how easy to stop caring for sumone....me

[swift44]

after a really good relationship and then a breakup me and my ex stayed close friends but because her paents aint want us together it was hard being friends because to often we kept having feelings again, now she really liked me and i really liked her, she told EVERYBODY about us, her whoel class knew, she constantly told them about our first kiss, she told me it was hard for ehr to stop caring for me but she admitted to pretendin like she didnt care, she worried about how i ate and stufff liek that, she just showed me alot of love, but now she doesnt talk she says she moved on (outta niowehere when we were talkin about feelings the day before all this started) and she jus doesnt call anymore, and instead of tlking normal with me she usualy tries to find reasonto get mad (such as if she seems upset and i ask whats wrong she gets mad0 she made new friends the same tiemthis started happening and she is jus treating me bad , when i do everything for her, treat her better then i ever treated anyone (i held out on huggin and kissing her cuz she worried it might turn to sex in the future............) but she started to stop caring for me out of the blue, i jus wanted to know from a womans point of view how easy is it to stop caring for sumone who cared for you so much sacrificedd so much and never did you wrong? please answer

[angel200488]

i jus wanted to know from a womans point of view how easy is it to stop caring for sumone who cared for you so much sacrificedd so much and never did you wrong? please answer

 

It usually isn't very easy to stop caring for someone who has cared for and treated you in this way. I seems to me that She is fighting with you and acting this way in hopes that this will push you away and some how make it easier for her to "move-on". I don't think she has stopped caring for you rather she is trying to hide her real emotions. Good luck!

[smallworld]

Swift, I can't speak for all women, but I can say this. No one ever stops caring for someone out of the blue, especially someone who gave her, her first kiss. Falling out of love is first a conscious decision and then it's a series of small actions to put distance between one's heart and the person they cared about. The more sudden and abrupt the change of heart is, the more you can be sure that the person who's doing it, is doing it out of a need for self-preservation. The pain of staying in love for whatever reason is more painful than living without it.

 

As for your girl, it sounds like you guys are Romeo and Juliet except Juliet is listening to Mom and Dad. I know it's hard, but the way she's behaving now does not undercut the love that you once shared. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that she loved you any less than she said. It simply means she's chosen to obey her parents and going "cold turkey" on you is the only way she knows how to stop the pain of not being able to have you in her life and her parent's approval.

 

Please don't beat yourself up for something that's clearly not your fault. This was her decision and she made it. Given the situation the best thing you can do is to let her go and focus on taking care of yourself. Treat yourself well. Eat your favorite foods, rent a funny movie, blast your favorite music, play sports with friends, do whatever you find fun. Take a mental vacation from your feelings. It'll get easier I promise.

[swift44]

thank you , maybe yu guyz are riight, but it would reaaaaly help if i can get alot more responses to this please

[smallworld]

Not scientific, but I've read on here that on average it takes a person half the time they were with someone to get over them. For me it's a one to one deal. One year in a relationship, one year to get over them, but I'm a procrastinator.

[Reilly2856]

I don't think she will ever stop caring for you, but I do think she's accepted the fact that she can't be with you. She's listening to her family, simple as that. This anger that she directs at you may be her way of getting you to stop talking to her. For her own sake, and yours. If you stop speaking with her, then you will be able to move on. And she will be able to let you go. But I don't think if she really loved you, and you were so good to her, she will ever forget you. Not much of a consolation when you can't be with the person but it's better than a hate relationship.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey (big smile)

 

I dont personally find it easy at all to walk away from anyone, i always try defying the odds with exes and remain friends, or with friends to not lose them. Walking away and leaving good moments behind isnt my scene. Its like when you watch love or more so relationships fall apart, most people step away from one another and completely forget - or atleast act as though theyve forgotten. But how can you? Theyve (as in the person youve just split from) made such an impact, its neive to think its that simple!

 

They were important enough to possibly love in the first place, exactly why have things changed so drastically.

 

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Still thats presuming you were close enough for something to be salvaged in the first place, often people try to trash the heart of the other in a bid to cause as much pain as possible, maybe for their own satisfaction or just to show their own hurt, so it doesnt happen as simple as i say it.

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There could be several reasons why shes behaving the way she is, of course youve got option number one where shes just changed who she is and how she feels for no apparent reason with no warning and generally wants you to leave her alone. BUT its unlikely, like i said we dont just cut off like that, we still feel, we still care.

 

I think theres alot more going on here, its possible she might be scared, maybe she doesnt like the prospect of the future or something even smaller. I doubt i can comment too much with how much i know. But you did go away, maybe this scared her, whilst you were away she might have worried about how you were feeling, if it was better (berlieve it or not) for her to move away like she has done - maybe she thought she was restricting you or holding you back. Womens minds change 24-7.

 

I guess id need to understand more.

 

but i can just about ensure you with a 99.9% she still cares. ok?

 

kell.