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First they run because they lose interest, then they come back cause they either feel guilty or want to keep their options in case they ever change their minds. Then they run cause they don't feel guilty anymore or feel like they can come back whenever they want and you'll still be there.


Best defense against this is No Contact, not becoming their friend, and making them prove it to you if they decide to come back.

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3 times??? I'm sorry that would drive me to virtual drinking too. I checked out a book recently that explains "running" in depth. The quick answer is that runners are afraid of intimacy and commitment, or more specifically people who can and want to give them those things. More here...


He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears that Sabotage Your Relationships by Stephen Carter & Julia Sokol


You can learn more about 'commitment phobes' here:

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