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Mixed signals? am i reading them right?


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ok, first of all, im amazed ive resorted to this, but hopefully some people out there are willing to help me out

 

ok, well lets see im in my 2nd year of college and hmm.... where to start, ive been interested in this girl for the past year or so, and we've gone on "dates" ive guess the past summer, but never got romantically involved. like, just out to eat, bike rides, just stuff for fun.

 

Well... this summer was a little diffrent, we started hanging out again a bit more, and i figured i really needed to make a move, cuz the longer i waited, the more i was just getting mad at myself for not doing anything. And she seemed to like me, cuz i mean, we WERE hanging out alot and stuff.. so she invites me over to watch a movie w/ her, and we kiss and hold hands. ( i know, i feel liek im in 8th grade or something >_

 

We went out and did a few things as the days went by. Went to a baseball game, and like, it felt like things were going good and i got like a kiss good night on the cheek....

 

well.. .tonight.... i invited her over to watch a movie and stuff, and like, we were just kinda hanging out, and for w/e reason im not much for making first moves, so we werent really cuddling or anything on the couch.. but near the end of the movie, she kinda just shifted positions and had her hand real close to mine, so i was like.. hmm.. sign? maybe.. so i just grabbed it w/e... .and like she held it back, and we jsut finished watching the movies, and than i went to walk her to her car outside, and we were talking and stuff.. and than she turns and is all like thanx for the night, and i went to kiss her, and we kissed for a bit, but like.. it just felt like it wasnt right at all.... like.... i was kinda holding her, and her arms werent really anywhere... and like.. i dunno.. it just felt BAD....... so ya, i really dont know what the deal is... a week ago we were making out in her basement, and than i kiss her tonight and its weird.....??? I guess im just kinda looking for advice on what to do next.. i mean... the last thing i want to do is give up... but i also dont want to spend god knows how long chasing some girl that isnt interested in me...

 

also, please dont worry about being nice or anything, just want what you think could be going down.... ty

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If I am correct, you and her made out before, but now she seems a bit weird about it. If she'd seriously NOT be interested, I don't think she'd accept an invitation to your home for an evening of movies. On the other hand, it is strange that the kissing was so one-sided this time. Is she a shy type of girl?

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

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Hmmmm you got me thinking...haha

 

I think this girl likes you. However, she may still be a BIT uncomfortable/nervous around you...and that might have caused the awkwardness you felt in the good night kiss. I think it will just take time, maybe she wasn't feeling it that particular night. I think I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend. Sometimes, I feel ultra comfy around him and want to make out...other times, I'm a little nervous around him. Probably, most of this is because I haven't been in a relationship before him. So, maybe she's like that too.

 

Just be patient and don't act nervous or unsure around her, which will make HER more nervous...(trust me). It could have just been an "off" night.

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ya, true, actually at work today, someone pointed out that she kept looking at me during the day, so i guess that was a bit of a self-esteem booster

 

also, it didnt seem too ackward today, she was smiling at me and stuff.. so maybe it was all in my head? i dunno...? i mean, this girl seemed to like me alot before, leave notes for me to just say hi and stuff.... i dunno... lol

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Hey man, next time you get together and you go in for a kiss, be a little more aggressive. I'm not saying you should start ramming your tongue down her throat, but feel her up and really get into it, just let go. Basically, just give in to your passions and go for it, if she's into you she'll probably melt in your arms.

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well.... it was really weird but she ended up calling ME.. but ya, i just kinda played it cool, and just talked to her at work and stuff... i just acted like i have been acting for the past year or so.. just friendly/flirty and stuff.... and she ended up wanting to having dinner w/ me.. and than yada yada yada... i was at her place till midnight

 

maybe just an off night? i dunno...... we'll both be at diff schools in like a week.. so we'll see what happens after that??

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if you actually want to date this girl... as in dating that might lead to a relationship... start doing the planning. Ask her out. Do things within your budget. Give her clear signals that you want to get to know her better, not just her lips.

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im not sure if i shoudl make a new post, but a real good friend of hers (9 years) was asking me about her, and if i was planning on dating her....

if ive learned anything from the 6th grade, its, when a girl starts asking you about her friend, its a usually a GOOD thing

also, when i asked her friend what SHE thought about us dating (the other girl and me) she said that she thought it was a good idea, and i shoudl consider it a good thing that she is talking to me about it....

 

so... i guess those are all good signs... so w/ those thoughts in the back of my mind, i decided to ask her out once more before we go to school to try to set up some sort of an official date

 

i'm taking her to this 30$ a pop restraunt (which im paying for than im thinkign ice cream afterwards, and there is like.. this outside mall type thing, and i think i'll talk to her about it there.....

 

im still a lil nervous even w/ all these signs, but i think it should go well... she leaves for school in like.. 2 days... so im not sure if she wants a BF going into College.. cuz we are going to diff schools.. but they are only 30 mins apart.... hmm....

There is only one way to find out

im basically just going to ask what she would tihnk about us dating, before i actually ask her to do it.... i think that would make the drive home a little more barable

 

i guess this was mostly just an update post and i'll let you all know how it goes tonight

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well i asked her 2nite.. and she responded w/ she wanted to see how it was goign to work before we started a relationship.. which i can respect... but im not sure if she was just saying that to make me feel better, or if she really means it... she kept holding my hand for the rest of the night, and gave me a good night kiss.. but im still kinda bummed out about it... i'll figure out how i feel tomorrow i guess thanx for reading up on me guys. i guess this is the end of the Thread

 

~ Brandon ~

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well.. update number 3.... i guess i completely was off base... i thought she was just making excuses why we couldnt date.. but she honestly wanted to see how it would work out before we do....

and i found this out when her friend asked me how the night was... and i told her it didnt go so well....

than her friend proceeded to tell me that it wasnt what she heard... and that the girl i took out was really into me.. and was really looking forward to our relationship, and that she was so happy that i asked her and stuff.... i guess i mis-read that night >_

 

i think im too impulsive, and just kinda do what i feel is right... and i mean, sometimes it works.. my last GF i had i barely knew, but i had a feeling we would work out, and we dated for almost 2 years... so when a girl isnt like that, i just think they arent interested.....

 

but i guess this girl is really cautious around guys, and doesnt want to get her heart broken, so she wants to make sure it is possible for us to have a relationship even when we are at diff schools before we actually label it "boyfriend+ Girlfriend" which i can respect.. since im really into her, and will give her whatever time, space ect.. she needs

 

so the moral of the story is Girls are crazy.

happy ending though, which im VERY happy about (and she actually JUST called me, and we are hanging out before she leaves tomorrow)

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