop, but I know that sometime in the future, I want to stop.

And seeing that I'm a sophomore in high school, and all my 'friends' are older than me, I'm also afraid of how they'll react to what I tell them. I know that if they react to me like I'm some kind of freak, I made a very bad choice. But right now, I'm willing to make that risk, for the sake of my future, and for the sake of my parents ever finding out(God forbid). So, if you can give me some advice as to how to tell someone I cut, it'd be very much appreciated.

Thanks you guys.

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Why not try seeking therapy first on your own? Talk to the therapist about how you should confront your friends with your problem. I know a support group is good in times like these, so maybe your therapist can direct you towards other people your age that are dealing with the same problem.

 

There's always a chance that by telling a friend, they may decide to tell your parents for you. Even most trusted friends can be very overwhelmed by drastic news like that and end up tallking to the parents about what's going on. Maybe you should just talk to your parents about it. Yeah, they will probably be really upset and have a very ugly reaction at first, but they love you more than anyone else ever will. They will help you through this. That's what a family is for.

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Therapy. Never been, but it's just not an option I've even wanted to consider. I know I know, it supposedly helps some, but I don't get along with people, so....yeah.

 

My parents...Hah. That's a funny thought. I would never live up to it if I ever told them. I love them to death, but it's just I don't want to disappoint them even more than I already have. They're too good for me, and I don't want them to feel as though they did something wrong. Thanks for all your advice. It's really appreciated. This crap cutters are going through is sometimes overwhelming. It's hard to stop, hard to hide, and hard to avoid others. Overall it's hard.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have an ugly scar on my upper right arm that I put these with a hot penny. I did it because this girl really went out of her way to hurt me, but it seemed like I could only handle it with physical pain.

 

It's not a normal way of dealing with pain, but for some people it works. Some think that it has become fashionable, but here it is some 8 years later and I can still remember that day as vivid as yesterday.

 

I was a little older than you when I did it, but if you are really wanting to stop doing this, find out what is causing your pain, and make it go away. You will become a stronger person because of it. You're friends do not have to know about this, but if you need help, I suggest talking to a school counselor. They may tell your parents, but you don't want them finding out by catching you in the act.

 

I hope you fix your situation. Best wishes.

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Okay I used to same thing cutting on my uper arms so know would notice. I kept cutting deeper and deeper and I couldn't stop. But my friend notice once. But for some reason she couldn't tell that I kept doing it. I guess I stopped not by telling anyone, but b/c I realized if I am going to family somday and I will it through all of the depression, i don't want my kids asking me bout scars on my arm. I had to quit. I guess this sounds pathetic but it's the truth. I still have the urge to do cut, but I do other things to get things my mind.

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  • 1 year later...

I started cutting about 3 months ago and have continued to do so on and off since. I hate doing it because i know it's not the best way to deal with things butit takes care of the pain temporarily and it's like i can't live without it anymore. i don't know if anyone else feels this way but it's so addicting even though it doesn't really fix anything. anyways i was wondering if anyone had any advice on how i can tell me friend. she kind of found out when i first started and she told my school psych but it didn't matter because it was summer. i really don't want my mom to find out but i'm afraid she will if i tell anyone. i don't know whether to tell her or not because i know that if i tell her she will tell someone else. anyways now i'm rambling...i've read some of the previous replies and i have some ideas. any advice would be appreciated. i know i can't keep doing this but i don't know how to stop...anyways thanks.

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I on and off do it.I really hate it.I have the biggest cravings.My friend who i talk to alot ends up finding out cause i just tell her everything.

I think you need to get one of those friends wh ojust knows exactley what to say and is all ways there or if you alrady have one then just wait for a good moment because if you tell them while there on a high its goiing to ruin there mood.

Start off by telling one person then work up from there]

 

Hope that helps

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Just start by telling the friend you feel closest to, and who shares things with you. I did this with my friend and discovered that she had the same problem.

I then told another friend by first asking her not to judge me, and then when she asked what I meant I showed her my arms.

Don't suffer in silence. Tell your friends and they can help you overcome this.

As for telling your parents. I completely understand. I feel like I've gone too far with my cutting and I should tell them before they see the cuts. I've been fighting with myself about it and I'm going to tell my mum when we're alone.

Feel free to PM me. I know what you're going through.

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Hey guys. It's been a long while. I thought I'd update everyone on everything. Someone who found out actually told my parents, and currently I am seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist, and I have been put on medication. I really don't know if it's helping, but I guess that's that. Thank you those who replied. Now I'd like to offer an ear and advice to anybody who needs it.

I haven't cut for a month now, and things are somewhat getting better. It's really not that interesting, just that everything's out now, and things have been really strange. So enough of me. If anyone needs to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me. I know what it's like, and I've been through a lot of what cutters go through.

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  • 5 years later...

look i know its hard to tell people that kinda stuff your use to not talking to anybody about it,but if there your friends trust me theyll help you, when i told my friend she seemed like she didnt believe me until i showed her my arm after that she halped me quit she told me that when i think about doing it to think bout my srm being hers or someone i love and how bad i would fell if it was there arm trust me theyll undersand and theyll help you quit when your redy tell them its one of the best things you can do.

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