how to get over crush?

[Kaia]

In the past few months i've been developing a crush on a guy friend of mine. But by now I'm pretty certain he's not interested (i never get any signals from him) and want to get over this silly crush. So how do I go about doing that?

We sometimes go out as a group so whenever I'm getting over him, I'd see him again, and get butterfly stomach. I get jealous over him showing interest in other girls too, and i want that feeling to end. Please help! I've known him for a few years now and would like to remain friends.

[TheMailMan]

alright... do you know the rule about people wanting what they cant have... and when i person can have something they dont want it... if you have had this crush for awhile... maybe told a couple of your close personal friends... i can promise you the guy knows... and him knowing is not a good thing for more than a friendship... the second you start eyeing another guy... talking to him about this other guy... he will want you like you would never believe... i would say this is how 75% of all guys would act... but this takes into account that IN GENERAL, he thinks you are a good looking girl and you and him click pretty well... now that other 25% include the jerks and the (hardcore) "mr. nice guys" who truly want to be your friend and nothing more... but try it out... start eyeing a different guy... it may work... or you two may just be ment to be friends... a crush is a crush and you will eventually get over it if it isnt ment to be... but dont sweat it too much ... and dont forget to smile!

 

The Mail Man

[Kaia]

I was careful not to tell any of our mutual friends about it so unless he picks it up from me, he probably doesn't know for sure. Hmm.. eyeing for another guy? I've tried that but not working so far. It'd be better if he outright dates other girl or call someone his gf so I can forget about it. ](*,)

[smallworld]

It'd be better if he outright dates other girl or call someone his gf so I can forget about it. ](*,)

 

*Hugs* Kaia. I know exactly how you feel. I had a crush on a guy friend once for 4 years and it was not fun. Well the stone cold honest truth is the best way to kill the crush is to cut contact. Crushes are like an addiction. Every little bit of time you spend with him just fuels the desire for more time. It's best if you could tell him that you want to be friends, but you need "time off" so that his feelings don't get hurt by your sudden absense. But if you can't do that, then slowly increase the amount of time you spend with other friends while you gradually reduce time spent with him.

 

I know it's hard, but unless you're strong enough to withstand the pain of uncertainty and unrequited love, it's better if you move on and keep your heart open to other possibilities. It's hard to do that if all you see and think about is him.

[swedeace]

Maybe the best thing would be to just go out and meet other people. Get involved in a hobby or activity to get your mind off of him. Then, make it a point to NOT see your guy friend for a while. You know, just keep busy. That should help and you might meet other people too.

[Hephaestus]

I don't know if this helps or not, but I'll give you my two cents. Fair warning, it begins with background and a story.

 

I've had girls as friends on and off for most of my life. About half of them I would have considered dating if they had displayed any interest in me. I know that in a relationship it's supposed to be a guy that makes the move or signals a clear sign of interest, but in friendships with women certain assumptions are made. The most obvious is that she isn't interested in being 'more than friends'. You've heard of the 'friend zone,' right? When guys end up here, they usually give up any hope of leaving.

 

Well, to make a long story short, I've run into some of my old female friends from time to time. Most of them are married or are in relationships. The majority of them have confessed to having a crush on me at some point in our friendship. When I asked them why they never said anything to me before, they told me that I didn't seem interested. I really don't know why they feel compelled to tell me this. I actually find it a bit more depressing than flattering.

 

I have also just made a new female friend recently. I had a suspicion that she may be interested in me (unusual shyness, eye contact, flirting... behavior unusual for her). When I asked her if she wanted to be 'more than friends' she told me 'no'. Even after all the women friends I've had, I still cannot pick out a sign of interest from just being friendly.

 

That whole, 'check out other guys' thing, never worked on me either. It only enforces the notion that she isn't interested. There really is no safe way to determine if he's interested or not. If you really want to know, you'll have to take a risk.

 

The afore mentioned girl and I are still friends and hang-out often. The trick to keeping them as a friend is to tell them of your interest, but don't use the word 'crush.' If you get shot down, just downplay it. I think I said, "I shouldn't have said anything. Now you're going to get all weird on me now." I think I was smiling while I was saying it. She reacted instantly and told me she wasn't going to... and so far she hasn't.