Long lost Love...Are feelings still possible??

[Echo]

Not sure if this is the right forum to post but I have a dilemma...

 

To give a little background...I dated a guy about 10 years ago, and it was that butterflies in your stomach love...for both of us. We dated about 4 months, but he was from another city...broke my heart and moved back there, where he is currently. He is now married and has been for over 5 years. I am very happy for him.

We have actually kept in touch over the course of the last few years..mostly via email..BUT last December...he IM'ed me and we were talking..and out of the blue..he said "I still love you, you know"? I was truly floored. He thn said it would be nice to talk to me on the phone...I saw no harm in it, so he called..but we only talked briefly.He told me to call him the next day...I did and left him a voice message. Anyway...a few days later he sent me an email, I guess regretting his "confession" to me...as a way to make sure I didn;t take it the wrong way...he said it was a "reminiscent" thing he said. I was fine with that..but I admit, I was a bit puzzled. I think he felt guilty because he is married.

One thing I should note is that this guy is very well known...lets say in the "entertainment" industry in a very major city. He told me his wife is VERY VERY jealous and insecure.

I had asked about visiting his city...if business happened to take me there, and he seemed almost scared at the thought. He said he's married..blah blah blah....and his wife would be jealous etc..I told him to bring her along!!! I have NO ulterior motives...just would be nice to see him after SO long!

This is my dilemma ....I AM going to his city in October and would like to see him, although I am not pinning my hopes on it. It is work related.

I guess I am confused about his reactions. He is "happily" married...and he meets TONS of people everyday...celebrities, etc. Could he still have feelings for me??? I mean ..after all this time?

I would never cause him trouble or try to interfere in his life...why is a simple meeting a big deal? I am confused.

Is it POSSIBLE to have those feelings for someone after THAT long??

Input?

[confusedgrl23]

I think you need to stay away. He is married, and its abvious he is trying to avoid any issues that might come up.

Yes he might still care for you etc, but it doesnt mean that he wants to pursue them.

 

Save both of your troubles and stay away. Ten yrs is a long time. Maybe if he was single it would be a completely different story. But he is married and he made that clear to you many times.

From what I read, it doesnt sound like he is interested in pursuing anything even if its on a friendship level.

[lady00]

There's no point in meeting him. You're wondering if he still loves you but even though he said he did it doesn't matter. He's married and wants to stay that way. Don't risk messing with your head or his by meeting up.

[WArrior458]

why would you want to do that? he is married and on your behalf it would look bad...I mean even though you don't want to pursue anything with him his wife won't see as that.. Just have some respect for them and for yourself....your not going to get anything in reward but some stress and confusion which will ruin your health and maybe even work conflicts( to much stress)

[Echo]

OK I agree with you all...to a point.

Yes it has been a LONG time since I have seen him. My intentions are very very innocent. I am sure his wife wouldn;t see it that way.. am a woman I can understand that. Then again it is not ME who spilled the "I love you" it was him. I took it for what it was worth. I never read anything into it.

I'm not a homewrecker..BELIEVE me.

On the flip side ..I can see how it seems I am trying to "ignite" something here. Not at all. I am sensible enough to know we are BOTH completely different people now...and even if he were single, I would be sensible enough to know that. My question was more or less to know if HE was still harboring feelings for ME? It is him who has the issue with seeing me again. Not the other way around.

Maybe he doesn't want to chance having those feelings again...I don't know.

I haven't asked him yet either....but you guys are probably right. So I doubt I will. I might tell his AFTER my trip that I was there. How's that??

[confusedgrl23]

Echo, its possible that he might still have feelings for you...but its also abvious that he does not want to cause any trouble or mixed feelings etc.

It doesnt matter who said what first, its the fact that he has told you over and over again that he has a wife would not be comfortable with you two seeing eachother. Thats admirable and you should respect that.

 

I dont even know what is the point of you two keeping contact, you have both moved on, are at your own places in life...what is the point really?

Even if you dont mean any harm and you just want friendship, that can have some really bad consequences later.

[DN]

My intentions are very very innocent. ...

I haven't asked him yet either....but you guys are probably right. So I doubt I will. I might tell his AFTER my trip that I was there. How's that??

 

'The Road to Hell Is Paved with Good Intentions' - a cliché but true nevertheless.

 

I think you would be best advised not to talk with him at all - before or after. What would be the purpose of telling him you had been there?